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AIBU?

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Original poster

To not replace the bottle of wine?

254 replies

foreveralmost · 20/01/2025 10:34

I live with two other housemates, one stored a bottle of wine in side door of the fridge. As I opened the fridge it fell out and smashed.

I didn’t open the fridge roughly, I opened it normally, She saw me do it. I obviously cleaned it up and apologised - but I was just the unlucky one who happened to open the fridge.

She has now text me to say could I pick her up a new bottle on the way home ..

OP posts:
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MontyDonsBlueScarf · 21/01/2025 15:52

People seem to be confusing fault and responsibility.

If you were sitting on the other side of the room when the door opened and the wine fell out, you are neither at fault nor responsible.

If you opened the door and the wine fell out you are not at fault but you are responsible. The person who left it in an unsafe place is not responsible but is at fault.

Whether the person who is just responsible should pay up depends on how daft it was for the person at fault to have acted like that in the first place. Just crammed in, unbalanced, unsupported, so it was an accident waiting to happen, they should pay themself. Left securely, they should share the cost.

Sixtop · 21/01/2025 14:19

cordiallyuninvited · 21/01/2025 14:02

I realise I am making an example of you here but there are many, many more people who say things like this and it confuses me.

Why would having a small problem like this mean that it is 'all (the hypothetical) OP has to worry about'?
It could be, of course but alternatively, it could be that there are a lot of far, far bigger things going on and something like this is just pushing them over the edge? Or that the OP's life is very difficult and having one more little thing to do is the last straw?

Again, using this post as an example, just something I notice on MN a lot and never understand.

Show quote history

Because the OP’s quarrelsome manner and snippy responses on here suggest she’s not someone massively stressed by ongoing life situations and for whom this was the last straw in a difficult week, or the victim of a pattern of bullying by the wine-owning housemate, just someone difficult looking for the internet to pile on and agree her housemate was unreasonable and that whoever’s fault it is, she’s not replacing the wine?

I mean, I don’t think it’s that mysterious.

cordiallyuninvited · 21/01/2025 14:02

MyDeftDuck · 20/01/2025 11:56

Considering that there is potential blame on both parts - the housemate who owns the wine didn't put it in the fridge safely and you, OP, for physically opening said fridge door - why not meet each other half way and pay for a new bottle between you?? Sorted.

And actually, if all you have to worry about in life is a bottle of wine perhaps your third housemate might like you other two to pack your bags and find somewhere else to live OR grow up and start behaving like adults and stop bickering!!!

I realise I am making an example of you here but there are many, many more people who say things like this and it confuses me.

Why would having a small problem like this mean that it is 'all (the hypothetical) OP has to worry about'?
It could be, of course but alternatively, it could be that there are a lot of far, far bigger things going on and something like this is just pushing them over the edge? Or that the OP's life is very difficult and having one more little thing to do is the last straw?

Again, using this post as an example, just something I notice on MN a lot and never understand.

Katie323 · 21/01/2025 01:30

I wouldnt expect my flatmate to pay for it if i saw it was an accident. Same like when my friend wanted to her phone in my bag when we were both drunk in pub. Obviously been drunk dropped my bag down some stairs 🤣 smashed the phone. My friend said it was an accident didnt expect me to replace it as it was her who chose to put it in unsafe place.

southpawsofthenorth · 21/01/2025 00:01

Tink3rbell30 · 20/01/2025 17:53

Yes I didn't think basic manners would need too much explaining 😳

Just as well as your not actually managing to explain it 😂

Quittingforlosers · 20/01/2025 20:06

valentinka31 · 20/01/2025 19:34

yes buy one.

She's your housemate.

Be nice.

But it’s not her fault! She had no way of knowing what was the fridge until she opened it. It’s basically Schrödinger’s fridge at this point.

Unless OP was the one who put it in there at a stupid angle, it’s not on her. The fact she cleaned it up was the nice thing to do. She doesn’t need to do anything beyond that.

valentinka31 · 20/01/2025 19:34

yes buy one.

