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Original poster

Odd girl in daughters class

241 replies

Scottishbornandbread43 · 20/01/2025 05:33

Daughter is in primary school and has always had a nice group of friends.
There is a girl in her class that is a bit strange (sorry please don’t think im
being mean). She talks and sings to herself at inappropriate times, she chews everything and leaves bite marks on everything including other people’s property- her conversations are odd - constantly talking about bugs, she asks my daughter every day if she’s had her period yet (daughter is 10). There is a list of strange things this girl does.

My daughter felt sorry for her as no one played with her but now my daughter has found her other friends now don’t want to play with her.

My daughter spoke to me over the weekend and said she doesn’t want to be friends with this girl anymore but says she follows her around saying ‘she worships her’ (which I think is bizarre)and doesn’t want to be told off for telling her to leave her alone.

I feel sorry for this girl as did my daughter but I don’t think my daughter realised how intense she would become.

any advise? My daughter tried being kind but is now so upset as she doesn’t want be unkind to her but she just wants some space from her

OP posts:
ladyamy · 20/01/2025 06:28

FeralWoman · 20/01/2025 06:06

Even if she does it’s okay for OP’s DD to put boundaries in place and have the girl leave her alone. ASD doesn’t entitle anyone to ignore other people’s boundaries. OP’s DD doesn’t have to maintain any sort of friendship with her.

(Disclaimer: I’m a mum of a DD with ASD.)

Show quote history

Oh absolutely! I agree fully with that too.

BeSharpBee · 20/01/2025 06:25

Teachers should have an eye on any intense friendships at this age. You need to speak with them about supporting both children.

Choccyscofffy · 20/01/2025 06:23

Speak to the teacher and tell them that dd is finding the following around and the language overwhelming and ask her to help dd put in boundaries.

Be prepared that the teacher may want dd to continue to be friends with the girl so you may need to be more forceful about your dd not being used as a companion.

PokerFriedDips · 20/01/2025 06:22

Although it's likely this child has spectrum related SEN that is none of your business. Your sole concern is ensuring that your DDs needs are met and she's protected from being used against her will as part of another child's support plan. Your child mustn't be expected to take the fallout from the other child having inadequate support and supervision. She's as entitled as any other child to choose her own friends and breaktime activities and to opt to partner with different children for partnered-up classroom activities. Talk to the classroom teacher and the school senco about how to achieve this snd make sure your DD has a workable strategy for what to do when the other child is being too intense and she needs to be able to extract herself.

Fundays12 · 20/01/2025 06:22

It sounds like this girl is autistic but its not your daughter's place to support her. If she doesn't want to be friends with her that's ok (said as a mum on autistic/ADHD child). I would contact the school and speak to them. It's not fair that your daughter is being followed around and pressured into a friendship.

Piccalow · 20/01/2025 06:19

Gumbuyahpark · 20/01/2025 06:04

I think it’s irrelevant what issues the other child has or does not have - OP’s number one concern is her own child and her own child is upset and wants space.

You are going to have to contact the teacher/school and be very clear that you want your child’s right to space to be respected as they will be reluctant to act to upset the SEN child.

I think you're going to have to do this too

Piccalow · 20/01/2025 06:18

ladyamy · 20/01/2025 05:45

(SEN teacher here)

It sounds to me like she could have ASD.

And? OP wants advice on how to help her daughter not a diagnosis for the kid who keeps bugging her kid.

OneBrightAzureBiscuit · 20/01/2025 06:15

this girl clearly has Autism or learning difficulties- and I find it misplaced how a 10 year old would know the word “worship” when referring to this.
if you’re very concerned could you speak to the girl’s parent?

Rachmorr57 · 20/01/2025 06:06

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

FeralWoman · 20/01/2025 06:06

ladyamy · 20/01/2025 05:45

(SEN teacher here)

It sounds to me like she could have ASD.

Even if she does it’s okay for OP’s DD to put boundaries in place and have the girl leave her alone. ASD doesn’t entitle anyone to ignore other people’s boundaries. OP’s DD doesn’t have to maintain any sort of friendship with her.

(Disclaimer: I’m a mum of a DD with ASD.)

Gumbuyahpark · 20/01/2025 06:04

I think it’s irrelevant what issues the other child has or does not have - OP’s number one concern is her own child and her own child is upset and wants space.

You are going to have to contact the teacher/school and be very clear that you want your child’s right to space to be respected as they will be reluctant to act to upset the SEN child.

Tumblingthrough · 20/01/2025 05:53

Yes, SEN.

Lovely of your DD to make friends with her.
Speak to the teacher as you will need her help to manage this in a sympathetic way for everyone.

Original poster
Scottishbornandbread43 · 20/01/2025 05:49

Yes I’m sure she has something going on. Any advice on how my daughter handles this situation?
She tried being kind but feels like it’s backfired on her

OP posts:
Iwilladmit · 20/01/2025 05:48

Can you talk to the class teacher. It sounds like she needs support and that shouldn’t have to come from your daughter.

StrictlyAFemaleFemale · 20/01/2025 05:47

ladyamy · 20/01/2025 05:45

(SEN teacher here)

It sounds to me like she could have ASD.

My thoughts too

ladyamy · 20/01/2025 05:45

(SEN teacher here)

It sounds to me like she could have ASD.

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