Odd girl in daughters class

Of course I'm not. The behaviour mentioned is completely normal, so are many other things. Doesn't mean all ND children do it. Or all ND children don't.

Thanks for your sharing your perspective as a teacher, that sounds a very difficult position for a child to be in.

Sorry that happened to your niece @InDogweRust

So would you care to elaborate ?

*odd

I am not saying that.
I am just saying that from the post it struck a chord with me on what I experienced as a child.
I was called off too and remember how it made me feel.

Amen to that. What a surprise this thread is already nine pages long, full of posters saying the same thing over and over.

No cruelty is more socially acceptable than dumping the weird autistic kid.

Which is totally irrelevant to the discussion here. We don’t even know there’s an actual condition which would satisfy the EA description of disability. The point is, OP hasn’t assumed one and has tried to avoid language which does.

But it'ok.to decide the girl.is autistic based on very limited information on a thread?.

I agree with previous posters about talking to your child's teacher and the school counsellor (sorry, from the US). It sounds like she needs help and support in navigating friendships and recognizing boundaries and social cues. Even if the school aren't in a position to help with this due to lack of resources they can at least talk to her parents to let them know what is going on and see if they can find help outside the school.

When my DD was diagnosed there was a social group for autistic teens in a neighbouring town (unfortunately shut down due to COVID at that time) that was aimed at helping them with establishing friendships and understanding the 'rules' that go along with them. They would meet and socialize and their parents would have parenting classes at the same time to gain insight into parenting children on the autistic spectrum. I wish there was something similar in the UK.

My DD had a similar experience with a child in her class. The school did intervene and took steps to support both children. My DD is 16 and the other girl is still in her form, my DD is still kind and nice to her, but the other girl has found her people. It took a bit of navigating, but it was all fine in the end.

The OP didn't call the kid odd to her face FFS. She used it to describe her behaviour on an anonymous forum of adults.

She used the term odd to describe the kids behaviour because it is fucking odd. Stop being offended on behalf of some kid that none of you know and has had no insult, direct or indirect, from the OP or otherwise.

If you come back op, I hope the meeting with the teacher is useful.

Overall we meet many people in life some we can easily avoid and others we have a permanent or temporary need to share space with because of school, work, where we live, family. If at any point people are not enjoying someone’s company for whatever reason I see no problem with wanting to extricate yourself. Lots of people are desperate to prove how worthy they are and piling on at the alleged offending word whereas I notice some parents who write they have children with ASD managed to not be offended. The posters concern is her DD first and foremost. You can feel bad for other children in any circumstance but as a parent the well being of your own child comes first.

Sometimes it feels as if freedom of thought and language is being so crushed by society we are going backwards. But lack of critical thinking skills means people assume we are going forwards.

I feel it is totally wrong to speculate over a child, and in no way is it ever okay to refer to them as "odd".

I was that child back in the 1980's, undiagnosed and perceived as odd.
I remember every look, every comment and the way it made me feel.
Comments given by adults who thought I was too stupid to know what they were implying.

I didn't have my autism diagnosis until adulthood.
I totally empathise with any child who faces the struggles I did.
I am sure in this day most children will have their diagnosis during childhood, but that doesn't make it acceptable for ignorant adults to speculate over them and refer to them as odd.

The fact a grown adult can speak about a child in this way is what is odd in my opinion.

Only by NT standards. Her behaviour is very standard for autistic children.

Everyone talks about inclusivity and kindness till it comes to actually interacting with neurodivergent people, then it seems that NTs are quite discriminatory and unkind.

I've not read the full thread, I can't face any more of this kind of attitude.

Everything @GoldVermillion said. And I wonder if the other girl's parents have any idea that heir dd has only one reluctant 'friend' and is being left out by everyone else.

Schools are often so utterly crap for some kids.

Autism and ADHD. Can't think of any others, though, so "ND" is, as usual, a totally meaningless term. You don't have to be afraid of using the word "autism".

OP as the Mum of a DD with ASD and friendship issues , who can't rec9gnize boundaries, I would day upur best bet is to get the school pastoral care involved

It isn't your daughters job to provide this support, the school and indeed the child's parents would be aware if the issues.

The other child will need more intervention than just your daughter can provide to give your daughter the space that she needs.

Please speak to the schools pastoral care.

Self ID is one thing. Labelling a child as disabled unseen on a public forum is something else entirely.

How on earth is that offensive?!

It just means ‘things are usually exactly what they appear to be’!

Possibly the most sensible post on the thread.

@Scottishbornandbread43 brave post. Sorry for the bunfight over terminology but probably best to avoid the words odd/bizzare.

Im the Mum of a child like the one in your girls class. It’s fine that your DD doesn’t want to be friends.

Three thoughts.

1. Teach her a little about ND and differences (and perhaps consider Future Learns free Autism awareness course for yourself which is excellent). This might mean using language like neurodiverse etc which is more accurate and kind.

1. Speak to the teacher ASAP. As PP have said and request support and mixing up of seating plans and groups.

1. Encourage other friendships for your DD with play dates etc.

I agree that your priority should be your DD. My first point is to support your DD with life skills. ND isn’t going away - kids that are supported to empathize and understand with boundaries will have real advantage in the future. But she should also be able to choose her own friends at school.

Self I'd is one thing ,diagnosing someone you have never met based on a couple of paragraphs on a thread is quite another

And people are calling the OP offensive !!!

@Scottishbornandbread43 OP I'm a mum of an autistic boy and I would expect any child having a problem with him to adress the teacher and the TA. This is for the girl's sake as well: she needs to learn the social rules and therefore needs children (with the help of adults) to put in boundaries. Or this can escalate. I remember my boy coming home crying because a boy hit him. When asked why: "Because I wanted to be his friend and play with him". This was true from my boy's perspective BUT when I talked t9 the other boy he said my son was following him around all the time and he had told him to leave him alone and my boy hadn't listened. It led to a good thing because I talked to the teacher and the TA and his pa (halftime) to please pay attention during recess for Everyone's sake. I don't want my boy harrassing kids without understanding what he's doing and also don't want him to deal with the fallout. So teacher told all kids that if there is a problem with X you talk to an adult. That way my kid could learn about boundaries and the others could play with him sometimes but only if they wanted to.

You've misunderstood masking in the context of ASD. Masking in the context of ASD is when people try to cover pretty much their entire being to fit in. Learning appropriate behaviour is not 'masking'.