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Original poster

To wonder how the hell my dd has done this?

242 replies

MamaConchy · 19/01/2025 13:36

Posting for traffic and I need some iPhone tech help!

Last night my DD age 14 was severely in the dog house and one of the punishments I have given her is to remove her screentime. Unfortunately after I’d retrieved her and dropped her home, I had to leave again for work and I won’t be back home until this evening. Adult DD was also home so she wasn’t alone.

I’ve set her screentime so that it’s basically switched off all day, every day, and her phone is blocked. But I’ve just had a look and somehow the little shit has been online for over 4 hours today (I turned her screentime off around 9pm last night). She will still be asleep now so presumably she was somehow on her phone from midnight until 4am for her to be online today for 4 hours.

I am planning on physically taking her phone away from her when I get home but I’d like to know how she’s getting around the screentime thing.

To wonder how the hell my dd has done this?
OP posts:
ihatetaxreturns · 19/01/2025 18:48

RandomButtons · 19/01/2025 13:39

iPhones are notorious for having easy hacks.

If you want her off it you’ll have to take it away.

Calling her a little sh*t doesn’t really make you look good here.

She is a little shit and a sneaky one

JayJayEl · 19/01/2025 18:48

Didshejustsaythatoutloud · 19/01/2025 17:55

Sometimes they are little shits

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Haha. Absolutely! My work friends and I have started a club called 'The A Team'. A = arsehole and we begin each shift by asking one another if the kids are in "The A Team" today/last night, and if so is it with a lowercase a or a massive capital A. Knowing other people's kids are being little twats certainly helps, and what started as a Toddler Parent club has now branched out to those parents with teens and even young adults. 😅

Startinganew32 · 19/01/2025 18:45

MrsSunshine2b · 19/01/2025 17:15

I'm sorry but it's ludicrous. A child being able to happily make their way around the local area, meeting up with randomers from the internet and hanging out in town centres, but not able to manage school. Of course she finds spending a day in a structured environment hard when she's spending nearly all of her waking time glued to a device, no wonder she's suffering withdrawals when she can't spend all day scrolling. 20 years ago, if you said you didn't want to go to school, your Mum said, "That's nice dear, now get your uniform on or you'll be going in your pyjamas." And that was the end of that.

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Total bollocks about the school thing. I knew several school refusers and this is going back 25 years.

OnePeppyDenimHelper · 19/01/2025 18:41

Ugh😰 Your language..

Glittertwins · 19/01/2025 18:38

And clean your screen off so they can't see the pattern of the pass key on the screen. Learned that the hard way with my pair!

stayathomer · 19/01/2025 18:37

Ds installed the app on his phone and logged in as us so approved his time. A few years ago now so don’t know if this is still possible!

MuchTooTired · 19/01/2025 18:29

My 6 year old got round hers too, then shared it with her twin 😂

Still not 100% sure how she did it, I’m guessing she guessed the password? Could your DD have done that too?

I’d be going with a good old fashioned removal to some secret location in future…

Jingleballsup · 19/01/2025 18:16

Don't take the phone...discreetly hide ALL the chargers ... 😉

Nanny0gg · 19/01/2025 17:58

MrsSunshine2b · 19/01/2025 16:34

If by "really nice person" you mean the kind of person who would allow my child to opt out of going to school because she doesn't like it, then no, I'm not a really nice person.

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Can't argue with that.

You're not.

Nanny0gg · 19/01/2025 17:56

MrsSunshine2b · 19/01/2025 17:15

I'm sorry but it's ludicrous. A child being able to happily make their way around the local area, meeting up with randomers from the internet and hanging out in town centres, but not able to manage school. Of course she finds spending a day in a structured environment hard when she's spending nearly all of her waking time glued to a device, no wonder she's suffering withdrawals when she can't spend all day scrolling. 20 years ago, if you said you didn't want to go to school, your Mum said, "That's nice dear, now get your uniform on or you'll be going in your pyjamas." And that was the end of that.

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You haven't got a fucking clue

And I say that as someone who only had to cope with a PDA child (who did go to school) for an hour every now and again.

