Surely I'm not the only one...

Housework at the weekend is 50:50. It's your weekend too FFS. He shouldn't "help if needed".

He sounds utterly horrendous OP. I certainly wouldn't be cooking him dinner. I would struggle to be married to such a prick.

I am so grateful I am single.

I know you don't want to leave. I'm not advising you to leave over this. But if you financially could not leave if you desperately wanted, that's a problem. Because he knows it and so do you. How can you negotiate, or have firm boundaries when you can't really do alot if he does not respect the boundaries. I don't know how he will react to an adult conversation which is why I feel for women who have no back up in the event they have one which is a man baby. Anyway....

In this situation I think games and sulking are just silly. I recall growing up watching the most immature sulking and tantrums between my parents.

If you knew that you could always look after yourself you can set realistic boundaries so he is taught to stop being a complete adolescent.

I would want to say very calmly,we need to talk please love ( or whatever you call him). And set time aside. He needs to be told exactly how it is for you. He needs to be told about the imbalance atm and how that imbalance means you are exhausted and want comfort over anything else.

If he would like a bit more 'effort' I would calmly ask what he may be able to do to help make that happen. For example, of all your workload, what might he be able to take on himself out of all those things you currently do? I'd list them to him.

I would explain to him that when he just makes comments like that and expects things, it turns your libido right off. It might help to make him understand this. I really think most of them don't actually understand it.

His response will tell you all you need to know.

You didn't get his breakfast or a packed lunch?!!! Ffs?! YOU ARE NOT HIS SLAVE.
He should be doing that himself!!!! Get a backbone and stop this utter madness.

He helps out?? HELPS OUT?!

Fuck that shit.

How's it going @Sugarspiceandeverythingnice OP?

I assume he's taken over all your jobs and you've had a few days to recharge and feel marginally less knackered?

Good let him get fat on takeaways and then you bc complain that he’s let himself go.

don't do his laundry or any life admin for him either.

What a wanker he is.

Do you have shared finance and does he gives you 50% of the leftovers of his salary so you save it in your name

This is really awful! Having a go at you for wearing pyjamas to bed? It’s absolutely ludicrous behaviour! God, my DH puts mine on the radiator to warm up for when I get in from work (he’s far from perfect but I know he’d never berate me for wearing pjs to bed!) I feel for you, must of felt awful to have that abuse hurled at you.

That's fine. I imagine by day 30 he'll have either got sick of them, or learned how to turn on the cooker by himself 👍

Well, it also makes me content with my FT job, decent DH, and lack of economic dependence on a pig.

OP, this sounds like a wake-up call — to buy yourself a sexy negligee and slink about making come hit her eyes at your DH? No. Obviously. To get back to work, make yourself economically independent, make your husband do precisely 50% of the household grunt-work, dropoffs and pickups, cooking, childcare etc. Or ditch him for someone who appreciates you.

I hope you're not planning on doing his laundry either. Or buying his shower gel/deodorant etc. Or booking his car MOT. Or any of the other many things you undoubtedly do either.

He's an arsehole. I know you said you can't leave him because of the kids but by allowing this to continue, you're teaching any boys you have that it's OK to treat a partner like this, and any girls that it's an acceptable way to be treated.

God, the bar is low. It's not 1957 for god's sake. Go back to work, secure your future and then decide if you want to be dragged down by such an arse.

God . Aren't some men just shallow bastards 🙄

Another day, another thread on MN making me feel ever so content with my single status!

So he's not trying to support you, or ease your workload. He just wants to rub it in that he can survive without you but you still need him (money). He's forgotten (or doesn't care) that the only real reason you need him is because of your joint children.

It's time to make a plan. First is to get a job, then the next is to leave. In the meantime stop helping him clean his dirty pants, or helping him to eat, or helping him look like a kind and supportive son to MIL. He's made it plain - your loving relationship is over.

IT IS NOT HELPING OUT. IT IS NOT YOUR JOB. HE IS THEIR FATHER.

Serious conversation time.

He's massively taking you for granted. If he supported you more maybe your libido would recover but he's treating you like a skivvy. You're letting him by keeping schtum.

Instant ick.
Why doesn't he make a effort and learn some bloody manners.

Well he has behaved appalling. Having young kids is like being in the trenches esp when he with the big important job doesn't help at all.

Did he not realise 4 kids close ish together would be hard work? That you would be tired.

Ew buy him a sex doll.

You really do need to leave him op and in the meantime stop doing anything for him, washing, cooking, anything for his mother.

The man is a misogynistic piece of shit.

Done what to him? He's a grown man. Possibly running to his mummy to be fed is pathetic.

My husband works full-time, and I work a few hours per week and we have a son. My husband has never expected me to do the parenting, bedtime, school runs, helping with homework, cooking, cleaning, laundry and admin all myself. Yes, I may do the majority, as I only work a few hours a week but he helps. He doesn't come home from work, eat dinner and sit on his arse all evening, whilst I run around. You need a conversation with your husband, so that he starts taking some responsibility from you. Family life still happens and exists when he comes home, it doesn't stop. I understand he was unwell, so therefore you went to help your MIL. However, she's HIS Mum, not yours, and as much as you don't mind helping her, again he needs to take some responsibility there too!! Perhaps if you weren't so tired by the end of the day, you might feel a bit more inclined to be intimate with him!! How many Mum's with young children, rush off to slip into their sexy lingerie??!!! It's more like fleecy, comfortable pyjamas!!