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Original poster

To wonder how the hell my dd has done this?

242 replies

MamaConchy · 19/01/2025 13:36

Posting for traffic and I need some iPhone tech help!

Last night my DD age 14 was severely in the dog house and one of the punishments I have given her is to remove her screentime. Unfortunately after I’d retrieved her and dropped her home, I had to leave again for work and I won’t be back home until this evening. Adult DD was also home so she wasn’t alone.

I’ve set her screentime so that it’s basically switched off all day, every day, and her phone is blocked. But I’ve just had a look and somehow the little shit has been online for over 4 hours today (I turned her screentime off around 9pm last night). She will still be asleep now so presumably she was somehow on her phone from midnight until 4am for her to be online today for 4 hours.

I am planning on physically taking her phone away from her when I get home but I’d like to know how she’s getting around the screentime thing.

To wonder how the hell my dd has done this?
OP posts:
ThatAmberLemur · 19/01/2025 17:00

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linelgreen · 19/01/2025 16:52

seems more concerning that prior to this she was on her phone for nearly 16 hours in one day!

Sixtygoingonthirty · 19/01/2025 16:47

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Wtaf? All you’ve done is constantly criticise or ask judgmental questions. And all between polishing your ‘parent of the year’ trophy.

HeadacheEarthquake · 19/01/2025 16:46

MyrtleLion · 19/01/2025 16:14

Thank you for your contribution.

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You're very welcome. Hopefully you take it on board.

Mynewnameis · 19/01/2025 16:41

My child managed to get around my inbuilt parent controls when they were about 7, by resetting the clock or similar. Maybe even just rebooting.

Family link seems better. I can lock her phone instantly.

Can you control the WiFi?

MrsSunshine2b · 19/01/2025 16:37

ThatFluentTiger · 19/01/2025 16:36

Reported, I hope your awful comments are deleted. PDA is a recognised disability, you are bordering on ableist. You wouldn’t say any such stupid things to someone with a physical disability. Absolutely shame on you, disgusting.

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Don't try and take the moral high ground when your child is spending 16 hours a day on a phone.

ThatFluentTiger · 19/01/2025 16:36

MrsSunshine2b · 19/01/2025 16:34

If by "really nice person" you mean the kind of person who would allow my child to opt out of going to school because she doesn't like it, then no, I'm not a really nice person.

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Reported, I hope your awful comments are deleted. PDA is a recognised disability, you are bordering on ableist. You wouldn’t say any such stupid things to someone with a physical disability. Absolutely shame on you, disgusting.

HollyKnight · 19/01/2025 16:35

MrsSunshine2b · 19/01/2025 16:33

Hmm, what productive activity could a 14 year old be doing in the day between 9am and 3pm, Mon-Fri? I just can't think.

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*an Autistic 14-year-old with PDA

ruethewhirl · 19/01/2025 16:35

RandomButtons · 19/01/2025 13:39

iPhones are notorious for having easy hacks.

If you want her off it you’ll have to take it away.

Calling her a little sh*t doesn’t really make you look good here.

Newsflash: sometimes kids/teens can be little shits. Just like adults can.

MrsSunshine2b · 19/01/2025 16:34

ThatFluentTiger · 19/01/2025 16:31

Wow, the absolute ignorance. I can imagine you’re a really nice person.

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If by "really nice person" you mean the kind of person who would allow my child to opt out of going to school because she doesn't like it, then no, I'm not a really nice person.

MrsSunshine2b · 19/01/2025 16:33

Nanny0gg · 19/01/2025 16:24

But you've not suggested what she could be doing?

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Hmm, what productive activity could a 14 year old be doing in the day between 9am and 3pm, Mon-Fri? I just can't think.

ThatFluentTiger · 19/01/2025 16:31

MrsSunshine2b · 19/01/2025 16:30

Amazing that she can cope with getting public transport into town to meet friends, can cope with finding her way to the house of strangers she meets online, but cannot cope with a day in school.

Wow, the absolute ignorance. I can imagine you’re a really nice person.

Magamaga · 19/01/2025 16:30

RandomButtons · 19/01/2025 13:39

iPhones are notorious for having easy hacks.

If you want her off it you’ll have to take it away.

Calling her a little sh*t doesn’t really make you look good here.

Nah, I am a really gentle parent, bf and cosleeping until 3 1/2 style but we all need to vent out of ear shot of our children. Calling your child at little shit when they can hear is a problem when they can’t is fine.

MrsSunshine2b · 19/01/2025 16:30

Amazing that she can cope with getting public transport into town to meet friends, can cope with finding her way to the house of strangers she meets online, but cannot cope with a day in school.

HipToTheHopDontStop · 19/01/2025 16:27

RandomButtons · 19/01/2025 13:39

iPhones are notorious for having easy hacks.

If you want her off it you’ll have to take it away.

Calling her a little sh*t doesn’t really make you look good here.

Doesn't make her look bad either. Nothing wrong with calling them little shits when they are being little shits.

ThatFluentTiger · 19/01/2025 16:25

I’m on that fb group OP, I also have a sen teenager who isn’t able to attend school and isn’t getting any kind of education (not through lack of trying and tears and begging the LA). You have my utmost sympathy.

Glittertwins · 19/01/2025 16:25

I find iPhone settings are rubbish and the settings do not stay in place. I have done what Apple suggest and it still doesn't stay set up on one iPhone but is okay on the other.
Make sure the device you are using to turn it on/off is the same iOS as her phone.
Make sure she cannot change account settings such as the time on her phone.
You might need to remove all settings from her phone, using her phone and then set it all back up again.

Nanny0gg · 19/01/2025 16:24

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Seriously?

You think that's a plan?

Nanny0gg · 19/01/2025 16:24

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But you've not suggested what she could be doing?

HollyKnight · 19/01/2025 16:23

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That's the thing, in NT children too much time on devices can lead to behavioural problems, but in ND children (and adults) devices are often what keeps them regulated. Taking that away from a child who needs that form of stimulation can lead to more behavioural problems. It will just add to their stress and also their parents' who have to deal with the resulting meltdowns.

Sux2buthen · 19/01/2025 16:19

As per people focusing on an off the cuff frustrated comment instead of the question asked Hmm

Spondoolie · 19/01/2025 16:19

Hey 👋🏼

PDA mum saying hi

No one has ANY idea what its like. I often find myself thinking that mid-meltdown. Sending love

i can only imagine she knows the PIN XX

ThatAmberLemur · 19/01/2025 16:16

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MyrtleLion · 19/01/2025 16:14

HeadacheEarthquake · 19/01/2025 15:56

Fucking hell, not only are you completely missing the point of the post, you're showing yourself up.

Lots of people call their kids all sorts. It's completely in jest - you need to get out more and lighten up!

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Thank you for your contribution.

arcticpandas · 19/01/2025 16:11

@MamaConchy Sorry OP. This is hard for you and people don't get how hard it is when you have a SEN teen who refuses to go to school. Mine was home for 18 months and luckily I could be home with him while my DH worked. I can't imagine doing it all by myself and people who don't know should not judge! You do need some help, that's for sure. My son is in SEN setting now and doing much better. I can breathe.. Is there no SEN schools in your area?