What do you do at weekends with secondary age children?

Preteen and teens Dc had a club we all did together, came home and had burgers/pulled pork/ home fake KFC infront of the telly once a week.

Walks, coffee and cake now they are a bit older. Have Had merlin passes every now and again and done nearly all the free museums in London.

Act as a tax driver! To deliver to friends/work/hobbies. One of them I share a hobby with. The other not. Me and DH tend to try and do something together.

DS (14) goes to a school that has Sat am lessons and matches in the afternoons so honestly, Saturday evenings and most of Sunday tend to be just him chilling/ gaming/ watching the premiership- sometimes he goes bouldering with a friend and he has cricket training Sunday evenings year round. DD (13) plays netball and rugby or both most Sundays in winter and sails (races) in summer. Saturdays is chilling and a bit of homework/ seeing friends. We sometimes do Parkrun together and grab a coffee afterwards. They tend to see their friends through their sports as opposed to just hanging out with them at home but sometimes they do also have friends round.

Should’ve added that this was back around 2015-2019 - DD is an adult now and we wouldn’t be able to afford it either in the current climate!

Ds13 does sport sat morning then games the rest of the day. Or we sometimes visit family and he comes along. Sunday we always have dinner round MILs and he might go out with friends in the afternoon. I'm encouraging him to know he can invite friends back here which he does sometimes. To game or watch football. Happy to give lifts to friends to go home. Occasionally go to the cinema. Certain TV programmes we watch together I'm the evening. And he eats crisps and sweets.

OP your 12 yr old will be exhausted so that's why he is not up for anything. Mine is similar a homebody,literally told me yesterday he wants to do nothing as too tired. Sunday he does swimming with his dad,afterwards we went to see the wildlife photography exhibition. And that is more than enough. We watch traitors together as a learning activity. No need to feel guilty. I get tired even though I manage to wfh a couple days a week,our kids go out full day for 5 days, they are allowed to veg out at home to decompress.

Most Saturdays are football days for ds and dh. Ds is 13. He plays in the morning and then usually goes to watch our local team in the afternoon, be it home or away (if within a couple of hours drive).
So it mostly leaves me free on Saturdays which is amazing 😂
Then we have a bit of a cook up in the evening, kids might play pool, we have music on and maybe play a game while dh cooks. We have 2 older dc, 20 and 19, if they are home it’s a lot of fun.
Sundays are mostly a walk with extended family, sometimes just us, often a stop off at the pub for crisps and hydration, then home for a Sunday dinner and a fire.

All of the above is subject to changes if anyone else has other plans but if not it’s pretty much the norm. Homework happens during the week, at the moment it’s an hour a night and this means weekends are free not spent doing homework. This may change as the years go on but for now it’s more than manageable.

When my DC were young teens 13-16, Saturday morning was always an indoor sports activity in winter eg badminton, squash, swimming, rock wall etc, in summer swapped for outdoor similar - then retire to a nice cafe for brunch, everyone did their own thing pm, if no one out Saturday night was nice meal at home or takeaway, a film or board games
Maybe once a month we would do a day out somewhere - and take it in turns to pick somewhere further afield or more expensive
Sundays were homework, chilling, housework, washing etc and seeing friends
16plus they were out most of time and we would generally meet up on a Sunday eve for catch up and food

When I was a kid I don’t remember doing much organised stuff. My mum was a teacher and would work on Sundays. Often there would be chores for me to do. Homework etc. seeing friends. My dad would have sport on the telly during the season.

now, we mostly potter around, relax, read, do homework, bake; occasionally we go for a walk together or shopping or something. Mine only spends Saturday evening and Sunday with me as with their father on Fridays and Saturday daytimes (unless we arrange to swap). I think they’re developing that independence from the family unit so it’s normal- still nice to do things together but it doesn’t have to be every weekend. We do eat together on Sunday evening though (and through the week).

My youngest has just started secondary school and spends time gaming, hanging out with his friends, we have movie nights as a family and he has a football match on Sundays. Some weekends we go shopping, cinema, out for coffee etc...

Mine play out with mates, chill out at home, do homework. Occasionally I'll take them shopping if they need new clothes.
We have just gotten into camping so are likely to do more of that this year when it warms up, hopefully every other weekend. That's pretty good family bonding time, the teens really enjoy it.

We've been watching the traitors together, and they like a movie night as well - we're making our way through the old classics, I think Karate Kid will be next on the list.

