Odd girl in daughters class

You lifted the definition from Oxford dictionary but you omitted the next word in that definition you quote…. “Strange”

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Look it up

“strange”

I do not like a child being described as odd

How would you feel if, let’s say, you heard a parent describing your child as “odd”?

Gently, this little girls’ problems are not OP’s responsibility and neither does it fall to her DD to be a companion for this child, which from what OP has said, would be against her will and at the expense of her own friendship group. She needs to advocate for her DD, not the other child.

Why? It just means 'different to what is usual or expected'. Whats offensive about that?
Don't assign more meaning to a word than it has.

People need to stop being offended by words. The dictionary definition of 'odd' is 'different to what is usual or expected' what about that troubles you?
This childs behaviour is odd. Theres nothing wrong with stating that. If OP had used a word like 'weird' i'd agree with you but odd, no.

Agree

I had a similar situation with my child but school were much much better - they absolutely saw that the situation was difficult for my child and that it was leading to her isolation from other friends, and put a plan in place to help the other child become less dependent upon my child and to spread the burden out a bit as my child had reached a point where they felt they 'had' to be friends with this child as it would be 'unkind' not to.

The "odd" in the title wasn't needed.

I don’t like a child being described as “odd”

Yikes. That’s not a good look @LoudRoseGuide.

If that’s the case, OP is probably very conscious for her DD to not develop similar anxiety to her, therefore all the more motivated to look out for her DD and her friendships. So what?? That’s not a bad thing.

Obviously the advice to speak to the teacher is correct. But the behaviour isn’t necessarily “odd” for someone who is neurodiverse. Anymore than it’s odd for a blind person to use a dog to help them get around. Or “odd” for someone who is homosexual to be attracted to a person their own sex.

You're just making things up? Where did OP say anything about hiding the child from sight? She didn't even mention SEN at all in her post. The girls' behaviour is odd.

This sounds exactly like a situation in my school. In fact the girl in questions sounds exactly the same. The difference is the group of girls recognise that they are allowed boundaries but also try their best to look out for her. When she gets too much they are very clear and walk away. If the girl wants to play and be with them they let her join.

I always thought they were a lovely lot with empathy and maturity beyond even some adults.

Agree with others, speak to the teacher. But also want to state that I finding your use of the term odd to describe this child old fashioned and out of touch. Clearly she has some sort of neurodiversity and you might not have noticed but we don't label neurodiverse people as odd and keep them out of sight any more.

My daughter has had this recently. She’s autistic and likes to play for a bit but also likes quiet time. She just stated firmly that she didn’t want to play right now.

Be prepared that the teacher may want dd to continue to be friends with the girl so you may need to be more forceful about your dd not being used as a companion.

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My niece ended up in a similar suggestion. The school had actually almost encouraged it, they were desperate for the other girl to have a friend and when she latched on to niece, kept partnering her with her. It was disastrous for my niece and damaged her own other friendships. Dsis had to go to the head about it because the teacher was basically forcing her daughter to be with this girl a lot because it made the teacher's life easier and was helpful to the other girl, she had completely ignored dniece's needs.

This is something for the teacher to help manage. It’s too big an issue for you and your DD to know how to tackle and get right. You need the experience of a teacher who’s worked with loads of different children to know how to handle this.

I agree with PPs, the teacher needs to be made aware that your DD is not happy with the current situation and needs support.

You need to reframe your thinking of the girl. She is not strange/odd. She is different and possibly has a health reason for that.

Likewise this should be a teaching moment for your DD. She is allowed to put boundaries in place and tell the girl “no”. It is a bit harsh to say she “cannot be her friend” when they are in a class together; she just needs to say “I don’t like it when” and have the teacher support the girl to move elsewhere.

Echo pp's that you need to speak to the teacher, but it's important for your dd to know that personal boundaries are important regardless of special needs. There's a little boy, almost non verbal, with ASD in my DDs class (she's 3.5). She understands that he sometimes is a bit "naughty" (in her words, because he does things like throw or act out which is him coping but would be considered naughty if a neurotyoical child did it), but that he is like this because he has different needs to her. She says she's very patient with him and if he can't talk to her that's ok, but when he's hurt her before she knows that that is not ok. Patience yes, tolerance yes, but no child should be upset or made to feel uncomfortable.

OP I was on your other thread and you have very serious and debilitating social anxiety, agoraphobia and OCD.

I am surprised that you surprise this child as “odd” given what you are enduring

This is exactly the sort of thing I’d ask for a quiet word with their teacher about

My daughter has ASC and honestly, would probably have been a bit much at times at primary school. She struggled to make friends and would not know how to interact with other children well. It’s hard, as a parent, to know what to do, because we are told that we should allow DD to be authentic and not mask (due to the mental strain it puts on her, which can lead to burnout). At the same time, if she is authentic then she would get called weird and odd and people don’t want to associate with her.

this child clearly has some form of ASC. Speak to your child’s teacher about helping your dd have some boundaries. But also speak to your daughter about difference and try to show tolerance when possible. Remember on the other side of this is another 10 year old girl who is probably well aware of how they aren’t tolerated in class, have few friends but has no idea how to change it or fix it to fit in better.

also think about your own language around this girl, using words like ‘strange’ and ‘odd’ is hugely hurtful, it’s not behaviour the girl can help or easily change. Try, if possible, to be more inclusive when speaking to your own daughter about her.

Speak to the teacher and emphasize that your DD is very uncomfortable with the other girls behaviour. Your DD has to be the focus of this conversation as schools aren't going to talk about the other kids needs or behaviour to you.

Good for your DD for trying to be kind but it's ok for her to be out of her depth here.