She's your housemate.

Be nice.

XWKD · 20/01/2025 17:56

If you just opened the door normally and a bottle of wine fell out, it's not your fault.

You do NOT need to replace it.

Quittingforlosers · 20/01/2025 17:54

Of course you shouldn’t pay. Madness. All the people that are insisting she should pay: what should she have done differently, prior to opening the fridge?

Tink3rbell30 · 20/01/2025 17:53

Yes I didn't think basic manners would need too much explaining 😳

southpawsofthenorth · 20/01/2025 17:49

Tink3rbell30 · 20/01/2025 17:45

I did.

So you explained why it’s good manners to replace something that falls out the fridge when you open the door?

Tink3rbell30 · 20/01/2025 17:45

I did.

southpawsofthenorth · 20/01/2025 17:22

Tink3rbell30 · 20/01/2025 16:49

Of course it is, I'd replace it without question. She's trying so much to justify being awkward and not replacing.

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You haven’t answered my question.

pimplebum · 20/01/2025 17:19

we all took the time to reply to your oust
having read your snide evasive and rude replies my advice has changed

stick to your guns and refuse to replace the fancy wine
enjoy your evening !

dynamiccactus · 20/01/2025 17:02

I do think it's a bit odd to expect the OP to replace it.

To take a different example, if my DH put something in a cupboard and it falls out and lands on my head when I open the cupboard door in a very normal way, that's my fault?

I can't see how it's "basic manners" to replace something when it isn't your fault.

However, buying a bottle of wine and sharing it seems like a good option as I said upthread.

Tink3rbell30 · 20/01/2025 16:49

southpawsofthenorth · 20/01/2025 16:45

Why is it basic manners to replace something that fell out of the fridge when she opened it? Presumably if her friend opened the fridge instead the bottle would still have fallen out.

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Of course it is, I'd replace it without question. She's trying so much to justify being awkward and not replacing.

southpawsofthenorth · 20/01/2025 16:45

Tink3rbell30 · 20/01/2025 16:13

Basic manners. The lengths OP is going to to avoid replacing is embarrassing, she can't have too much going on for this to be made a massive fuss.

Why is it basic manners to replace something that fell out of the fridge when she opened it? Presumably if her friend opened the fridge instead the bottle would still have fallen out.

Tink3rbell30 · 20/01/2025 16:13

Basic manners. The lengths OP is going to to avoid replacing is embarrassing, she can't have too much going on for this to be made a massive fuss.

southpawsofthenorth · 20/01/2025 16:11

Tink3rbell30 · 20/01/2025 15:47

Of course you should replace it.

Why?

Tink3rbell30 · 20/01/2025 15:47

Of course you should replace it.

Polkadotbabushka · 20/01/2025 15:44

foreveralmost · 20/01/2025 12:56

I will never reveal the price of the wine.

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Which just shows you posted for attention and need to get a grip.

Cabinqueen · 20/01/2025 15:23

So, did you get a bottle of £5, £10, £15 (delete as appropriate) to replace during your lunch break?

DownThePubWithStevieNicks · 20/01/2025 14:58

OP steadfastly refusing to say how much a replacement will cost suggest it is either:

  • A tenner, and OP is skint and/or ridiculously petty
  • 90 quid, and OP is skint and/or shameless
CorduroySituation · 20/01/2025 14:54

Trumptonagain · 20/01/2025 11:20

Replace it, even if to show willing.

But....put a post it note on the outside of the fridge door open with caution, possibly a bottle of wine been positioned in a stupid place side of door

Passive aggressive Award of the Week.

WolfFoxHare · 20/01/2025 14:42

Catza · 20/01/2025 13:19

They wouldn't store it in domestic fridge in either case. That's what wine fridges are for. My comment about your level of maturity stands.

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Many people, even people who buy expensive wine sometimes, don't have wine fridges! It's not a given.

I do want to know how expensive the wine was, though.

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