To think couples who can’t afford IVF shouldn’t try to crowdfund it?

Very well said. Why should people crowded for repatriation, fir example, just because they haven't bothered to take out travel insurance or lied on their application?

As someone who has two children through IVF I feel deeply privileged that we were in a position to be able to afford to go through three rounds of IVF plus surgery for my husband and multiple embryo transfers to get to where we are now.
We regularly discuss how hard it must be for people who do not have enough disposable income to be able to afford the incredibly high costs of fertility treatment.
It was impossible for us to have a family without IVF due to the nature of our diagnosis - no "accidental babies" or "just relax" would have worked, so I can absolutely see that for people in our situation who are not financially well off, crowdfunding would feel like perhaps their only option. And why should we gatekeep that? Having children is of course not an essential part of life, but one that is rich, joyous and fulfilling and I would have been devastated to miss out on had I been unable to afford the exorbitant costs.

To be in a position to critique this is very lucky. To have lived it is agonising and I could never judge anyone for asking for help when you never know if it will work out for you.

Crowdfunding doesn’t need to be fair. If you don’t want to contribute, don’t. It’s a weird thought that you get to police what people can crowdfund for and what they can’t.

Well the OP clearly has an ignorant attitude and I just saw the post. Was your response to me really worth it?

Was it really worth bumping a nine month old thread to say that?

Where does “deserve” come into it? Is it only rich people who deserve to feed their kids better quality food?

Having a child isn’t a basic human right

So only rich people deserve fertility treatment 😒

I agree it's personal choice and it's also not a right.

So I do not contribute to such crowd funders. But people are free to contribute if they wish.

Yes, sorry @Katie323 I think I quoted the wrong person. It was a general point really about infertility is not something to ignore or shrug shoulders about. VF treatments can sometimes, not always, contribute to researching causes and treatments for infertility. And I agree nothing wrong with crowdfunding for it

it doesn't bother me. it's down to donors whether to donate or not, and a lot of people will want to help others.
it's not something I would donate for, but it's personal choice. I'm not offended by it. I know it means a lot to people to get it, and if others want to help them achieve that, so be it.

Im confused by this reply. I do not think its odd to ask for help with ivf this way or whichever way, awful that people even need to have to. Dont know were i have said that?

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The issue I have with the “infertility is a medical problem therefore should be treated” is that doing nothing about the medical problem only results in not being able to have a baby. A baby is not a human right, therefore I don’t think it’s any more or less worthy than say plastic surgery. It’s entirely different to crowdfunding for life saving treatment

Obstetricians and gynaecologists always point out that human beings ae designed to reproduce. If either the man or the woman is infertile this is a sign that something is amiss medically and needs investigating and where possible treating to rectify the problem,. More money for research into infertility is needed as many cases - male and female remain unexplained. Seeking help with funding IVF treatment is an entirely reasonable thing to do, and as pp have said, people can choose to give money, donate eggs or sperm, whatever. It is not an odd thing to ask for help in this way

No one is forced to donate to Crowd funding requests therefore it's up to the person choosing to donate towards IVF if they want to contribute or not. I think if a couple are desperate to have a baby then they'll go to any lengths to succeed. Good luck to them.

Or are able to save £300 per month. What an absurd middle class comment to make...

I thought that. Either OP has no understanding and experience of infertility or has and had to pay for it herself. Im failing to understand why they would have a problem with it.

Having a baby is very different to crowdfunding for plastic surgery. Clearly the OP hasn’t struggled with infertility and doesn’t understand how heartbreaking it is. IVF is extremely expensive and out of reach to many. If others are happy to help, what’s the problem?

I don't get why wanting children is a deeply private and personal matter?

Nor do I get why IVF is so private?

OP did you do through IVF? Is a family member or close friend going through it?

You seem quite uncomfortable around it since you keep saying it blurs the lines. I don't understand why?

Id donate to a couple for ivf rather than some other things people appeal for. Infertility is heartbreaking for people.

You think they want to?! Do you think that putting your personal affairs out there so publicly is easy? It is unfair that anyone is in a position whereby they have to pay thousands and thousands of pounds to achieve something which comes so easily for the majority. That is the first pill that is hard to swallow. The desperation that leads people to publicly appeal for money to help them have a baby is heartbreaking.

We had IVF, we were fortunate, we had the funds for one round and it worked first time (we didn't qualify for NHS). I know of others who have had 4,5, 6 rounds, long exhausting the number of rounds you get on the NHS, and still have no baby. They are desperate, they are exhausted, they are devastated. So no, I wont judge them for trying any means necessary to get their much longed for baby.

Why should IVF be a private matter, it's not a taboo subject? Yes having a baby for most is a personal choice. However, for some of us, it isn't actually a choice in the same way as it is for others, it comes with putting your heart and your finances on the line over and over again. People shouldn't be shamed into not sharing their story or appealing for help with their struggles for fear of making the fortunate majority uncomfortable. No one is forcing anyone to donate to crowdfunding or gofundme pages, if you don't want to donate, then don't, but I cannot understand how on earth there is ANYTHING wrong with people trying? There are no blurred lines here, wanting a child, something which most people can have without much effort, is in NO WAY the same as wanting an extravagant holiday or a wedding.

Pick on the people who decide to risk not getting travel insurance and then crowdfund to pay their extortionate medical bill, not the people who are desperate for a baby. Jesus Christ.

How ridiculous. A naturally conceived baby won’t cost £20k in one go. Who do you know saves 18 years cash before they TTC?

Oh for heavens sake, people crowdfund for all kinds of things including skin removal after weight loss etc. The chance for an otherwise childless couple to be able to afford IVF via the help of others who WANT to help, is perfectly reasonable. You don't think so? Don't donate. You feel irritated by it? Look away. You think it's unreasonable? Tough. I think your attitude is unreasonable but here we are. I don't expect you to suddenly develop some compassion because I feel that way.

Daft thread.

No one is forced to contribute to a crowdfunder...

Your thesis smacks of someone who thinks that only the wealthy should have kids.