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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

..to not go to this concert

41 replies

JoelyJoe · 20/01/2025 16:52

My teenage daughter's youth choir have been asked to do backing vocals for a couple of songs at a (semi famous) artist's tour. It's taking place about 30 miles from where we live.
Tickets are on sale for the concert at about £30 each. The kids are performing for a couple of the songs, the rest of it would just be watching the artist perform (not someone I had ever heard of before this point). I was pleased/ excited for my daughter but was not planning on attending the concert... I was going to drop her off / pick her up and go for a meal or something in the interim.
I've now found out that lots of other parents are going to watch, and I'm starting to feel bad.
AIBU not to go? I've asked my daughter and she's not bothered either way. Normally I support all her stuff; plays concerts etc, but it hadn't really occurred to me for this as they are a relatively small part of the performance, and I am not fussed about seeing the main performer. But maybe it's a really big deal.. on stage at a real, commercial concert. Should I be dashing out to get tickets???

OP posts:
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Comefromaway · 20/01/2025 20:11

My daughter has done a few similar things.one was with someone who’d been on X factor. I was chaperoning so got to watch for free.

for some of these kids it will be the biggest thing they’ve ever done, really exciting. But there came a point for my daughter where it was just another show. I couldn’t possibly go to everything.

so take the lead from your child.

PLHJ84 · 20/01/2025 20:06

I’d go. Especially driving her 30miles to do it

Original poster
JoelyJoe · 20/01/2025 19:35

Longma · 20/01/2025 19:32

I'd have to go, even if it wasn't an artist I was bothered about seeing.
I can imagine a teenager muttering 'I don't mind' but really hoping you might go and watch.
It will feel like a really big event for them - big stage, a semi-famous artist, etc.

I'm wondering if it's the same concert a family member is singing at with her choir in a couple of weeks.

Could be..!!

OP posts:
Original poster
JoelyJoe · 20/01/2025 19:34

RabbitsRock · 20/01/2025 17:55

Wondering who it is but guess it could be outing to tell us

Yes, sorry... could definitely be outing...

OP posts:
Housebuy1 · 20/01/2025 19:34

Yeah I would go!

Longma · 20/01/2025 19:32

I'd have to go, even if it wasn't an artist I was bothered about seeing.
I can imagine a teenager muttering 'I don't mind' but really hoping you might go and watch.
It will feel like a really big event for them - big stage, a semi-famous artist, etc.

I'm wondering if it's the same concert a family member is singing at with her choir in a couple of weeks.

Cakeandcardio · 20/01/2025 19:13

I would go if you can afford it. It might not seem a big deal now and your daughter might seem to not care but it might be something she will remember in future - that you didn't go.
If the artist is rubbish, I suppose you can always leave after your daughter has performed

NoCarbsForMe · 20/01/2025 19:04

I'd go.

FallOfTheHouseOfUtterlyButterly · 20/01/2025 18:07

They would have given you a heads up otherwise some parents would have complained they didn't see their DC enough and thought they'd be on all night

Glad you're booked now though, go and have a fab evening when it comes around

RabbitsRock · 20/01/2025 17:55

Wondering who it is but guess it could be outing to tell us

RabbitsRock · 20/01/2025 17:55

That’s great OP - hope you all have a lovely night.

TankFlyBossWalkJamNittyGrittyIAmFromAMidSizeCity · 20/01/2025 17:54

Good call op, enjoy 💐

Original poster
JoelyJoe · 20/01/2025 17:49

Hi.
Thanks for all the replies.
Just to clarify a couple of things.. when we (parents) were first emailed about the concert, we were told (along these lines) "tickets are available if you want to watch, but please be aware your child will only be on stage for a couple of songs", and there was also a chance that a coach was being arranged to take them (which wouldn't have room for parents). At this point I asked my daughter "do you want us to come", and she said "I don't mind", so I thought I'd leave it.
It has since been made apparent that lots of parents are going (and there isn't a coach), and I started to think maybe I've made the wrong call. Hence my post.
Anyway, after reading all your thoughts (and listening to my own), I have just booked some tickets, and I'm looking forward to it!!

OP posts:
stayathomer · 20/01/2025 17:48

We skipped a concert years ago that my eldest was in, I honestly nearly cried on seeing the videos afterwards! The opportunity came up a few years later with my 12yo and we went and had the best time ever!! Still talk about it now and my eldest gives us a look over it!

FallOfTheHouseOfUtterlyButterly · 20/01/2025 17:46

MrsAvocet · 20/01/2025 17:31

Does she have to stay for the whole concert or will she be able to leave after their songs? If she can leave before the end I would probably not want to be stuck in the venue whilst she was waiting to leave, especially if it's a school night. But if she has to stay til the end anyway I expect I'd go, though I might sneak out and read a book in the bar after the kids had done their bit, unless I was enjoying the main act.

You wouldn't be stuck in the venue, you would be able to leave too. People aren't forced to stay in concerts

MrsAvocet · 20/01/2025 17:31

Does she have to stay for the whole concert or will she be able to leave after their songs? If she can leave before the end I would probably not want to be stuck in the venue whilst she was waiting to leave, especially if it's a school night. But if she has to stay til the end anyway I expect I'd go, though I might sneak out and read a book in the bar after the kids had done their bit, unless I was enjoying the main act.

Penguinmouse · 20/01/2025 17:30

If you’re going to drive her 30 miles there, presumably you would have just stayed in your car rather than go home and back. I would definitely go!

Createausername1970 · 20/01/2025 17:29

I would go.

Firstly, because you will probably end up spending more if you go for a meal.

Secondly, if this semi famous person gets famous, then your daughter will have photos (assuming you take some) of when she was taking part in a concert with this person on the bill. Memories.

Thirdly, IF there is an issue then you are at least in the auditorium. She is a teenager, so probably will be fine if something goes wrong, but even the maturest of young people can get thrown by something unexpected. If you have to come back to the venue, try to find somewhere to park and then try to get in - without a ticket - you may have difficulty. It seems on a bigger scale than a local hall.

NerrSnerr · 20/01/2025 17:28

I'm surprised that you didn't assume that most parents would be going to watch. I think that would be the norm.

I would go and watch personally. My daughter has a friend who will tell her parents she isn't bothered that they don't go to stuff, she tells her friends differently but doesn't want to make her parents feel guilty.

pinkyredrose · 20/01/2025 17:28

Who is the singer they're supporting?

KezzaMucklowe · 20/01/2025 17:28

I'd go too.
My dc would say they're not bothered but I know they would love for me to go.

Itisjustmyopinion · 20/01/2025 17:26

That’s a pretty big deal. I would feel shit if my mum just dropped me off at something like that

fingerbobz · 20/01/2025 17:25

Id go but leave after the kids perform

FancyBiscuitsLevel · 20/01/2025 17:25

I would go too. Take a book for the rest of it?

Missionimprobable · 20/01/2025 17:24

I'd go and suck it up.
Your dd is probably giving you an "out" I'd make a fuss about how excited I am.
I'm speaking as a parent who sat through many Recorder concerts (painful) there's only so many times you can hear Three Blind Mice off key without wanting to rip your own ears off 😂