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Original poster

Things it took you far to long to work out (or admit)

243 replies

Slowontheup · 20/01/2025 14:04

I'm so annoyed with myself for drinking so much (socially and more or less within normal UK limits but still far too much)

it made me bloated and fat. I used to deny this could possibly be the case and went to every exercise class going plus starved myself. It was the booze.

specifically and most irritating - it made my arms fat. I considered going to Brazil for expensive and risky arm surgery ffs. My arms are thin now and I'm in my 40s

i must have spent a bloody fortune. Also did many risky and undignified things in my 20s and lost many many items in taxis (more expense incurred)

maybe it's part of growing up but wish I'd limited it to 2 years instead of best part of 20!

what did you do that you wish you'd cottoned on to a bit blinking sooner?!

OP posts:
Coriol · 20/01/2025 23:01

That feeling discomfort, fear, sadness or another unpleasant feeling can actually be sat with for a bit without the world ending. You don’t have to ‘fix’ it instantly or conclude that there’s something disastrously wrong.

Greyish2025 · 20/01/2025 23:00

JimHalpertsWife · 20/01/2025 16:28

That people only really get pissed off with your boundaries because they are planning on crossing them

That you cannot trust your mind after 9pm. On anything. Wait til morning.

That even the most perfect person has flaws. No one is perfect.

That people only really get pissed off with your boundaries because they are planning on crossing them

Very true

TurtlesDoNotPetsMake · 20/01/2025 22:57

It took me an insane amount of my life to learn how to tell the time. Even now I get it wrong sometimes. I'm forever turning up an hour early.
Plus I can spell a word perfectly for years but then completely forget how to spell it.

Kingsleadhat · 20/01/2025 22:53

murasaki · 20/01/2025 22:52

Your dad sounds like a good one.

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He really was. What a lovely thing to say

murasaki · 20/01/2025 22:52

Kingsleadhat · 20/01/2025 22:49

My dad used to say "They don't make diamonds as big as bricks"

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Your dad sounds like a good one.

Kingsleadhat · 20/01/2025 22:49

brassandswitch · 20/01/2025 15:38

Best things come in small packages - was always told this as a child because I was abnormally small and still am 5ft 1. Made me more conscious about my height than anything else lol

My dad used to say "They don't make diamonds as big as bricks"

FluffletheMeow · 20/01/2025 22:46

That I'm not grow up and be less of a mess. Closer to 40 than 30 now. This is what grown up looks like.

SparklePopRampage · 20/01/2025 22:36

Life! Tbh always thought everyone else got it and I didn’t. Turns out I am severely traumatised, have complex PTSD and my childhood was abusive. I was never going to find it easy. Working on it!

35 before I got infront of someone who finally understood what was going on. Blamed myself that whole time.

SunnieShine · 20/01/2025 22:35

eqpi4t2hbsnktd · 20/01/2025 17:27

I went swimming the other day and all the 20-somethings had hairy armpits! I felt my smooth under arms aged me! rather wishes I had spidy pits.

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You'd still be the age if you had furry armpits. I don't like them myself.

StrawberryDream24 · 20/01/2025 22:33

Also that a boyfriend from a country notorious for visa seeking and scams suggested we had a baby together because he thought it would get him residence in the UK.

Likewise that said boyfriend could have been sabotaging contraception.

StrawberryDream24 · 20/01/2025 22:27

That my ex had had a dog put down and told me he'd rehomed it.

That the same ex, having been told that I shoplifted as a teen during a discussion about our youthful stupidity & bad behaviour - told his relatives that I was a thief, that I'd probably been stealing from him and that I might steal from them.

(At 36, with a professional job, mortgage etc.).

One of his relatives decided to stage a confrontation/intervention about it, which i was utterly bemused by at the time and didn't put together what it was until long after we'd finished.

CultTimes · 20/01/2025 22:02

That I was raised in a cult (not a commune).

Still trying to work out the different ways it has and is affecting me.

DoveLisand · 20/01/2025 21:56

brassandswitch · 20/01/2025 15:38

Best things come in small packages - was always told this as a child because I was abnormally small and still am 5ft 1. Made me more conscious about my height than anything else lol

@brassandswitch hey ! I am 5 foot and do not consider myself abnormally small !

be confident !

Rainbowx · 20/01/2025 21:53

No is a full sentence
Just because they're family doesn't mean u have to like/love them.

eqpi4t2hbsnktd · 20/01/2025 17:27

MissingSummertime · 20/01/2025 14:35

They are my lovely woolly leg warmers! Also we don’t have pets so you know, is nice to have a couple of furry friends about the place 🤪

Show quote history

I went swimming the other day and all the 20-somethings had hairy armpits! I felt my smooth under arms aged me! rather wishes I had spidy pits.

Original poster
Slowontheup · 20/01/2025 17:06

Hoppinggreen · 20/01/2025 16:50

Arm surgery?
In Brazil?

I've forgotten the details, think it may have been laser lipo or something! Either way really would have been easier to stop drinking 6 bottles of wine a week or whatever was considered the norm to "work hard play hard" in London corporate environments in my 20s

OP posts:
RabbitsRock · 20/01/2025 16:59

That for years I have been pushing down a lot of quite complex feelings that go right back to childhood - I had some counselling last year which was great as far as it went but I only really scratched the surface & definitely need to explore further. Pretty sure that’s partly why I used to drink too much & why I’m now relying on strong painkillers when physically they’re not necessary or at least not daily. Trying to numb the emotional pain I guess. “Tell me about your childhood” is such a cliche yet that time of our life is crucial in forming how we are as adults. Now my DM is very poorly with no chance of completely recovering, those feelings can be overwhelming ( some of how I feel is connected to her & I have never been able to properly talk to her about it because whenever I tried she would get too upset or deny there ever being a problem & now I still can’t talk about it because she is suffering from Parkinson’s related dementia) 😢 I’m hoping I can return to the counsellor I had before as she was absolutely lovely.

fairycakes1234 · 20/01/2025 16:54

If you don't know enough about something say nothing, got myself in a right muddle in work talking about policitics and everything I said was nearly wrong, blank expressions looking at me, a lot of vagueness and stutters from me, horrendous tea break😒

Hoppinggreen · 20/01/2025 16:50

Arm surgery?
In Brazil?

unsync · 20/01/2025 16:49

Good enough is good enough. Things don't have to be perfect.

JHound · 20/01/2025 16:34

That you can learn to love somebody. I always thought chemistry was instant and if not instant don’t bother.

heyhopotato · 20/01/2025 16:33

I only found out recently that Jeremy Vine and Alexander Armstrong are two different people.

ClawedButler · 20/01/2025 16:33

Took me WAY too long to realise that I don't have to worry whether people will like me or not - they either will or they won't.

Also, I learned a marvellous phrase on MN: you don't have to set yourself on fire to keep someone else warm. Steered me right many a time, that.

JimHalpertsWife · 20/01/2025 16:28

That people only really get pissed off with your boundaries because they are planning on crossing them

That you cannot trust your mind after 9pm. On anything. Wait til morning.

That even the most perfect person has flaws. No one is perfect.

SerafinasGoose · 20/01/2025 16:25
  1. The distinction between evil deeds and evil people does not necessarily hold true. Some people are psychopathic. They will cause you nothing but harm.
  1. Florentine biscuits do not come from Florence ☺️