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AIBU?

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Original poster

I don't know how to have a normal life

112 replies

babasaclover · 20/01/2025 14:00

I have been incredibly depressed. Even getting up and showering / eating / drinking water has been like a marathon.

I've recently come out of that somewhat and being able to get myself back on track, I've started going to the gym and it has helped the mood exponentially. So now I'm in limbo and not living a 'normal' life. I go to the gym / swim and then when I get home I simply wander the house unsure what to do with the day. I do the housework washing etc but it's not enough I'm wasting the weekend. Tbh I'm wasting my evenings too.

Can you help me structure a day please? What things should I be doing? Appreciate the weather is rough but I can't simply hibernate until spring.

I had an awful upbringing. AIBU to think I can ever trust my own judgement to know what is normal?

OP posts:
Original poster
babasaclover · 20/01/2025 14:22

Anonym00se · 20/01/2025 14:19

It sounds like you’re scared to relax and do nothing because you’re scared of getting ‘stuck’ again and equate it with being ill. What do you do to rest and relax?

Yes exactly that! I'm also scared to not go to the gym cause I fear I'll be out of that routine and it's helping so much.

Literally if not work (from home so able to hide a lot of the depressive traits) I'm on sofa watching tv. It can't be the best use of my time.

OP posts:
loropianalover · 20/01/2025 14:21

There’s nothing you ‘should’ be doing. You can try out different things to see what you enjoy doing.

Sign up for the library and take out some books, do some baking, watch a show or documentary, go to the cinema, go out to the shops, get your nails done, join a book club or art class, volunteer, get a gold fish, pick up knitting or crocheting, get a Lego set or a jigsaw, do Wordle or times crossword, cook something new from scratch, get a colouring book, do a night course, go for a walk, do Yoga, call family or friends, de-clutter, go to antique sales or look around charity shops, visit a local cafe, paint…

southpawsofthenorth · 20/01/2025 14:21

When you say you are wasting your weekends and days what do you mean? Are you bored or just feel you should be doing something?

Original poster
babasaclover · 20/01/2025 14:20

TomatoSandwiches · 20/01/2025 14:03

I didn't want to read and run, I can't help right now but wanted to reassure you that you're not alone and how positive it is for you to ask for help x

Thanks so much. It's taken a lot to manage to write this post

OP posts:
Anonym00se · 20/01/2025 14:19

It sounds like you’re scared to relax and do nothing because you’re scared of getting ‘stuck’ again and equate it with being ill. What do you do to rest and relax?

Cansomeone · 20/01/2025 14:19

Its good you're getting out to the gym but it sounds like you now need to become at ease with your own company. Could you take yourself round Hobbycraft and pick up a kit or whatever takes your fancy and learn a new skill just for fun?

lifeturnsonadime · 20/01/2025 14:18

babasaclover · 20/01/2025 14:16

I work full time so those hours are accounted for - it's more like I don't know what to do when not on the clock if you see what I mean. Technically I'm free so I should be doing something with my time?

Show quote history

It read as though you might not.

How about reading? Crafting? Taking up a new social sport? A lot of cricket clubs are starting women's soft ball teams that are friendly.

Don't forget that having downtime is absolutely fine and normal.

Original poster
babasaclover · 20/01/2025 14:16

HoppingPavlova · 20/01/2025 14:04

If you work it provides a good structure to your day.

I agree I would be lost without work.

I work full time so Monday to Friday are mostly dealt with bar evenings.

OP posts:
Original poster
babasaclover · 20/01/2025 14:16

lifeturnsonadime · 20/01/2025 14:02

Do you or can you work OP?

I work full time so those hours are accounted for - it's more like I don't know what to do when not on the clock if you see what I mean. Technically I'm free so I should be doing something with my time?

OP posts:
HoppingPavlova · 20/01/2025 14:04

If you work it provides a good structure to your day.

TomatoSandwiches · 20/01/2025 14:03

I didn't want to read and run, I can't help right now but wanted to reassure you that you're not alone and how positive it is for you to ask for help x

lifeturnsonadime · 20/01/2025 14:02

Do you or can you work OP?