To think 8/9 year olds shouldn’t be doing this

absolutely no way. i cant believe the number of posters who would be comfortable with this.

In Y4 my son went to the park on his own but it’s right next to my house and no road to cross. I’d say it’s too young for a busy road. But that means either you go with him or he doesn’t go.

Take a look at Danish parenting

Completely dependent on your child. My DD is almost 9 and has no road sense whatsoever, she is way off of that kind of independence. She still holds my hand walking to school. Children mature at different rates. Trust your own instincts about your own child.

Watch the documentary’On the way to school’ (or similar title). It shows the dangerous routes children around the world take in order to get to school, often without adult help. Whilst these are extreme and no parent probably wants their child to do this it does show how clever and resilient quite young children can be when expected to look after themselves.

Children socialising independently and learning how to navigate their own communities and social lives without adult intervention or influence, isn't the same as being taken out for walks by parents. It doesn't do the same thing for them developmentally.

Agreed. See it all the time on these threads.

This is dependent on where you live. As always with these threads on Mumsnet there are those who cannot imagine it and are horrified, meanwhile there are communities up and down the country where 8 year olds are indeed walking about on their own or in groups every day.

I'm in Scotland. Of course children walk to and from school, shops, clubs, out to play etc on their own from the age of 8.

I wouldn’t let my child do that because she is too much of a daydreamer, but I imagine a lot of other children would be capable.

How exactly have things changed? I hear this a lot on here but nobody seems to come up with FACTS on how things have changed

I do get where you're coming from. Mine weren't allowed until the beginning of year 6 as that's when they got their first phones and started to walk home alone from school. I didn't feel they were mentally mature enough to understand some things. Perhaps some younger are but mine weren't. Also living in London I was more cautious, although things do happen anywhere and everywhere but it was a factor. It made it easier for me however that none of their friends were allowed before year 6 either so we didn't have the social aspect before then to consider.

What do you mean before we knew about "stranger danger". ? I was 8 in 1979. We were taught then never to go anywhere with strangers etc.

I wasn't allowed to roam at 4 and 5 but by 8 I was catching the public bus to school and home and able to go to the library and park etc

I wouldn’t allow it until probably year 6 and I don’t think I’m particularly overprotective. It is also the norm round me (very common in second half of year 6 for mums to be sitting in a cafe while their child and friend go shopping for an hour)

Of course many do, and I’m not saying it is wrong, just that there is a risk. It was terrifying being attacked by someone much stronger and I was well aware of the stranger danger stuff, but that knowledge did nothing to protect me (same as in cases of domestic abuse). If a parent or even older sibling had been with me it would have. I will always vote on the side of accompany children/ minors or with a trusted adult. I have no idea when we would allow DC going out solo but thankfully don’t need to worry about that for some time.

Iis great to do those things and teach safety but the reality is a criminal with intent is no match for a child. I think the whole stranger danger talk does make us feel safer though. But online grooming is more common than opportunistic attacks now (and was the police focus in my teams joint meetings with them)

I try to raise awareness on forum’s like this but certainly don’t live in fear. I accompany my kids (they are way too young to do anything independent anyway as my eldest is 6) and am not apologetic for being on the protective spectrum for them.

I feel like it won’t be long til the depressingly predictable pearl clutching label will be thrown my way, but hopefully sharing these experiences is helpful to some. I certainly never sought a career involving violent sexual offenders but it was a very small part of the role that sadly got bigger over time. I was followed back to my car once in the dark when I left the office late. There are some seriously messed up people out there

I really hate that whenever this debate comes up people assume if you don't let your child out unsupervised they must be indoors on screens instead. It is possible for people to take thier own children out for walks through the woods at weekends and take children to hobby clubs etc... my child is not a hermit crab because I'm not ready to let him out on his own yet.

I have an 8 year old too and there is no way I'd let her walk to and from school alone, very few of the my fellow year 4 parents do. Actually, the school don't release them after school unless a named adult is there to pick them up until year 5, at which point they will with permission. So I agree, too much freedom at this point....

I think it sounds lovely. Far more scared of dd getting online than walking with friends!

My DS turned 8 at Christmas time (he's year 3) and I would not be comfortable letting him do this just yet.

Of course awful things can still happen but they are rare and children still need to start developing some independence despite some small risks.

You were 14 and walking home from school, should teenagers not be allowed to travel to/from school alone?

Dc2 is in yr4 & she goes to the village park by herself. It’s a 10 min walk along the main Road which we live along. She sometimes meets a friend or goes with her sibling who’s in yr5. They also go the village shop alone. She’s been walking & crossing the road which at times is busy since she was a toddler and has been taught to cross, stranger danger etc. It’s good for them, gaining independence & confidence. Yes there’s risks but there everywhere. We agree a time for her to come home and so far she’s been fine.

So you teach them to stay safe. Don't split off from the group, keep an eye on your friends, stick to the busy roads and don't wander off down quiet side streets, don't engage with strangers and if someone asks you to get in their car, run and head for anywhere you can see people. Putting aside the fact that the majority of abductions and abduction attempts are estranged parents, the most common age for an abduction or attempted abduction is 13. Adults are abducted too. You cannot indefinitely keep your child at home to avoid a tiny risk. You have to teach them to stay safe and defend themselves.

I wouldn't be letting my kids out that young on their own anywhere, especially near a busy road!
I wasn't even allowed to go to the shop behind my house alone till I was 11, and walk home from school til probably Year 7 age (late 90s early 2000s) my parents were protective and I'm glad they were.Too many are too lenient in my opinion and lives are precious and danger is everywhere sadly.

Everyone is shaped by their experience, if you had experience what I did you would feel the same.

Also professionally I have seen too much, worked with too many families destroyed by violent crime, seen the impact it has had on children. Sat in front of a convicted paedophile who was released after serving his sentence who showed no remorse and I believe, had every intention of reoffending and attacking another child. He threatened to attack me, and we were in a secure building with security guards right there, people like him are out there. The police and probation services are overwhelmed, they do not have the resources to monitor all those who are a known risk.

Also like I said the road situation and the near miss in my family is enough to give pause. Road accidents are way more common

My son is 9 (year 5) and has started walking home from school 3 times a week (his idea/choice). He loves the feeling of responsibility plus it's good exercise. He is very sensible though. I think children are capable of more than we think.