Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Best response to MIL telling me to clean less?

137 replies

roses2 · 19/01/2025 12:32

MIL is a staying for 5 weeks (a whole other thread). I like a clean house. I will sweep the kitchen floor every day after dinner, and once per week hoover the hallway in between the weekly cleaner visit and wipe down kitchen counters.

Her house is dirty and cluttered. She’s asking me why do I clean so much, it’s pointless. Not to me it’s not. She’s just used to living in a house with 50 years of dust build up and cupboards full of items she never uses.

Her comments about me cleaning are driving me insane.

mumsnet people what is the best response without outright me telling her that her standards are filthy?

OP posts:
Doloresparton · 19/01/2025 12:52

I’d turn it back on her
’Why don’t you clean at all.’

pizzaHeart · 19/01/2025 12:50

I really like @LittleRedYarny response but my own experience with my own mum says me that any humour/ sarcasm/ hinting in this situation is pointless. I would just stick to a plain response along the lines “ I like my house to be clean”.
I suspect that it’s not about different standards of cleaning, she thinks that her standards are the right one so it’s a personality trait rather then genuine curiosity why you are cleaning here and there. If you stop cleaning she will comment on something else, so I will aim to stop commenting rather than to stop commenting about cleaning.

Screamingabdabz · 19/01/2025 12:46

TheThreeMiracles · 19/01/2025 12:41

Sorry but I did laugh at " dh hates living in a shit hole having grown up in one " classic that would shut her right up 😂😂

But if that were the case, he’d clean it himself. Unless this is one of those 1950s households? I don’t think this is cool answer you think it is. More trad-wife tragic imo.

TangerineClementine · 19/01/2025 12:43

Sparkletastic · 19/01/2025 12:39

'I prefer to live in a clean and tidy house'

Say the exact same thing every time she comments.

This

LittleRedYarny · 19/01/2025 12:42

I would just say “Ah well keeps me off the streets and causing mischief” then ask if she’d like to help. That will quickly make her go in another room.

redastherose · 19/01/2025 12:42

I don't know why you can't just say 'I think I clean an average sort of amount and it's how I like my home to look for me to be comfortable living in it.'

You don't sound like you are over cleaning, I have an Eufy that vacuums and mops all of my downstairs rooms every day because I have two large dogs bringing mud in from the garden and 3 cats running around and mopping less frequently would result in a filthy house especially at this time of year.

TheThreeMiracles · 19/01/2025 12:41

Sorry but I did laugh at " dh hates living in a shit hole having grown up in one " classic that would shut her right up 😂😂

Soonenough · 19/01/2025 12:40

I find a cluttered and untidy house leads to cluttered and untidy mind .

chelseahealyslips · 19/01/2025 12:40

"Mind your own business you miserable old bat"

"I just don't like a messy house MIL" and repeat.

midgetastic · 19/01/2025 12:39

No, no , you mustn't do it

Sparkletastic · 19/01/2025 12:39

'I prefer to live in a clean and tidy house'

Say the exact same thing every time she comments.

Trumptonagain · 19/01/2025 12:38

Either keep it simple...
"Each to their own MIL...it's nice to have a clean environment"...

Or.
"DH hates living in a shit hole having grown up doing so".

Swipe left for the next trending thread