Time off for GPs death

no Right or wrong even if there is a usual. It really should be asking the nearest relative what they need. Sad for tyour DH if feeling pushed out, but he would need to be assertive (if he can given the grief).

If not now I’m sure that his mother will need support in months or years so if relatives have used theirs maybe DH can be there when other support of friends will reduce.

I can’t imagine taking more than a day or two off unless it was an immediate family death

however my grandparents died when I was a child, so have no experience of losing a GP as an adult.

Seems a bit strange to me. When my grandmother died at 92 I had the day of the funeral off, and a day either side for the travelling. I think for the travelling days I had to use annual leave. I wasn’t involved in any of the post-death practicalities though.

That does sound odd. It might be different if your DH and his sister weren't around but, given they are, what is there realistically for the GC to do?

I don’t know I had two weeks off when my grandma died. Even though we knew it was coming it absolutely floored us and my mum went to pieces.

It’s not even your parent or grandparent that’s died, YAB so unreasonable to make judgement on how they handle it. It’s a shame for your DH that he doesn’t feel wanted, but how they handle their grief is totally personal and up to them, hopefully you keep your unfair judgements to yourself.

Seems OTT to me. I only took 2 days off when my own father died - that day and the funeral. I worked from my mum's as much as I could but her internet is crap, so it wasn't every day or full days.

We used to get 3 days paid for a relative, anything else would be taken as holiday.

Although I suspect it was paid for longer, at the discretion of HR, in cases of spouse, children or parent.

Has anyone asked the widow what she wants? I could see having such a full house being very overwhelming when she is grieving!

When DH’s grandad died he took the day off that he’d died, and a day for the funeral.

In contrast, SIL took several months off work, her extreme grief and bereavement coincidentally ended the day she was due to go onto half pay rather than full pay. She works for the NHS and milks any paid time off for all it’s worth.

DH took the view that whilst he was very sad, it was not unexpected or traumatic that his 88 year old grandad died peacefully following a short illness and he didn’t require months, like SIL, to process it and grieve.

There is no 'standard' when it comes to a shocking sudden death, grief and families.

And nor should there be.

Sounds a bit unusual, didn’t occur to me to take any time off other than the funeral when my GPs died. I think I had an hour or so’s break when I got the news. Although particularly my grandad would have disapproved of any time off if he died, he’d have said ‘you’re not dead are you? get back to work!’ So his influence would have been there too!

Yeah, that sounds excessive. I wouldn’t really expect more than time for the funeral off work for a grandparent.