Teacher teaching my DC6 about apartheid - AIBU

It’s part of the curriculum so nothing the Head will do anyway

I find it so odd that so many people think you would want to "warn" a small child that someone might not like something like this about him!

Like - is it worse to have someone call you a rude word and not expect it than it is to have them call you a rude word and expect it? I don't think so, going around worried you might get targeted for that kind of thing - which may never actually happen - is disturbing in itself for a small child.

If it does happen and the child noticed he or she will need to be comforted by the parent in any case and have it talked over.

For me it would really depend on how this came up. If it came up in a natural way it's a reasonable explanation.

More generally - I'm not convinced that very young kids like that are best served by a lot of historical information of that kind, in general, where it isn't immediately necessary. I think a lot of parents and teachers think they understand, but often their understanding is quite flawed. They have little sense at that age of timelines (I've spoken to a lot of little kids who, learning about ancient Egypt, think that people are stll over there making mummies and such.) They don't always really understand abstract concepts like race in a way that's sufficiently nuanced. Sometimes, unbeknownst to adults, they can really get the wrong end of the stick.

I tend to think at that age kids are best served my learning that it's important to respect all people, whatever their apparent differences, and that we are all human, and more practical kinds of differences they see in the kids and families around them.

Which is to say, I wouldn't be inclined to have a discussion in a class of six year olds about political models, racist or otherwise. But - it could have come up for another reason, something the kids saw on TV, a question that was asked. That's fine IMO.

Completely agree. I'm not white and this (second year of primary school) was exactly the age that racist comments started.

It's true that no children are born with prejudice, but I've not yet seen a year 1 class where there isn't a fair amount of prejudice to challenge - they've had 6 years of being brought up by that point! I just can't understand the viewpoint that it's better not to address it. (Or the idea that you've been able to successfully shelter your child from it all.)

When you say you are “people of colour” are you white ‘because white is also a colour’?

I would be shocked if anyone black shared your view…

I do get where you are coming from. My children have no predjudice (no children have inherent prejudice) and so would naturally treat a child in their class with brown skin (they are white, with brown hair) as no different to a white child with ginger hair. They’d notice they have different skin / hair colour of course, but they wouldn’t feel that made the children different to them or inferior to them.

By teaching a very young child about how children with brown skin used to be treated differently, perhaps would create thoughts in their head about difference that they hadn’t seen before, and in the case of my child if misinterpreted a feeling that perhaps they are superior (a 5/6 year old’s comprehension isn’t always spot on) or in the case of your child that they might be inferior.

Children should absolutely learn about apartheid though. Perhaps though they should be learning about positive things from other cultures first e.g. people of colour who have done something incredible not linked to their race.

Don’t complain to the Head!

😂😂

but seriously, who would be a teacher these days….

Why does he need to know? Why not wait a year or two til he has a more sophisticated understanding of the world? 6 is so little

You would have to ask the government that. Schools have to teach the curriculum.

Almosttimeforchristmas and OP

That's a bit of a conundrum as I'm sure you would agree that we should teach our children about history / black history and world history because the younger we teach them the less of a lesson to remember, it is more a learnt reality that parents can reinforce BUT with your POV ( not saying it is right or wrong) then that's for white children. Non white childrennshould be protected

And yes to answer your question I am white and not reflecting on your respective posts

Although erring on the side that it needs taught

I completely agree OP. I wonder how many of the people disagreeing with you on this thread both assumed you and your child are white and are white themselves. My child is not white. 60% of his classmates are not white. Age 6 is not the age to have this kind of information shared at school. I think year 3 would be more appropriate. Genuinely, my 6 year old currently has no conception that anyone would ever think less of him for not being white. I would feel as upset as you do but edited to add, don’t go in to the school with all guns blazing. Try to have a calm conversation so you can get your thoughts and views across

But that is why you have to educate your children. I think it's doing them a huge disservice to allow them to believe that nobody will treat them differently because of the colour of their skin. Especially you don't want a stranger to do it. Be it a supply teacher or a child they are playing with or a big old racist.

now suddenly he is aware of people's skin colour I think I might have taken this a little too literally sorry.

I guess if it's something you're not happy about it's worth having a chat with the teacher? To find out why it's being taught?

Why does he need to know? Because his peers will be being negatively affected by racism, whether or not he 'notices' - and if he knows he can call it out - yes, even at 6.

Christ... who'd be a teacher?!?

Why does he need to know? Why not wait a year or two til he has a more sophisticated understanding of the world? 6 is so little

Just wanted to jump on and say that when I taught my year 1 class about Rosa Parks, I was blown away by the thoughtful and kind messages from parents (of many different backgrounds). Not one parent complained that I'd taught this. It's part of the curriculum OP, look inside at why you're so upset about it. Are you white?

You can't be serious with this ?

Someone else said it was because of ofsted

Yes, he does need to know. You're still being monumentally unreasonable.

I completely agree OP. I wonder how many of the people disagreeing with you on this thread both assumed you and your child are white and are white themselves. My child is not white. 60% of his classmates are not white. Age 6 is not the age to have this kind of information shared at school. I think year 3 would be more appropriate. Genuinely, my 6 year old currently has no conception that anyone would ever think less of him for not being white. I would feel as upset as you do but edited to add, don’t go in to the school with all guns blazing. Try to have a calm conversation so you can get your thoughts and views across

You've done your son a huge disservice nd the teacher has done him a massive favour.

My dc and I aren't white and I've made damned sure they know their history and prepared them for any problems.

Your son may not identify people by colour, but you can be damned sure other people do.

YABU

And of course he realises people have different skin colours. My kids were barely even toddlers when they’d (loudly) point it out including “that lady has a pink face” 🫨

YABU. He's always been aware of people's skin colour. He has only just become aware of racism. The two are so different.

He's been privileged so far to only just learn of the concept. My son was 2 when he started saying a boy in his class called him "light brown" as a way of excluding him from his mainly white class.

I don't see the issue. This was absolutely a fact and there is no point in pretending otherwise.

Why the fuck do you think your child is unaware of the skin colour of others. Presumably he has eyes and can see.

I think the teacher was absolutely factual and age appropriate here. I see no reason for your fury, nor any need to descend on the headteacher.

You are being ridiculous. Get a grip.