Things it took you far to long to work out (or admit)

Well, it certainly does not apply to me and I am in various menopause support groups, and it’s NEVER been mentioned.
It was quite a sweeping statement.

That the way I react to things and my anxiety/depression/ beating myself up internally is because I had undiagnosed adhd

That marriage isn't always the best option for a woman, even if theyre planning to have kids.
I feel like it's pushed a lot for 'security' but I'm seeing increasing numbers of couples where the woman still earns more even though they're also doing more of the childcare.

I saw a colleague earning over twice (probably 3x) what her husband did fund the majority of their life for years and then support him through a degree with unsociable placement hours / locations that meant the majority of the childcare fell to her. Then he cheated on her and left, taking half the value of the house that he'd contributed very little to.

My marriage is fine and we don't intend to divorce but it brought home how much I'd lose out financially if we did. I've always been the higher earner despite taking a career hit for kids. I actually love being married from an emotional point of view but I do feel guilty because my kids have less security - we'd likely have to sell the house to divide the funds if we divorced, when I could have bought it alone.

Absolutely! We need to talk about money especially salaries to ensure we're getting equal and fair pay. So many companies I've worked for had a ban on employees discussing salaries. We need to be transparent.

That I'd suffered with anxiety for many years without realising what it was. A constant feeling like you're full of bees is the closest I can come to describing it. An internalised shaky feeling, or like an electrical current running through me.
One day I read an article where someone described her anxiety as feeling like a beehive, and then it just clicked.
I get occasional episodes of it now, but I'm better at controlling it and I usually know how to avoid the situations that cause it.

That and networking. Never realised in 40 decades of working that you're supposed to schmooze all the people you really can't stand in order to get on. I was never much good at hiding my distaste.

So what do you suggest people eat that isn’t effected by those things?

So why did you think they had different names?

Yea..I wish my mum knew this! 😊

I’m 65 and only a few months ago, I came to the realisation that I don’t have to shave my legs to go swimming at a health club. It turns out, no one looks and if someone does and has a negative thought about it, well that;s just none of my business 💪

Your own mother can lie to you, to your detriment. Took me years to suss that.

Same lol took me 27 year

That I've had SAD and anxiety since I was a child but had no idea. It took being medicated for PPA to realise that's what it was! I never knew life could be like this and it took 35-ish years to know!

Success isn’t equal to money or grade.

A night out is often more fun if you don’t stay until the bitter end. Recognise when you’ve “had your fun”.

Loud people can lack social skills as much as (more than?!) quieter people.

Just love that saying!

Having worked in one of these places for many years I know exactly where you're coming from. I can go off for a mere 15-week research sabbatical and when I return have to mug up on a whole new set of acronyms that have replaced the ones it took me two years to familiarise myself with in the first place. When I went off on maternity leave I left my department to come back to what felt like an entirely new department. It was unrecognisable! All the assessment regulations, procedures for creating new curricula, internal systems, marking procedures: you name it, they'd messed with it.

I'm sure these places employ little gremlins whose sole task it is to make our jobs hard!

And I'm with you on standards but make no mistake: those of the Russell Group are by no means better. Course requirements are less robust everywhere and so much of course content has been removed and replaced with shorter extracts and bulked out with study skills - ones which should already be prerequisites of higher education. Teaching students how to write, reference and construct arguments was not part of the deal of this job until very recently.

UKHE, it's safe to say, is not what it was.

Also things change from one year to the next within universities. When I was a degree student my Uni required a higher # of UCAS points for the subject than the more well known Russell Group Uni in the same town. The course I applied for also had vocational time in the local hospital. When we got to 2nd year however this had all changed, course requirements had been slashed and they no longer offered the vocational opportunities because "other students had failed to turn up in years gone by". I would have been far better off going with my gut to the Russell Group Uni instead of miserably wondering how people who could barely write were getting 2:1.

I am post menopause too, no difference for me, I must be in the 15%.

That Madagascar is actually a place not just a cartoon film

One that seems obvious once you know, but I still think isn’t that widely known - a lot of the dire spelling and grammar in scam emails is deliberate. Yes, some of it is down to non-native English speakers, but there’s also a deliberate strategy behind it in many cases. Wheedle out the people who think it’s normal for Visa or Apple to address you as “most dear valued customer” (and to spell Apple with the L at the end) and you have a much smaller audience, but one you already know is pretty gullible - meaning it’s worth investing time and effort in continuing with the scam.

When a guy winks at you - he likes you or feels sorry for you. I've settled on the latter!

Not everyone will like you and that's ok.

Not disappear but reduce, apparently. I hadn’t heard of this either but a quick Google reveals it’s true 🙈

It’s all of that and more, unfortunately:

How is vaginal atrophy (GSM) diagnosed?
A healthcare provider can diagnose vaginal atrophy based on your symptoms and a pelvic exam to look at your vagina and cervix. Classic signs of atrophy during a pelvic exam include:

• A shortened or narrowed vagina.
• Dryness, redness and swelling.
• Loss of stretchiness.
• Whitish discoloration to your vagina.
• Vulvar skin conditions, vulvar lesions and/or vulvar patch redness.
• Minor cuts (lacerations) near your vaginal opening.
• Decrease in size of the labia

source: https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/15500-vaginal-atrophy

She replied upthread about the lunch hour house purchase...certainly caught my attention

Vaginal atrophy refers to dryness and the lining of the vagina. Not the disappearance of the inner labia.
Ffs 🤦‍♀️