Odd girl in daughters class

No Vet on here would dream of diagnosing an animal from a blurry photo, No GP would either, yet time after time on here people are happy to diagnose a behavioural issue {Or whatever} from a few lines of description.

Yet it is supposed to be hard to get a ''diagnosis'' {?} on here it seems anyone will give a diagnosis instantly, with zero waiting.

Don't be so naive. She knew exactly what she was doing

Some of you are clearly very uneducated and it shows. Nobody is asking you to understand neurodivergence, but just be a little less narrow minded then to call children odd. You have no idea what these children go through, or how alien they already feel in a world clearly not willing to even attempt to understand them.

I can imagine it would be annoying to be asked all the time, but not inappropriate- unless the daughter is uncomfortable talking about periods, in which case I’d suggest the problem lies with the way she’s been taught about them.

As for biting people’s stuff - of course it’s not ok, but that’s where education is required to remove these unacceptable behaviours.

The only other behaviour mentioned is an interest in bugs. Would it be ok if instead of bugs it was dogs? Or something cuter…kittens?

Writing "It sounds to me like she could have ASD," on a talk board about an anonymous person isn't quite the same as a diagnosis.

This is what l wondered. Everything has to be labelled as a condition or disability these days, but it could just as easily be something to do with the home situation.

I have an adult child who is autistic and has a learning disability, which means their behaviour is often not that of a typical thirty-something, but never have I come across anyone that thinks they should be shamed for their disability. Luckily most people these days don't think that disabled people should be excluded from society either.

Do SEN teachers diagnose now? That’s going to make a massive difference to a lot of families.

l have no idea if this child has been diagnosed with something so that is why is used the word odd.
it is not my place or business to assume someone has asd/autism etc…
she may not be sen and therefore I am ok using the word odd

This is what OP said. No offence meant. But a bucketload taken on behalf of a child people are perfectly willing to label as ND unseen. I know what l think is more damaging.

It’s perfectly fine to describe her behaviour as odd. My dc have ASD and they are odd!

I wonder if everything is ok at home for this poor little girl.

I think it's more unreasonable to assume diagnoses.

The girls needs to put boundaries in place but OP absolutely needs to speak to the teacher so she can handle it properly, together with TAs in the playground, etc.

The OP’s daughter merely insisting she should
‘go away’ or ‘leave me alone’ every day isn’t going to be effective, for either party.
I suspect the setting might not be right for the poor girl and the sooner she can be moved, or plans put in place, the better. With those behaviours, it’d be a most likely be a nightmare for her to end up in MS secondary.

OP, I’d say speak to the teacher and they should then be able to assign adults in the playground to monitor and intervene accordingly. That’s the price that children who are ‘caring’ pay for including those that fit in, unfortunately. I don’t blame your daughter at all for not wanting to be a social outcast too when she doesn’t have any additional needs herself and can avoid that. I hope she’s back with her friends soon.

I would speak to the school as my daughter use to help out children with sen issues until I had to put a stop to it as she was really ill one day and crying as I kept her off saying she can't miss school and would get told off as she has to look after the younger ones and I said it ain't your job to as she said it is. then it all came out that my daughter misses playtime and lunchtime to look after them she lost friends because of it and also got told off if the children with sent didn't have snack or lunch if there parents forgot to give them so she was giving her lunch away so she wouldn't get told off. I would ask the school to put boundaries down.

DS1 had a friend in primary school who was similar to the little girl in the OP. He had autism and my son probably does too (still awaiting assessment at 16.) Nobody else wanted to be friends with this boy and his mum told me that my son was the first child to get along well with him. He had a lot of sensory issues and felt the urge to bite things, including himself. He ate paper and cardboard and bit pencils in half. He could be confrontational and always seemed to end up in arguments with other children (and the teacher!) He was also incredibly smart. My son distanced himself when the boy started threatening him with various objects, like a sharp broken ruler or a piece of playground equipment. He still liked him but found him unpredictable and a bit frightening. I suppose what I'm saying is that children aren't obliged to be friends with anyone if it is making them uncomfortable. My son reconnected with his friend a couple of years after they started different secondary schools and now they get on like a house on fire!

No, the OP has taken the behaviour at face value - different from the norm. The rush to attach labels to every kind of different behaviour these days is alarming - especially unseen. This could have been a really helpful thread for OP. Instead she’s been chased from it in record time by a ridiculous pile on over one word that wasn’t meant the way it was taken. MN is a pit of vipers at times.

Honestly I would have been telling my daughter to keep her distance all this time. No good can come from a “friendship” like this.

Since that hasn’t been discouraged though and you’re now a little stuck I would just encourage her to be polite but firm. “No thank you, I don’t want to play.” Or “I would like some space please.”

If the boundaries are ignored she will have to stop being so polite.

YABVU to label a child who clearly has SEN as “odd” and “strange”.

Yes speak to the teacher. They may have a lunch club they can direct the girl to (we have a lunch club available for children who find social times tricky, this includes ND and NT children and is invitation only, so teachers need to know about any social difficulties as they might think it's nice that the 'odd' girl is making friends).

there are some typically nasty comments on here 'it's none of your concern if the child has any needs'

er, actually we live in a society - and your child is part of a group of children - I tend to think it is part of how we approach issues to think about the needs of others too.

the teacher will be well used to dealing with issues like this and the first place I would start is with her/him

Hardly demeaning.

Asking repeatedly everyday when the other girl is uncomfortable is absolutely inappropriate. As is leaving bite marks on other people's property.

She’s 10. Who demeans a 10 year old?

That’s odd - l thought she did.

Why do people jump in to say we are offended.
Just because something is questioned it doesn't mean we take it personally.

It's not a nice way of describing someone. That's it.

You could just say "Girl in DD's class"