They can usually be persuaded to head to the seaside for crabbing or mini golf, and like going out to eat. They like bowling (but I hate it!) and swimming. A meet up in the pub with another family or two, particularly if there's a pool table/ dart board/ card game on offer. Escape rooms (but these can be pricy, so more of a special occasion treat).

But yes - despite this most of their time is still spent gaming!

That sounds like we never have days out which isn’t true. We’ve done escape rooms, cinema, shopping trips, outdoorsy stuff like kayaking and hill walks. Youngest isn’t quite secondary so still likes local attractions. Swimming, etc. We went bowling recently.

Endless sports at the moment, school sports and clubs. Y7 child also has homework and needs downtime as school is full on.

There isn’t any time for family days out but tbh I think they need the rest. We do eat at least a couple of meals as a family at weekends.

Mine are 17, 14 and 12. It is very different now so I completely get where you are coming from. I miss the weekends full of parties, soft play, the playground!
the easiest way to get my oldest two out is normally the promise of food. Most weekends we will go out for breakfast or lunch, we often try to combine this with walking the dogs - so we find different walks that have a nice dog friendly cafe or pub on route. Today we went to the cinema. Shopping is also always welcome won’t the older two. My youngest is still happy with trampoline parks and ninja warrior type things so I let him bring a friend now the older two aren’t as bothered. Bowling , laser tag, and the arcade are also winners. I do have to let the older ones know a few days/ a week in advance now so they don’t plan things with their friends.
I love finding something we will all watch. At the moment it’s the Traitors. Choosing films is a lot harder!

We like chilled weekends. Eldest often works weekends / has a driving lesson. Sometimes they meet friends. But mainly we walk the dogs, and enjoy not having to rush around.

You don't eat as a family?

@Oreyt thats sad that your DC eat in their rooms at age 13 / 14. I’ve never heard of anyone doing that. What a shame

@MumblesParty

No, not AI; just my attempt at gilding doing-not-very-much while I skivvy

As OP's DS, my DC are knackered come the weekend as they are absolutely hard-core during the week, working to within an inch of capacity with school work and activities. As far as I'm concerned, the weekends are theirs, free of expectation. It does them good to practise running their own diaries and organising themselves. We're obviously available should DC want to 'do something as a family', and we may suggest things, but always with the expectation that they'll not want to.

Today, both started the day playing their respective instruments in their own rooms until lunchtime; just messing around, learning new stuff, playing along with online soundtracks etc, then moseyed downstairs to make pancakes for lunch together (they'd texted each other to arrange this!) and then one went to the shops to buy ingredients for their food tech lesson tomorrow, and one popped out to see a friend. Nice. I'm a teacher so too busy prepping things for other people's DC during the weekends to have much time to organise my own.

Mine are a level and gcse but i guess we are luckyish that we have three shopping places to go to so usually one of them and i usually see other families with same age dd do the same, other than that we might meet up with family friends with same age kids to go to restaurants/dessert place but usually do their own thing at home. We live in Manchester tho, so may be different in smaller places.

They can sit with me in the living room if they want but they are usually already upstairs.

It's taken a while to adjust to this phase but mine mostly hangs out with friends, quite often at our house, or goes shopping etc. We sometimes go to the cinema as a family or just me and her, sometimes the gym together too or shopping. DH and I get on with DIY, exercise, go for long walks/coffee, see our friends, when she is with hers. We eat dinner all together most nights, usually watching a series, or at the table. She then retreats to her room. I miss the younger days but I don't miss all the kid related weekend activities to be honest!

They spend their weekends catching up on homework, going to mates' houses or coming here, gaming, and eating. So much eating. So many crumbs - I feel like I spend most of my time wiping up crumbs from that corner of the kitchen, only for them to reappear almost instantaneously.

I also take myself out for a cuppa and a sandwich so I don't have to clean up my own crumbs

I have two 15 year olds. We try to do one thing as a family at the weekend like a walk on the beach or the countryside or visiting family. In the evening we eat together watching TV (traitors at the moment)and then they do their own thing after, gaming etc and we go to the pub with friends or watch a film with some wine in our room.

@Oreyt do you mean they each take their dinner off to their bedrooms that you have cooked, or everyone just cooks their own meals and eats in their rooms? Not meaning to be unkind, but I've never heard of anyone doing this. What would happen if you insisted in sitting down together? Do you want to eat with them?