They aren't being 'naughty' or 'defiant'. And you can't MAKE them do anything

Didshejustsaythatoutloud · 19/01/2025 17:55

RandomButtons · 19/01/2025 13:39

iPhones are notorious for having easy hacks.

If you want her off it you’ll have to take it away.

Calling her a little sh*t doesn’t really make you look good here.

Sometimes they are little shits

Nanny0gg · 19/01/2025 17:54

MrsSunshine2b · 19/01/2025 16:30

Amazing that she can cope with getting public transport into town to meet friends, can cope with finding her way to the house of strangers she meets online, but cannot cope with a day in school.

You really shouldn't comment without at least Googling some basic (very) info

Nanny0gg · 19/01/2025 17:51

MrsSunshine2b · 19/01/2025 16:33

Hmm, what productive activity could a 14 year old be doing in the day between 9am and 3pm, Mon-Fri? I just can't think.

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How much do you know about PDA?

BedisBliss · 19/01/2025 17:46

I don't know if you have abandoned the chat @MamaConchy but you sound like a good mum who is trying to do the best you can. It's hard, kids are hard - been there, done that and they have turned out just great. Ignore the people who 'know better'.

Ivesaidenough · 19/01/2025 17:44

Just in case this hasn't been mentioned already, we had exactly this with Family Link. Time should have been restricted to 1 hour, but he'd spent 4 hours online. It turned out to be because I'd given him unlimited access to some apps (e.g. WhatsApp so eh could contact us) and that overrides the time setting.
This was Android but I bet iPhone has something similar.

MyrtleLion · 19/01/2025 17:25

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Thanks for the insult.

The vinegar tone was especially kind.

WishinAndHopin · 19/01/2025 17:23

This reply has been deleted

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HollyKnight · 19/01/2025 17:22

It's wild that people still think you can just discipline autism out of a person.

HollyKnight · 19/01/2025 17:21

20 years ago, if you said you didn't want to go to school, your Mum said, "That's nice dear, now get your uniform on or you'll be going in your pyjamas." And that was the end of that.

That was me 30 years ago. My mum got as far as pushing me out the door. I just sat on the doorstep crying. There is no actual physical way you can force a teenager to go to school if they refuse to go.

MrsSunshine2b · 19/01/2025 17:15

arcticpandas · 19/01/2025 17:00

I think it would be better if NOONE took the moral high ground and focus on giving useful suggestions to OP instead of telling her what a shit mum she is.

Show quote history

I'm sorry but it's ludicrous. A child being able to happily make their way around the local area, meeting up with randomers from the internet and hanging out in town centres, but not able to manage school. Of course she finds spending a day in a structured environment hard when she's spending nearly all of her waking time glued to a device, no wonder she's suffering withdrawals when she can't spend all day scrolling. 20 years ago, if you said you didn't want to go to school, your Mum said, "That's nice dear, now get your uniform on or you'll be going in your pyjamas." And that was the end of that.

Hildabaggins · 19/01/2025 17:09

My DD has been known to change the time zone on her phone so she can get access to stuff during her downtime.

ThatAmberLemur · 19/01/2025 17:02

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

BrightYellowTrain · 19/01/2025 17:01

If DD can’t attend school, have you requested alternative provision under section 19 of the Education Act 1996? On, their website, IPSEA has a model letter you can use. This is separate to the EHCP process.

When was the LA’s refusal to assess? Did you appeal?

arcticpandas · 19/01/2025 17:00

MrsSunshine2b · 19/01/2025 16:37

Don't try and take the moral high ground when your child is spending 16 hours a day on a phone.

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I think it would be better if NOONE took the moral high ground and focus on giving useful suggestions to OP instead of telling her what a shit mum she is.

ERthree · 19/01/2025 17:00

RandomButtons · 19/01/2025 13:39

iPhones are notorious for having easy hacks.

If you want her off it you’ll have to take it away.

Calling her a little sh*t doesn’t really make you look good here.

Maybe little angel would be better.