The brainlessness of an English Tutor. Fuming

Did it? I believe it's rated 12 to 14, and OP'S DD is 12.

@Pointythings The book the OP talked about had an age rating higher than that of the child who was reading it.

I think it's really important to help a young person to have boundaries about what they do and don't feel comfortable with. I haven't read the eve of man book but the concept seems a bit....off.

"My DD12 has been having some issues with her reading book. It has been making her feel uncomfortable".

I think the reason why people of my generation were more world ready leaving our childhood is that we were put into challenging spaces all the time as children. I remember when I was 12 finding and reading a copy of Five Chimneys while staying with grandmother. It's a biography by Olga Lengyel recounting her time at Auschwitz-Birkenau. I was devastated, I wasn't aware of the Holocaust, it was a revelation and her account of her time in the camps isn't children's fiction. When my mother and grandmother found out why I was being quiet, they encouraged me to finish the book not to put it down. It became another lesson in life, how in recent history some dreadful things have happened. This book was treated as part of me growing up. Some lessons are uncomfortable, just like how scared I was when I was 6 and I had to go and buy milk by myself or when I started to walk to primary school by myself when I was 8. It was all part of growing up, training to be become bolder and more resilient. Resilient is the key word here that today's children struggle with. The question as a parent and teacher is when and how are these challenges are to be provided and these life lessons to be learned. They can't be put off forever, suddenly to be incurred all at once when they are in their late teens because these life challenges can no longer be avoided. This is a part of the reason why late teens / early twenties are so anxious these days, they've remained too long in non-judgmental safe spaces.

@Tanjamaltija I don't disagree with you that your DD's school handled this badly. But it is not relevant to OP's post.

@pointythings Be that as it may, the reply was flippant, and rude, and dismissive; the feelings of the child do not matter, because the adults know what is good for them. It's like they did her a huge favour, allowing her to take her own book. And since they allowed her - why didn't they make an open session, where each child may take a book, as long as they are reading, within limits? That way, children will read more, if the topic is one they find interesting - cars, fashion, science fiction... whatever.

@Tanjamaltija nobody is saying that schools do not sometimes get books wrong. But in OP's case the book was age appropriate. In the case of other posters on this thread, the issue was that tbooks clashed with their personal and/or religious beliefs - the solution to which is to home educate or live with it.

True story - my daughter only read books in Maltese, and the first English book she brought home, when in single digits, from the school library, was The Chocolate War. Of course I had to help her read it, and I was disgusted. I went to the school and spoke to the librarian and said it was not suitable for children. She implied that I was 'that mother' and I asked her whether she had even read the book, and she said no. I said 'There you are...' at which she bristled, and said 'What bad things could there be in a book with such an innocuous title?' So I totally understand what you are saying. These people are simply warming their seats, as we say here. I did contact the HoS, by e-mail, but I didn't even get an acknowledgement. So... there you are. I let it go, but my child did not read the book.

Define 'child' here - when I was 15 my peers were definitely reading that stuff on the sly. We all turned out pretty well. These days it's different because of the amount of truly awful material that is available online, so parents need to be savvy and vigilant.

You don't have a problem with incestuous relationships? Is this really were we are going?..

As long as they are relationships between two consenting adults and they are making 100% sure that there will be no offspring, there's no harm done. Incestuous relationships can happen by accident, for instance between half siblings who have never known about each other's existence. Pearl clutching and condemnation are not helpful in those eventualities.

You get your moral compass from your religion, hence your mentioning of 'LGBT stuff', which is hugely disrespectful to swathes of people living productive, safe, happy lives in stable families. My moral compas is secular and pragmatic. Fortunately we both live in places where we are free to believe what we believe.

So you’d be fine with a child reading Harold Robbins?

You don't have a problem with incestuous relationships? Is this really were we are going?..

I needn't bother to reply to anything else.

Enjoy

The Lion The Witch And The Wardrobe

It isn't about being delicate though. Our education works with set books, end of. And of course children are allowed to express their feelings about a book - but they can't expect that book to be changed just because they dislike it.

if teachers are so delicate that they can't bear to be told that a pupil doesn't like a chosen book, then they aren't up to the job of teaching such pupils. kids in schools deserve proper responses to their thoughts and feelings, and the chance of genuine debate.

I'm guessing The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe but this thread has taken a turn!!

Completely agree with you. An American study showed 1 out of 5 Gen Z respondents saying the Holocaust was a myth, and you can see what's happening around the world again.

The boy in the striped pyjamas. No idea about TLTWATW though.

Of all the zillions of books in the world, I'm sure regardless of people's personal opinions on the book etc, they could of, and should of, chosena book within the age appropriate rating. The age rating is there for a reason.

One of my daughters was shown a film at school a few years above her age and it really really upset her and I was cross because I didn't feel it was reasonable to do that without parent consent.

Practise -a verb in your sentence-has an s.

Trying to work out what book TBITSP is 🤣

Found the homophobe

Sorry accidently deleted the EOM paragraph. I can also see why the ideas in the EOM text are very difficult for a 12 year old. The lack of autonomy experienced by the main character is relevant to our society (once again using a contrived plot line to explore a concept and illustrate it in a way that an audience can understand simply - just like TBITSP and TLTWATW). I probably wouldn't have chosen it, but it may relate to PSHE in that year group. I think the teacher did address the issue, when it was brought to their attention.

I have just scrolled through this post - largely to find out the book referred to. I am a retired English teacher and confess that I don't enjoy TBITSP myself. I do understand how it was written and appreciate the storyline (using a similar trope to that used by C.S. Lewis in TLTWATW to illustrate aspects of the concept of sacrifice) does resonate with younger people. I didn't enjoy reading the book myself so understand why another reader might feel unsettled by it. Education does sometimes push you into dark places. I was stunned by the unseen translation in one of my 'O levels' which dealt with the siege of Masada - we all were. I remember us sitting outside after the exam just stunned at the horror of it all. My friends and I were 15 and 16 at the time, it was horrifying. TBITSP is not at all in that league but it is still heart-rending.

I am pretty sure that no-one in the staff room is talking about 'that mom'; parents have concerns, we all know that and any parent may become distressed. My experience is that we listen and consider whether the overall value of the ideas in the book justify its use at that point in the curriculum. Sometimes learning trumps enjoyment - I think it has to. The trick is making sure that isn't always the case. I think the teacher concerned did try to put things right for the child concerned.

FWIW, I hated 'Lord of the Flies' but it taught me something important and changed me, aged 12. I'm glad it did.

@dadsnet780

Re 1: it's a figure of speech.
Re 2: only in the home. Parents do not control the curriculum or decide set books. If you want to do that, you'll have to home educate.
Re 3: Morality which comes from religious belief is not objective. It's based on belief, nothing more.
Re 4: Judging someone because of how they live their life is not for us mortals. Judge not, lest ye be judged, remember?
Re 5: You can of course believe what you want. That's the joy of living in a free country. However, when your beliefs about 'that LGBT stuff' make you think you are allowed to control the state school curriculum, you've crossed a line and you're back to my point 2.
Re 6: I don't actually have a problem with incestuous relationships, as long as there are absolutely no offspring. No harm done in that scenario.
Re 7: I refer you back to point 3. Also, morals absolutely do need to change. Society used to think that slavery was acceptable. Society used to think that raping your wife was legal. Society used to think that women should not vote. Constant reviews of what we do and whether it is still moral is a vital part of maintaining a civilisation.

Thank you for reading,

     Pointy