To think couples who can’t afford IVF shouldn’t try to crowdfund it?

Looking at all of OP responses I definately think it's AI, something strange about the same response over and over.

This.

You don’t want to donate? Then don’t. Some people may want to.

I am sure the couple would rather not be broadcasting the fact they need help with funding IVF, but feel they have no other choice.

OP you are being very unfair.

Would you be able to come up with £5,000? £10,000 up front several times? It certainly is the added unfairness that not only do I have to save several thousands that fertile people don't have to in order to get pregnant AND then pay for all the child needs as well.

I don't see why not. No one is forced to contribute.

I’d be happy to donate to someone I know who was facing an infertility battle. If people don’t want to donate, they don’t have to.

Many fertile couples have kids naturally and can’t necessarily afford it, also, the cost of kids is stretched over many years, it’s not one upfront cost, the average cost of raising a child in the UK is £200,000. Could you afford to pay that upfront?

If people want to give, why would it bother anyone.

I agree with this, if someone can’t get IVF on the NHS for whatever reason and want to crowd fund to be able to afford it then they should, no one is forced to donate to them. Parents bang on about how amazing it is being a parent all the time but then criticise people who can’t naturally become one for whatever reason

YABU, people can crowd fund for whatever they want, and people are welcome to contribute or not, it’s up to them

I don't see the issue. If you don't agree with it, don't donate. It's that simple.

Nobody has to give.
I really don’t think anybody who wanted a child and has conceived naturally has any right at all to criticise IVF.

You’re not obliged to cough up you know.

I think most crowd-funders are pretty tacky and inappropriate.

But if people's friends want to help them I don't see that as wrong in itself.

Some people don’t seem to understand the £5000 a cycle is just an average. It isn’t abnormal to need to spend up to £10000 a cycle (needing a very high med dose, if you have any to freeze, if you need PGTA testing, Emma/Alice testing etc etc etc). Plus the fact that the average person apparently needs at least 3 cycles to have success (the reason the NHS is ideally supposed to offer 3 cycles). Well, even with payment plans etc - I love the idea that most people can easily find up to £30000 at sometimes relatively short notice (even a year can sometimes make a huge difference in fertility terms).

Tbh I don’t blame people for trying their luck crowdfunding for IVF - and it’s easy enough to ignore if you don’t like it imo.

This is such a shitty argument.

Fertile couples don't have to demonstrate that they are solvent before they TTC.

I agree- IVF is such a small fraction of the cost of raising a child. If you can’t afford that, what makes you think you can afford a child?
unfortunately people have no shame these days.
there’s this person in one of my FB groups who thinks raising her kids is a crowd funding exercise - for the last 2.5 yrs almost daily she posts about needing something to be gifted to her. Every few months she needs gender reveal and/ or baby shower stuff for her new pregnancy. 🤦🏻‍♀️lady all I’d give to you is a jumbo box of condoms at this point.

I can't see why anyone else cares. It must be hard enough to be struggling with fertility, without judgement.

I’m afraid I agree on the “deserve” note. Nobody deserves children, only children deserve good parents. Deserving something doesn’t mean you have a right to it. I deserve a million quid but sometimes life is tough shit and I ain’t gonna get what I deserve

And FWIW I do think the NHS should fund IVF cycles under certain conditions and I k ow the place lottery is v frustrating. However it doesn’t take away from the fact that having a baby is a choice not an entitlement and should the NHS ever get to being on the bones of its arse, enabling lifestyle choices should be the first things to go (after middle managers!)

I dislike the culture of crowdfunding. I actively give to charitable causes such as when a child needs better prosthetics than what the NHS gives them. My own DS has a chronic condition that is super rare but I always donate to causes that link to research around the organ in which he suffers with. But the thought of crowdfunding for lifestyle choices deeply grates on me. And shame on the people giving when they could instead give to much more worthy causes that aren’t lifestyle choices.

People shouldn't be ashamed of infertility. It's no more personal to say "we want to do ivf" then announcing you are pregnant naturally and everyone knowing you shagged your husband three months ago!

I personally think it's pretty sad people are reduced to crowd funding. I think everyone under 40 should get 3 nhs rounds for up to 2 children. I know lots of people will say the NHS can't afford it but there are many more expensive medical procedures and those children will pay for our pensions.

People can ask for what they like. No one is forced to give.
As for it being private. Why should it have to be?
I've been through 2 cycles of IVF and it didn't work. I chose to stop. I made peace with that decision a long time ago. A relative of mine has just been through several more cycles than i did and now has a beautiful baby. She was totally open about this as when she was heartbroken when it didn't work on more than one occasion so it was easier if people knew what was going on. It's not a taboo subject.
As for the poster who says if you can't afford it you can't afford children I've just looked it up and it averages getting on for 5k per cycle. How many people with kids just have a spare 5k lying around? But they can afford kids. And don't forget the statistics. How many go on to have several cycles?
OP the title of your post says they shouldn't try to crowd fund it but in another post you say you're not against it.
I do hope no one is reading through this and having their failed attempt at having a much wanted and longed for child put in the same category as a dream wedding! How insensitive!
I'm not a fan of crowdfunding but give me one for IVF over someone who didn't take out travel insurance any day.

Some people don't have 12 months.

There are lots of payment plan options for IVF now so I'd be concerned if you can't spend 12 months saving £300 a month or more how you would fund a drop to one wage in the event of being a STAHP or cost of childcare which is going to be in excess of that

It can be used for male infertility too, when it is called (IVF with) ICSI, when the sperm is injected directly into the ovum, as opposed to leaving them together in a petri dish overnight, basically. It's useful for men with low sperm counts and other problems.