To think 8/9 year olds shouldn’t be doing this

I think this is absolutely fine & should be encouraged too. My DD & her friends on the estate have been playing out on their own on the wood in the middle of our (granted, safe) estate since last summer. It does so much good for them. Tree swings, sledging, crossing the road (only a cul-de-sac but still!) all building independence and most importantly, getting them fresh air and OFF THE IPAD!!

I’m sorry but yes it is sadly completely possible, but this is not how it would happen. I worked alongside the police for many years in my profession, and dealt with a lot schedule 1 offenders. Our team were informed of some of the police operations in the South East involving CSA rings. A paedophile would observe a vulnerable group and await an opportunity to intercept ie once the group split and were walking home individually. I wish I was less aware of these things but please do not underestimate the reality, there is a real measurable risk.

I would say that 8 is too young for this, and it's definitely too young for a mobile phone, and I was brought up in the 60s/70s where this would have been completely normal. I would be more worried about speeding cars than anything else.

@Mumtumtastic judging by your experience even teenagers shouldn't be out alone. I don't want my children to live like that "just incase" something happens to them.

I find this a strange reply when I just shared that I was a child victim of molestation (sexual assault) as a child/ minor when out on my own. This was a stranger, not my parent. Stats are stats yes, but awful things do still happen that involve strangers.

Also dangerous dog attacks are becoming alarmingly common and lethal. For children and adults alike (Including have a friend who was attacked by one before Christmas)

I grew up in the 80s. Mobile phones hadn't been invented. Both parents worked and 8 year olds babysat themselves. We were out all day and our parents didn't have a clue where we were or how to find us. Jumping off the balconies of the flats onto filthy stained mattresses. Playing chicken on duel carriageways. Climbing on roofs and getting stuck. Danger? Danger didn't exist when we were kids. Always home before dark in time for dinner though. I honestly don't know how children of today would cope if they got dropped off in the 1980s for a day.

You say it's a busy road and you think that, in the extremely unlikely situation that a paedophile decides a busy main road is a good place to molest an 8 yo boy, no-one will notice as your son tries to fight him off? It's not really a realistic scenario is it?

I think year 4 is too young for this. Why are people saying they should have phones?? 8 is too young for a phone. I have a daughter in year 5 and she doesn't have a phone and neither do her friends. I wouldn't let her walk near a busy road for 10 mins to play in a field. I would let her go on her own a little but not really needed to yet, so not completely strict about it.

It does depend on the child, some children are mature at some ages than others. It's what you feel he is capable of. Can you walk to the area as a dry run and see what roads he is crossing to put you mind at ease. Could he be given a phone just so you can call him on the way there and back.

I've got a DS in Y4, he's just turned 9, I wouldn't let him do this yet. By Y6 I'm sure he would be allowed, not sure about Y5 probably would depend on him & his group of friends

The stats also show that a large majority of those cases involve a parent going off with a child. Stranger abductions are rare.

I would worry about a group of kids being silly/unaware at that age as regards road safety more than anything else.

For all the posters posting that they did x in the 70s, respectfully it’s not the 70s anymore.

In the 70s cars were smaller, there was significantly less traffic and despite that road casualties were high for kids. Lots of families didn’t have cars so more adults out on foot, and population was less mobile so there was a much higher chance of an adult you knew looking out for you.

It was also much much more common for 7 and 8 year olds to be out by themselves. When all children are doing something there is a safety in numbers and as pp said the chance of being kidnapped is very low. When your child is the only one they are noticeably the youngest and most vulnerable which puts them at risk from predators, bullying older kids etc

Hi OP, I don’t think your concerns are at all unfounded. Being protective of your DC is normal and appropriate. We are not comparing to the norms of 70’s/ 80’s here, although child abductions/ SA/murders did still occur then)

Child protection is important and parenting views will vary on what is normal/ permissible in different scenarios etc. But imo I agree with you that this is too young. I am shaped by my own experiences of course, which include - my dear nephew nearly killed when a motorist ran a red light (at speed) as he was crossing a pedestrian crossing, which crosses a 50mph dual carriageway. It was only DH lightning quick reflexes (was crossing with him) to yank him backwards that saved his life. At that speed DN (11 at the time) would be dead for sure if he had been out on his own.
I was attacked and molested by a stranger (male) when walking home from school aged 14.

