To have asked him to stop drinking?

If you can't drive perhaps don't go looking stuff up on gumtree that you've got no way of collecting.
Or wait until your husband is around to discuss when it convenient rather than disrupt a family meal.

It's not really about the drinking or the volume. It's that he had plans and you thought what you needed him to do was more important than that. It's selfish.

I agree that you was unreasonable to ask him when he'd already made plans, hope you can see that and let it go.

You are out of order. If you didn't want him meeting his family and having a drink because you, collectively, have got a lot on, then that would be something that you could have agreed in advance. It looks like it has turned out OK in the end, but please do think about what you are expecting here iro of always having a driver at your disposal, especially when they have agreed other plans. I get that there will be moments where you have to have a cast iron guarantee that someone can do the driving (e.g, DC is not well, and there may be a hospital trip, trains are cancelled etc. too many to think of actually) but you getting an unexpected offer of something that needs picking up while he goes about his pre-arranged plans is not it. I realise that you do not drive due to disabilty, and this is part of your agreement together, but sorry, this doesn't sound fair on him.

Seems there's more to it, that he's fed up that just because you don't understand him liking a drink with his friends or family, he is still allowed to enjoy that should he want to.

You don't drink so, perhaps, you are not aware that it takes approximately an hour for 1 unit of alcohol to clear from your system. Plus an additional hour it takes for it to hit your bloodstream. So, if he started drinking at noon and had two glasses of wine, he would not be legal to drive at least until 7pm. And, personally, I wouldn't drive at all on days I was drinking because legal doesn't always mean safe.
And this is leaving aside the issue of you arranging his diary in his absence. So yes, YABU.

I don’t drink, but I think it’s okay to ask but not to tell him. If he said, yes, that sounds like a great plan, yes, totally fine. But if he says, no I’d rather not risk it because I’ve already had a couple and I’d prefer to carry on enjoying my lunch, that’s fine too. It’s not the drinking (I don’t drink at all), but I wouldn’t want my plans to be changed just to go chasing some flaky person on FB marketplace who probably won’t even come through.

If I have any more than one drink that’s it I’m not driving for the rest of the day. That’s the responsible thing to do IMO.

I would never text DH and order him to stop drinking. If there was an emergency I’d ask if he was able to drive but he’s the same as me and very cautious about alcohol and driving. Why didn’t you ask about picking it up the next day before telling your DP to fall into line and do what you wanted?

If you’re worried about his drinking generally then have an honest conversation about that. Don’t try to control him, it won’t work and will damage your relationship.

If it was to collect someone from hospital maybe, but for furniture… no! He’s out, leave him be!

You don’t drink so you don’t get it! Once you’ve bad one and are in the mood why stop for something like that?!

It's a Sunday, he has plans with his family. Furniture can wait. It was unreasonable to ask him to stop, unless he has had problems with alcohol in the past which would be the main reason rather than that you want him to drive

I think if OP was a man who said he asked his DW to stop enjoying a drink with her mum and sister there would be all sorts of mayhem on this thread.
You were being unreasonable. You said yourself he doesn't do this very often. Surely the best option was to contact the seller first to see if they'd hold it over for you and go from there if they wouldn't.

Yabu. Your DH had plans. Plus it's not advisable to drive after any alcohol really. Here in Scotland a few sips would take you over the limit

I'd not even have seen the message - if I'm out with friends/family my phone stays in my pocket. I'm surprised he even acknowledged your request.

Why are people saying he is lazy? Lazy for what?

I don’t push drinking and driving at all. It I have a beer midday, I’m not going to drive in the evening. That I my personal choice for being sure I am always 100% safe to drive.

so to me there seems little point in him stopping because I wouldn’t drive anyway.

im still surprised he was already 3 drinks in that quickly. That seems like an entire afternoon worth of drinking.

I just don't get alcohol. But seems lots understand his point of view

But you do get interrupting someone's plans to make new ones for them and that it's rude right?

He is out, he has plans. The furniture can either be collected tomorrow when he is free or you skip it and get a different set another day.

I'd be so mad if dh made me curtail my plans with my sister to go on a pointless errand.

Hmm. How much does he do eg to organise house things like this new furniture? How much of the emotional load does he carry?

How often does he go on a bender, and what does that look like?

It's probably more to do with the fact you don't drive, he's constantly driving you both around etc. and he just wanted to enjoy a meal out and relax People who don't drive don't tend to realise when your constantly relied on too it can be very draining

YABU
Arrange collecting next available day that suits

If he had already had a couple, it would not be sensible to drive a couple of hours later.
YABU to impose an instruction on him to stop drinking when he was out as prearranged, just because you have now found something that you want him to.

Yeah yabu. I certainly wouldn’t take kindly to this request in the middle of a social lunch out.

YABU. he is unavailable, if you want the furniture today you need to find someone else to drive you.

I would never stop drinking and plan to then go and drive anywhere later the same day, regardless.

I'm not a drinker and have a personal rule of not being with drinkers due to previous relationships with alcoholics. But sorry I think this was an unreasonable request to spring on him while he was already out and had made his own plans.