I don't know how to have a normal life

Well you need to learn how to relax then. It's bizarre you never mentioned your DH and child in your first post though!

what did you used to enjoy,? I am saying "used to" because I am sensing that your low mood is sapping your energy both mental and physical. I think (and please feel free to disagree with me) that when we are very down and low it affects our motivation and concentration profoundly. I know that when I am struggling with my mood I cannot focus on a book and I am a usually an avid reader. Thati is just one example and of course personal to me so may not be relevant to you One thing I always do at the end of each day is mentally tick off what I have achieved,, be that washing my hair, hoovering, chatting with a friend. You are already doing so much, working and exercising, Be proud if yourself, Best wishes

Dunno, your day off sounds like my Winter day off really. I don't really see anything wrong with a bit of Winter hibernation. I do some indoor workouts, bit of cooking, tidying, admin. I quite enjoyed it yesterday.

This.

I know how the black pit of depression feels, but a little fluffy friend can really help.

Get a National Trust membership. Even if you don't 'enjoy it'. Get up, have breakfast, go to the gym, come home and shower and then go to a national trust, walk round the gardens, grab a little lunch and then walk round the countryside, go home, do 15 minutes of learning a language on Duolingo, cook a meal from scratch and then watch a film.

Repeat, repeat, repeat, one day you'll have the idea, I'd rather go to the cinema than a NT, fine, but replace an activity with an activity. And then learn what you like. Duolingo is great for little wins, and accomplishments, and I pick mine up whenever I have a free 5 minutes to stop my mind spiralling.

@babasaclover You don't 'need' to he doing anything useful with your free time. Sitting on your phone when your dc is at a club is completely fine! You're allowed to just be.

But if you want to have a new way of looking at life, here's what i do (might sound a bit silly for some)..
For example a few years ago i wanted to get into running. I never enjoyed it before, but i decided that's what i needed to do for my health. So i started to tell myself, I'm the kind of person who gets home from work, changes into running gear and does a quick run. I kept on telling myself that story. And i started to run, and then i started to enjoy it, and now im really into it!
Another one.. In the beginning of 2025, i decided i needed to use my time better and stop procrastinating. So now i tell myself im the type of person who gets things done. And so far so good 😄 My house is a lot tidier, im dedicating a bit more time for my side hustle, ive baked etc.. I think its kind of positive brain washing!

You are doing so well just keeping up with work and the gym. Don’t overwhelm yourself by trying to add too many things. Choose some relaxing things to do! I don’t have depression but at times quite crippling medicated anxiety and I like reading, cross stitch and jigsaws to keep my mind distracted and feel like I am doing something productive when I am actually sat down 😂 Feels more useful than watching TV although obviously there is nothing wrong that as an option!

Literally if not work (from home so able to hide a lot of the depressive traits) I'm on sofa watching tv. It can't be the best use of my time.

or, as your drips confirm, driving your children to clubs and after school activities; cooking the evening meal for your husband and DC

That's what a lot of people do. Especially at this time of year. It's what I do every night from 5 till about 10 when I go to bed. If it's making you unhappy that's different. Read a book. Learn a language, new hobby?

please don't tell people to get pets...any pets... unless they really want a pet and are prepared to keep it and care for it properly for the whole of that pet's life.

so odd not to mention your young DC in op

so odd

I’ll leave you to it

But she’s a young children according op…. All these club taking up all your evenings? And presumably you’re with her for some of them?

Where would your DC and husband feature in this routine?

So you also cook the evening meal for them both after working full time
presumably oversee homework, bathtime, bedtime occasionally

how come all this free time doing nothing?!

She has lots of clubs / interests / activities and I happily drive her to them / attend where necessary or sit in car when not needed like dance classes.

So you work full time
you gym
you have young DC that you parent
and you’re married

I’m baffled about all this empty routine-less time you have

Surely with young DC you have a routine enforced on you by their very existence

or is your husband doing dinner, bath, bed etc

Op you don’t mention you’re married with young DC in your OP

how come?

surely relevant if you say you can’t do anything other than sit on sofa after work

Would you feel comfortable joining a dating site or an evening college class? Ask someone from the gym if they wanted a coffee (male of female). Sorry if you don't feel ready for this yet or confident too ( i wouldn't).

I know this will sound silly but.....
Have you had any blood tests.
I was feeling quite low once upon a time.
I got blood tests and I was vitamin D Insufficient, & folate
The GP said this can have disastrous effects on your mood and no wonder I was feeling so low.
They don't test for vitamin D levels usually in the UK as almost everyone is deficient.

Insufficient and deficient are different levels of low.

Mine were almost non existent.
Also had a friend, she was almost diagnosed with post natal depression, she was actually low on folate.

I ended up vit D deficient the following year so now I'm constantly on a Vit D tablet