The stats online for child abductions/ assaults are just awful, a sobering read.
“There were approximately 1,148 child abduction offences recorded by the police in England and Wales in 2023/24, an increase when compared with the previous year.”

Trafficking is also on the increase. Being cautious in this day and age I think is totally warranted. I wish the world was different but there are some bloody terrifying people out there not to mention an army of careless (and/ or under the influence) drivers.

Year 4s must be picked up by an adult from school, but year 5s and year 6s can walk home by theirselves. Yes, it was different when I was 8 in the 80s, but as a general rule of thumb, following what school does seems fairly sensible.

but I do let my 8 year old play at the closest park to our house - it’s only 200 yards away and crossing a residential street. I don’t think I’d yet let him cross the main road to the bigger park nearby.

I do think is a bit young, is there a footpath? To be out and about on their own at that age; but like you I am a bit anxious about rds, cars, speeding and strange danger.

By all means start training him but do what you feel comfortable with, follow your instincts, one step at a time. It is not the 70s, 80s or 90s. Things have changed at lot in the last 20 plus years

We have a habit of allocating age to being ready to do things, suddenly you are 11 and can go to high school, 16 can do this, 18 can do that. Rather than have an individual approach and be guided by the child. Some are some aren’t. I let my child led with my guidance

I totally agree with you OP maybe I am over protective too but I also wouldn’t be comfortable letting my 8 year old do what you describe

God no, but I live in inner London, in a village or on a housing estate in suburbia I would be less cautious perhaps. At least once a week I see someone sail through a pedestrian crossing when there are kids waiting or sometimes even when they are still on the road. Also lots of nutty weirdos about. It’s all very well saying it was the norm in the 80s/90s but that was a long time ago now and things are different. There’s still plenty of years to develop independence when you’re 8 and you don’t have to put them at undue risk to develop it.

Nope, wouldn’t want my 8yo doing that. He’s a smart sensible boy and I live in a village but still no. I wouldn’t let him stay home alone, so I wouldn’t let him out alone. (yes I know there are friends but as seen all too often that means nothing)

When I was about 8, I was playing with some friends in ‘the woods’ (a small cluster of trees in reality) behind our houses and I fell and broke my wrist. My friends quickly realised I needed an adult, so one ran back to our house to get my dad. I had a cast on my wrist for about 6 weeks, but was still allowed to go out to play in ‘the woods’ with an extra ‘be careful!’ from my parents.

I think independent play is so important for children. They have to learn elements of personal responsibility gradually - and looking out for their mates - by being allowed to do things. Would your son know what to do if a friend sprained his ankle playing football? If a weird drunken bloke started hanging around? If you’ve taught him the basics you have to let him start learning to navigate the world.

Just to add, looking back now as a disabled middle-aged woman, I absolutely treasure my childhood memories of playing football, marbles, running around, climbing trees, riding bmxs. Broken bone aside, I loved every minute of it.

Where I live kids are expected to walk to middle school so from year 5 onwards. My DS is in yr 3 (also 8yo) but I wouldn't let him out on his own yet.
We have a small parade of shops at the bottom of the street and I've let him go into the newsagents while I was in the chemist before. I have left him home on his own while I've popped down to the newsagents as well. He's very mature and I trust him, he's just too young.

YANBU. Its the road that would worry me We have a park and shops at the end of a narrow stretch of pavement. It might only be a 10 mins walk but its along a 40mph road that is very busy with larger vehicles and the crossing is a busy junction with traffic joining from 3 directions. I don't like walking up that way myself because it feels unsafe. I won't allow DCs to walk that way alone until teens - I don't care what anyone says. Its not the 80s - there are far more vehicles on the road and fewer pedestrians to help them if there were any Issues (eg. obstruction or lights were out).

If your child is going from never been unsupervised to going to a field a while away then that might be too big a step.
I think that it’s reasonable on working on the smaller steps to reach that goal though. I live in an area where 8/9 year olds do stuff like that on days with better weather and schools allow kids to talk home from year 5.

Absolutely ludicrous. Parenting should be based on encouraging independence and what is best for D.C., not ‘instincts’.