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Original poster

To worry about friend's weight loss?

53 replies

Annabel28 · 20/01/2025 09:35

I'll try to keep this as brief as I can - keen for this not to descend into a pro vs anti-weight loss jabs type thread but I could really do with some advice.

I have a good friend who I've known since school. We both went separate ways (geographically) after university but have always stayed in touch and I really like her and care about her. She's had some difficult experiences in life and I'm glad that I've been able to be there for her in the past.

In the last few years she gained quite a bit of weight - always assumed this was related to having kids etc. but it was a substantial amount, she told me her BMI hit 40 and she was starting to avoid walking places because it was becoming uncomfortable. In April she decided to start weight loss jabs privately which she gets from an online pharmacy. She started to lose weight rapidly and would send me a lot of photos of her journey/progress. I was initially really supportive of this journey because I've seen so many people (including family members) struggle with the health consequences of obesity and traditional diet/exercise methods just haven't worked. However she's 9-10 months in to treatment and to be honest I'm a bit staggered by the amount of weight loss. She's gone from a BMI of just over 40 to a BMI of 20 in this period (don't know in kg because she only shares her BMI with me). She is still taking/accessing the weight loss jabs and says she needs to continue them. She seems happy but almost hooked on losing more weight.

Slight disclaimer here - I am a mental health professional by background and if anyone had lost this % of weight over that time period by dieting I would be assuming they had entered eating disorder territory (this is an area I work with and know a lot about). Although my friend is delighted by her weight loss she still seems to view herself as "a fat person" and still seems driven to lose more. I really don't know where this is going to end and she's reluctant to talk about the more emotional aspects of the weight loss.

Is it normal/reasonable for her to still be on medication even though she's a normal BMI? What would be the standard protocol?

For people on this medication, how have you coped with the psychological affects of so much weight loss and is there anything I should be doing/saying to support my friend?

TBH I'm a bit disturbed that so many private companies sending these medications out don't seem to offer concurrent psychological support but I suppose there are cost issues and ultimately their first priority is profit, not the consumer's wellbeing.

OP posts:
TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams · 20/01/2025 09:55

I'm flirting with the idea of starting these as I have put a huge amount of weight on after an injury and that combined with menopause means that I am not losing any weight at all, so have been following a number of threads. What happens when you lose the weight seems to be quite a grey area

  1. Stop injections and put some / a lot of weight back on.
  2. Move to a maintenance dose, very low dosage ......for Life.....

A BMI of 20 is obviously firmly in the low end of the healthy range so she must be feeling hugely better. In such a short time frame though I imagine that a) she has little confidence in herself that she could "go it alone" and b) if she hasn't in tandem been exercising and lifting weights, she is probably not very toned and therefore doesn't feel terribly thin/attractive as yet.

As her friend with a background in supporting eating disorders, are you physically close enough to her to offer support with lifestyle changes - an active holiday, a Pilates or yoga retreat holiday, ask her to virtually partner you on Bodycoach or similar? If she builds confidence in her physical appearance that may help with moving to 2 and then 1 on a sustainable basis?

Genuinely interested in others thoughts as I the one thing that is putting me off right now is the lack of an exit plan.

20bloodypounds · 20/01/2025 09:54

Some private prescribers stop prescribing as soon as people reach a 'healthy' BMI of 24.9, others will continue prescribing until people are in the mid-range of a healthy BMI, 22 or 23.

Beyond that, there are individual discussions about maintaining that weight, either with or without continued medication. Your friend could be on a continued prescription to maintain her weight loss but I don't think there are any prescribers who would support a weight loss to BMI 20 or less.

Many of the private prescribers do have support teams / coaches etc, some are better than others. My friend who was given an NHS prescription had zero psychological support.

It is difficult when you have been overweight, particulalry those who have had weight problems since childhood or adolescence. So many of us have a warped perception of how we look. Also, depending on age / lifestyle / exercise you can lose weight attain a healthy BMI but still have areas of fat - e.g. on your lower belly.

Is your friend eating healthily? Lots of veg, not much UPF? Is she exercising to build / maintain muscle? I would encourage her to do that so she is focussing on living a healthy lifestyle, rather than pounds or inches. Can you ask what their goals are now that they are a healthy weight, or whether they have a weight range that they will be happy within. Some people have a 7 pound window that allows flexibility.

Agix · 20/01/2025 09:51

I read that when you're taking the jabs, you lose your appetite so completely that they have to tell you to make sure you aim to eat one full meal a day.

When I was only eating only one full meal a day, they told me at the ED clinic it still wasn't enough to keep me healthy and made me eat more to avoid in-patient. I had been diagnosed with anorexia. And yes, I had started out morbidly obese.

The amount of rage is huge. Doctors made me get fat again (I'm a size 14 from their stupid maintenance guidance, would be bigger if I hadn't jacked it in when I did) but NOW companies are allowed to accept payment from people for a jab that makes them eat like I did when I got diagnosed. Eat the way I was told not to. Eat the way I was when I had to have blood test every week an threatened with in patient treatment because I was still sick and not eating enough.

Why are they allowed to do it but I'm not? Oh yeah, because they're paying for it and I can do it for free. Being able to starve yourself without paying 100s a month is bad, but need help to do it then you can buy the privilege for a premium!

I'm so angry about it. I never wanted to regain weight. At least not more than 18.5 BMI, but they made me. I have severe body dysmorphia now. Blood tests every week to show me how "unwell" I was from the starvation. Is that not a problem for these people too? Apparently not. They're allowed to do it... Because they're paying for it.

But, as I said before if anyone questions my weightloss and eating behaviours this time, I can just lie and say I'm on the jab. No one will bat an eyelid if they think I'm paying to be this way.

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