To think 8/9 year olds shouldn’t be doing this

Right oh...

🤷🏻‍♀️

Anyway I shall wish you all adieu adieu. Don’t worry about tearing me another one again as am off now and it’s not worth the finger taps! Thank goodness is Friday, everyone round to beerthief for a cold one. Cheers guys has been an interesting discussion board and plenty of food for thought x

My own experiences don’t apply everywhere and I haven’t claimed this. We’re on here discussing and sharing our experiences and thoughts.

It is very average where I live now, a normal UK town and no particular high or low crime. It’s not obviously unsafe for older children to go out but it is not something I would be happy taking the risk with but of course at some point they will go out.

Traffic is traffic, road safety is tricky as not everyone plays by the rules ie not paying attention, running reds, taking lives. Some roads are worse than others.

It is not a sweeping statement to say different locations make certain norms more prevalent and I am not basing parenting decisions based on location alone, no one does. We all make our own assessment as parents as to what is safe or not in any given circumstance. We are shaped by experiences good and bad and make parental decisions all the time and a lot of factors feed into this.

The police knocking scenario is tongue in cheek, I honestly found the examples of children (and we are talking primary aged children on this thread, not teens) going out alone in the dark to parks by themselves in mid winter unrealistic. Hence the unrealistic police encounter. The whole thing is ridiculous soup so please don’t bust a gut over a comical crouton.

As has been pointed out many times by various posters, there are areas in the UK where the social norms and cultures are such that 8 year olds walking up the road and going out to play is fine and normal. Your own area and experiences do not apply everywhere. And many have claimed its neglectful because of their own standards, so I thought I'd point out that other standards would hold their parenting as neglectful so they might think again about what they are saying.

Eight is too young to cope with the scenario laid out by the OP.
Obviously kids need freedom to live and learn, but it's the parents responsibility, not to mention duty, to gradually give them the freedom they can cope with.
In my opinion, eight year old are too young to negotiate walking alone along a busy road where speeders drive.

It is neglectful. I agree.

different countries have different cultures and social norms so not really transferable to UK

plenty of vaping youths down there and people drinking and muttering to themselves

Normally there’s a few dogs off lead and when we hear them barking that they’re probably them on the chase again

the police would take a dim view of any parent allowing a child out in the dark by themselves and would probably be prosecuted for negligence or more

All sweeping, incorrect statements about the UK based on where you happen to live.

Like I say, I'm sorry your kids can't go out by themselves because of where you live. That's a sin for them, but it's not representative of the UK as a whole.

Which part of my reply is a sweeping statement exactly??

Also I don’t live in a particularly rough area, just an average town.

Best not to make sweeping statements about communities in the UK where 8 and 9 year olds do play out by themselves, based on what it's like where you live. It's a shame for your kids and their friends, but there are plenty of places up and down the country where children don't have to live like that.

A bit of artistic license is fun though 😁

Cross country skiing sounds gorgeous and I imagine you live in some kind of Nordic dream but different countries have different cultures and social norms so not really transferable to UK. It’s great kids have more Independence where you are but, for the many various reasons we’ve discussed on here safety can’t just be assumed. I think parents instincts for safe boundaries is a good gauge, none of us walk around with a load of stats but you can read a situation and make a decision based on observation.

Yeah where we lived before was turning quite badgers arsehole like, there are plenty of places that n the UK with crime and social problems though. It’s the UK innit

I think where I live you're more likely to be judged for not letting your children out to play. Maybe at 8 years old they won't judge so much but at 9 they are expected to have a certain level of independence (at that age school will send them out orienteering and cross country skiing without a teacher with them so the teacher needs to trust that they can cope with that) and if you haven't helped them develop that as a parent then you might get viewed as neglecting your duties. So I wonder how some posters might feel knowing that they could be considered neglectful.

Where do you stay?

Sounds rough as a badger's arsehole. I'd move.

Imagine is very accurate.

Yes, here in the UK I think it is perfectly reasonable to imagine a dialogue with the police would go something like this:

”Ello, ello ello (lol) Mrs M, I understand little Johnny is missing “

”Yes Officer, thank goodness you’re here”

”Can you tell me what happened”

”Yes, so I picked up little Johnny from school as usual..

(Honestly I just find the timings weird here)

..let him dump his school bags quickly down, have a wee, then straight back out again to head off to the swings by himself in the dark, as we usually do.

“..Right, uhh”

”It’s not a problem actually as there’s always plenty of vaping youths down there and people drinking and muttering to themselves to keep an eye on him. The busy road is a wonderful learning opportunity for him, like a real life game of Frogger and he always really feels SUCH a sense of achievement after he’s dodged a few cars. It’s normally pitch black half an hour after he gets to the park but it makes is so much more exciting when he can’t find his way off the climbing frames or really see the play equipment at all, but we feed him plenty of carrots to sharpen his night vision, safety first and all that. Normally there’s a few dogs off lead and when we hear them barking that they’re probably them on the chase again, oh the fun they have with little Johnny and his friends. That’s normally our signal to get his dinner on and pop the fish fingers in the oven. But today (sobs) Oh Officer he didn’t come home!!”

It does take all sorts, we can agree on that.🙂

Of course some things are made up. It’s a poor argument to bring it up just because someone disagrees with you though.

It’s also perfectly possible that someone simply has a different opinion.

I guarantee you that I, and many other posters on this thread, are as baffled by your opinion as you are by ours.

I think allowing 8 and 9 year olds to walk ten minutes from their house for a kickabout with friends is pretty modest on the scale of laissez-faire parenting. It's certainly the norm where I live.

But clearly there are people out there who consider it tantamount to child neglect.

Takes all sorts I suppose.

I agree with Mumtumtastic, in my opinion (and everyone is entitled to an opinion) a lot of stuff of MN is made up. I started a thread on it when I was new here, (a few weeks ago) and most agreed.

Re this thread, I am pretty shocked that so many posters are of the opinion that it's fine for young children to have the sort of freedom I, and many others, would think they were not equipped to deal with yet.
Maybe some of these posters don't have children, maybe they are neglectful of their child's safety, maybe they genuinely believe that an 8-year-old can cope with most of the things they are saying.

There's no right answer, OP. You probably won't feel comfortable letting him out next year, or the year after, because the risk won't go away. The main problem is other and older kids, and that will still be an issue when he's 17. At some point you just have to go with it, and console yourself that he won't learn to deal with dangers until he's confronting them.

I am 60 and was a latchkey child, out and about from 7. Yes, bad things happened, they always do. Most of the time they can be handled, sometimes they can not.

I wouldn't judge you either way on this one. But yes, motherhood is terrifying!

I find it bizarre that you think things that you don't experience in your life and your community are "made up", all while making up your own claims that parents will be prosecuted for letting children play out when it's dark.

"Young" is a relative word. An 8 or 9 year old is not too young to walk ten minutes away from their home to play football. You might choose not to let them do that, but that doesn't mean plenty of other people don't, and that their children are more than capable.

An 8 year old is too young to do many things, but this isn't one of them.

So now people are lying about what they allow/would allow simply because they disagree with you?

Mini blondes is in yr 3

im not sure I would be happy with her doing this in a years time

Most of us do not let young children out on their own.

MN is a weird microcosm where all sorts of claims are made (up) and would never be the norm IRL

@Mumtumtastic

It is a risk most parents would not take and quite frankly, I think the police would take a dim view of any parent allowing a child out in the dark by themselves and would probably be prosecuted for negligence or more if that child came to harm.

It's dark at 4pm in Scotland in the winter. Of course children still play out. And of course the police wouldn't prosecute the parents for negligence for this.