The brainlessness of an English Tutor. Fuming

"It's just words...just like sticks and stones will break my bones but names can never hurt me. Only they do, don't they?"

Yes, if you're being bullied or insulted, that hurts.
Words in a book? I'm not so sure. They may bring up some emotions, but then there might be an underlying problem mightn't there?

we were shown documentaries with footage of the camp being liberated

We were too. I also went to school at a time when ,any of our classmates grandfathers had fought in the war, some of whom were POWs. We also had friends whose grandparents were Jews in Germany and who had managed to escape, others whose families had died in the gas chambers.

For us the war and the holocaust were recent history and still close enough to talk to people who were there.

I can't remember a time when I didn't know about the holocaust. It was never debated whether it happened, it was accepted as a part of our lives which demonstrated the true horror of fascist regimes. We were all horrified and none of us wanted to live in a world that can do that to a group of people.

As young people we needed to be disturbed by this. We needed to know that we can never let it happen again.

Now, seeing trump back in the USA. Seeing the rise of Marine le Pen. Seeing what's happening in Europe and beyond, I do wonder if young people today really do need to understand better the horrors of those times before it's too late and they sleepwalk into allowing the far right to rise again.

Why are people always so vague with threads like this? Why not name the book from the off, tell us what in particular made DD so uncomfortable, and include some quotes?

Whether or not something is suitable for children is such a subjective question. Unless you want the stock "if it made my child uncomfortable it should be removed immediately!" response, you have to provide more information. "Uncomfortable" can mean anything. It could be something they need to work through as part of gaining maturity or an understanding of the world. Or it could be something the child is genuinely too young to be exposed to. Without context it's impossible for us to know.

There is a big difference between a 12 and a 14 year old, in terms of maturity. That said, "recommended reading ages" are being increasingly dumbed down. I often see books I would have read comfortably at seven, being recommended as for 10 or 11 year olds. I think there is more of a tendency to coddle children these days, and put unnecessary limits on them. When you couple that with a younger generation that likes to coddle itself with trigger warnings and will often drop anything that challenges them . . . I worry we're not giving kids the space they need to grow and develop. Being challenged is a big part of that.

That said, there is a real issue of publishers gearing inappropriate content younger and younger in YA fiction, in particular. It comes about because more adults are reading the genre and they want to appeal to that audience. And have lost their way in doing so. It's more of an issue in romance and fantasy books aimed at teenagers though, as far as I know.

But grew up to be Sci fi, horror and dystopia reading addicts who trust no one.

Couldn’t agree more. OP you are that mum! Who emails the form teacher to ask about a book. She’s in secondary so can speak to the form teacher herself.

Ans you decided the book wasn’t appropriate without any formal educational training and emailed the teacher.

Then you got the answer from the teacher second hand and threw a fit. Your response and attitude are entitled and the word Karen springs to mind.

"follow the sentiments of the first couple of comments" or just "agree with".

I'm certainly not just following the first posts like some kind of sheep.

Yes, I don't think the OP has done herself any favours with her explanation of the situation!

I suspect there is some missing context to "it's just words" and I expect the teacher was just trying to reassure her. I wonder if cultural issues could be at play too (Americanised spellings and terms) if the OP had a different educational experience in a different country. What seems normal to us could seem absolutely bonkers to someone who didn't attend a UK high school!

I haven't read the book in question, but when I googled it the central character is 16 years old and the first UK review site said it was aimed at teens 13+ Of course 'aimed at' does not mean 'unsuitable for children under'.

I specifically didn’t ask for the quote. I asked for the name of the book.

English teacher or tutor? There is a difference.

It's a young adult book. It is just words but if she is uncomfortable reading it then she should change it - and she has. It's hardly an issue.

Sorry but I would agree with the tutor. They are just words.
Sticks and stones

This. That's really bothered me.

I don't know if the family of camp commanders did live near the camps or not. But what I do think striped pyjamas gives a good impression of, is that those working these camps did not view the prisoners as even human. It is only when a German child is a victim did it strike them that they were people. So I do think the book has merit.

Yes, nothing raises the spirits on a cold January night after a full day of teaching and a Parents' Evening quite like reading that someone wants to email their child's teacher and call them a 'cunt' instead of engaging in a sensible conversation about this (clearly) life or death situation.

I agree. There’s that quote about how the job of good literature is to disturb the comfortable and comfort the disturbed.

It's just words...just like sticks and stones will break my bones but names can never hurt me. Only they do, don't they?we now know that words do have a profound effect and some children are naturally more sensitive.
A good chance to sit with your DD and discuss the book. I'm not saying she should be made to read it, but it may help to support her through what's bothering her about it x

I can assure you that you don't want to know.
I'm no delicate flower, I have had training on harrowing areas of safeguarding and coped fine, but this was something else and MN rightly deleted it.

I agree, I would very much dispute that TBITSP has anything much at all to do with history. And thinking so is pretty dangerous. But I also would not shout at a librarian.

@crazymomma93 I think you need to probe a bit further what the teacher actually said. If as others suggest the phrase "just words" was at the end of a longish discussion about the book, then I think it's OK. If the English teacher just dismissed your DD with the phrase and nothing else then it's not great.

I would leave it tho – sounds as tho it is all good with the form tutor. Maybe discuss with your DD how some books make us feel uncomfortable and that that may be the author’s intention. I read Beloved (not suggesting it for a 12yo!) and I found it extremely difficult; not a book I want to read again, not a book I enjoyed, but powerful and very shocking and thus well worth reading.

I felt the same about On the Beach. But it did me good, it informed my thinking and my political views. It made me angry that the world could feasibly be in that position - which was all too real a threat when I read the book as a young teenager.

It made me feel uncomfortable, upset, scared - but ultimately shaped me as a human being and I will always be pleased I read it at that impressionable age.

What book is she reading instead OP?

My worry would be if the rest of her class are reading the other book, discussing and writing about it. Your Dd will be the only one not? Which may lead to her being more upset in the long-term.

Have you discussed the book with your DD and asked her why it makes her uncomfortable? She may learn a lot more from that discussion than she would from the teacher who says, "It's just words."

And on this thread we have someone contemplating reading it with their 8 year old, crazy MN!
www.mumsnet.com/talk/what_were_reading/3267415-Eve-of-Man?utm_campaign=thread&utm_medium=share

Not a mainstream curriculum book I don't think. It was a short novel about a group of misfit boys at a summer camp. I had been the misfit all my school life (my earliest memory of being told I couldn't join a group goes right back to preschool) and despite secondary being better I was overidentifying with all the themes we were supposed to be exploring. Cue many hours of my mother's time spent in my room when I couldn't sleep and so on. She's told me since that she too hadn't appreciated until that point quite how much I still felt I didn't belong etc.

To be fair, I am not a fan of the Boy in the Striped Pyjamas, and I would hardly say it informs about history. But I wouldn’t shout at a librarian: I’d just discuss the book with my child.

Is The Handmaid’s Tail a cartoon version featuring mice? 😅 🐭

Some of them were pretty sick iirc @ARealitycheck 😂