Husband talks non stop about his interests and it’s killing me - AIBU?

You need to raise this issue with him before he starts his monologue and explain that while you understand he has found a subject that heavily interests him, it does not interest you, and him spending an hour telling you about it will be a waste of his own energy.
That way, he can’t get annoyed at you for ‘interrupting’ his speech!

He’s being really selfish. This sounds like absolute hell and pretty messed up to be guilt-tripping you for not paying keen attention for 37 hours straight. What a knob.

My DD15 is awaiting asd assessment. She loves sharks. I don't. I listen to bits here & there but it's minutes. I explain that not everyone has the same interests and so it's not something I am willing to listen to for ages (me/CFS so also struggle to concentrate). I explain it's not to offend/hurt her feelings. We are very self aware of our ND traits & accept that we don't need to inflict ourselves on everyone constantly lol I personally talk alot & am aware people need a break from my constant chat.

I would suggest he finds a friend with similar interests. DD loves talking to her bf about sharks & he talks back about something of his interest 😂

Or maybe he can make a PowerPoint & share it, say once a week or month. We have a friend who loves Victorian houses. He makes slides & shares with the group. No one else likes Victorian houses much but we like our friend so watch the PP every so often

It's ironic that he's so interested in the brain but doesn't realise the difficulties your ND brain has concentrating on something which isn't your special interest. Maybe he could research ADHD brain type while he is at it 🤣

Start telling him

'You know how the brain is one of your special interests?

Well as you know I'm ADHD and this means that my brain works like this (insert brief summary) and I can only process so much information at a time.

Beyond X minutes of new information, my (insert relevant brain bit) goes into overwhelm with too much processing - and causes shutdown.

In future, I need you to summarise your new information into a five minute piece that I CAN process.

IF I require more information - I'll ask.'

Then if he does it again

'As I told you, my brain cannot process more than a certain amount of information.

I know you don't INTEND to cause me overload and overwhelm - but that is the effect.

Give me a five minute summary.'

He's a dentist, a scientist who routinely does horrible things to frightened people every day. (I do often wonder about surgeons in general ...)

Present him with the science, not the emotion.

I have a similar situation with my teenage some currently. He has just started University but is doing this about his new found interests.

Because she’s said she doesn’t want to upset him. If she was happy to ‘say it straight’ I guess she wouldn’t have come here asking for ideas about how to manage it.

I like that!

I'd give him ten minutes then say "How interesting!" and get on with your book.

My husband and I shout UNSUBSCRIBE if one of us has gone on too long about a subject the other has no interest in 😅

I've told him he can give me a 5 min spiel max on Crypto and in exchange I'll limit my info dumping to the same time limit.

Might be worth having a chat about expectations and just let him know that your brain can only handle x mins, but you're happy to hear the crib notes version of what he's been reading about.

Mine can do this but he is aware and will make the effort to restrict it and to reciprocate. But when he has been a bit shirty in the past, because I haven’t been interested, we have had to have a chat. I make the point that I don’t talk to him about my special interest- beyond an occasional five minutes- because he really doesn’t want to know, he couldn’t care less- and he shows me that if i try to! But it’s better to have the conversation before he starts his monologue because he’s more receptive to the idea if I’m not suddenly interrupting him with it.

Otherwise we each say to the other, really I would like to read my book, this is your interest and not mine, please let me off now! We make comments for a short time to show we have been listening but there is a limit and that’s ok.

How would your OH respond if you mentioned this at a neutral time, @eynjln ?

I'd be tempted to pop my earbuds in (with hair combed down over my ears so he can't see them) and listen to an audiobook or podcast while he's waffling on, and just nod every now and then so he thinks I'm paying attention to him. 🙄

My 13 year old DS does this about battleships of WW2 (his current obsession)
He has ASD and ADHD.
Melts my brain.

Presumably he knows that you have ADHD?
"Darling I'm afraid I can't concentrate for longer than 10 minutes due to my ADHD, so I'll stop you there"

If he’s not picking up on cues, why wouldn’t you just say it straight?

When my DH talks to me about something I’m not interested in, I tell him I’m not interested and ask him if we can talk about something else. Have you tried being honest?

A friend does this and he is autistic. It drives me up the wall. In his case it's cars which I have zero interest in. I'd be much more interested in dreams but just to be talked at is horrible. With my friend I often feel like I could place a carnature of me nodding on and off and he wouldn't notice.

I like the sound of his interests. My DH want to talk about electrics, newly aquired tools or political theory - can we swap?!

But it's not you though is it, it's the OP who is getting an earful and she's not interested.

It's unfortunate he is not picking up on your cues. I would say; "Wow, it sounds like you've learned loads from X book / Y program. To be honest I am struggling to digest all this information verbally; can you summarise it in a few minutes and we can perhaps talk about it in more detail another time?"

I've audhd and tbh I've a rule no talking to me while I eat 😅 otherwise I end up with a cold dinner. I couldn't listen to anyone go on for an hour, I'd get an egg timer , give him 15 minutes and then tell him I've enough now.

An hour on neurology when he doesn’t care that you’re bored is probably equivalent to an hour on Arsenal’s defence when he doesn’t care that you’re bored.

Except he wouldn't do it to his patients because he knows that wouldn't be appropriate... he saves it for his wife. For some reason he believes he deserves her unwavering attention.

"OK dear, that's enough."

Does he ever listen to you?

Can I suggest you do what I do when my husband starts telling me in detail how he built the shed, fixed the guttering etc. After about 5 minutes I say 'ok, stop talking now, I'm bored'

Obviously it depends how you say it but it's become a bit of a joke between us now 😆