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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

..to not go to this concert

41 replies

JoelyJoe · 20/01/2025 16:52

My teenage daughter's youth choir have been asked to do backing vocals for a couple of songs at a (semi famous) artist's tour. It's taking place about 30 miles from where we live.
Tickets are on sale for the concert at about £30 each. The kids are performing for a couple of the songs, the rest of it would just be watching the artist perform (not someone I had ever heard of before this point). I was pleased/ excited for my daughter but was not planning on attending the concert... I was going to drop her off / pick her up and go for a meal or something in the interim.
I've now found out that lots of other parents are going to watch, and I'm starting to feel bad.
AIBU not to go? I've asked my daughter and she's not bothered either way. Normally I support all her stuff; plays concerts etc, but it hadn't really occurred to me for this as they are a relatively small part of the performance, and I am not fussed about seeing the main performer. But maybe it's a really big deal.. on stage at a real, commercial concert. Should I be dashing out to get tickets???

OP posts:
Leftphalange100 · 20/01/2025 17:23

I wouldn't assume she's not bothered just because that's what she is saying. You're driving there anyway, money is not an issue if you're planning to go out for dinner. Why on earth would you miss this?

Anon1274 · 20/01/2025 17:22

Of course you should go 😧 your daughter may be feeling awful that you don’t really care so feels like she has to act the same

TulipCat · 20/01/2025 17:22

Of course you should go and support your child, especially as you'll be right there at the venue anyway. Part of parenting is sitting through activities you don't personally have an interest in because it's important to your child. And I say this as one who has stood on the sidelines of hundreds of football matches!

usernamesaretoohardtothinkof · 20/01/2025 17:22

I can’t believe you’re even thinking about missing this.

PizzaPunk · 20/01/2025 17:21

If she's really not bothered, I don't know why you're asking?

Tink3rbell30 · 20/01/2025 17:20

Of course you should support her.

LumpyPumpkin · 20/01/2025 17:20

Are you absolutely sure your daughter isn't bothered? She may have felt under pressure to say that because you asked her. I am surprised you even asked her, I think the assumption would be that you would of course be going.

I could understand if it was a financial issue but you'll probably spend £30+ going for a meal while you wait for her.

This could well be the biggest performance your daughter ever does, I think you should probably go even if the rest of your show won't be your cup of tea.

TizerorFizz · 20/01/2025 17:19

I would go. If other parents are going you will look a bit miserable and non supportive if you don’t.

TankFlyBossWalkJamNittyGrittyIAmFromAMidSizeCity · 20/01/2025 17:17

Op I've sat through hundreds of hours of various things throughout my parenting years for my kids to be on stage for a few minutes, so I feel your pain, but I would go see her perform regardless. Stuff like that means a lot to kids.

FallOfTheHouseOfUtterlyButterly · 20/01/2025 17:13

We are going to watch a show because a friend has a tiny part in it. Think one scene type tiny.
But it's their first "big" show and we want to support them. It's not a show we'd be fussed about seeing otherwise. But it's not about the show, it's about them

MidnightPatrol · 20/01/2025 17:05

Are you sure she’s not bothered?

She may just be saying that as self-preservation, knowing you aren’t interested in going.

Newyearbutsameoldproblems · 20/01/2025 17:03

To my mind the important thing is how your daughter feels about this.
If she isn't bothered about you staying for the performance and you weren't bothered until you heard what other parents were doing then I would stick to your original plan.
You shouldn't do things just because of what other people are doing.
And I think that's a lot of money to pay out for something that you aren't really fussed about if your daughter isn't going to be upset by you not being there.

FastFood · 20/01/2025 16:58

I remember seeing the Noisettes' singer's mum at one of their small gigs, in Reading festival, 30-60 people approx.
Her mum was beaming with pride, that was the most adorable thing.

Totally appreciate you don't want to go to the full gig and that money might be tight but you may regret later.

Justlurking101 · 20/01/2025 16:57

It's only £30, you will probably be more than that for a meal while missing your daughter's performance.

FallOfTheHouseOfUtterlyButterly · 20/01/2025 16:56

Also if its 30 miles away it's quite a trek. Might as well watch her tbh

FallOfTheHouseOfUtterlyButterly · 20/01/2025 16:55

Its quite a big deal to share a stage with someone even semifamous

She might not be fussed now but might feel differently when her friends in the choir are talking about their parents watching it, maybe after if they took photos etc

Is it just you? For £30 I'd just go