To think we're going to have a generation of adults unable to socialise?

I also think that we need to remember once upon a time TV watching was blamed for all sorts of problems. Certain types of music before that. Now it’s phone/tablets. When actually that’s a lazy assumption and the truth is so complex as to why people are lonely or anti-social, and I think phones are perhaps a tiny party of the problem.

I don’t really understand this post - should parents be forever talking to their kids in prams? Mine are out the pram stages now but aside from the fact I’d have to shout through a busy town centre, it would have overstimulated them.

I was once pushing a pram with DS in and as we were visiting a nearby city I was on my phone booking our return train. An older woman said to her friend “They’re even glued to their phones when pushing prams!”. I stopped and asked her if she had a problem, and if so to discuss it with me directly rather than making comments to her mate. She soon stuttered and scuttled off. Perhaps think before judging that EVERYTHING, even booking transport, or sorting tickets, or reserving a space on somewhere to eat, involves a phone. Or did you think everyone was just on TikTok all the time?

IPods? Have you travelled in time from 2008?

But YABU. Adults go on their phones during meals and they are still socialising. Expecting kids to do nothing but engage in adult conversation for hours is a bit unrealistic.

I really don’t understand why someone cares how another person raises their kid. My kids have had iPads in restaurants now and again. Not sorry and no fucks given. No different from having colouring to do.

I would question though if it is addictive and if everyone is living their best lives/getting joy from scrolling phones

What is "living your best life" though?

Most of us can't spend our lives doing things that bring us joy - we have jobs, children, responsibilities - so if using a phone gives someone a bit of a break from the mundane, who is anyone else to judge that?

I think, considering all of the distractions of the past are still available, that phones/tech are a level of addiction beyond reading or colouring. People are on phones scrolling, not sitting around colouring or even reading a book.
Reading this thread it seems a lot of adults are fine with kids and adults using a lot of tech. I might have judged this but I am going to try not to in future.
It wouldn't be my choice for how people live/interact but it clearly works for some people and is not my business.
I would question though if it is addictive and if everyone is living their best lives/getting joy from scrolling phones. And if it is replacing other more varied activities.
Personally I use screens too much and I think my teenagers do as well. When I asked DS (15) what his friends who weren't gaming were doing "right now", he said "probably drinking vodka in the park". So.....
It's all about balance for me and the people around me.

This sounds like a "back in my day" thing, I remember when I was a kid when smartphones didn't exist seeing people in restaurants or on the bus with newspapers and books and the children sat with a colouring book doing their own thing, so just because it's a device doesn't make it any worse than that, a lot of the kids I've seen are doing an activity on the tablet like colouring so I don't see how that's any different to giving them a colouring book and pencils, not to mention some children struggle in those environments so giving them their device is a comfort to them, you only see a small amount of someone's day so you don't see the occasions where they are interacting with each other

I have a desktop but not a mobile phone.This means when I'm out and about I look at people and they tend to smile and nod at least. On the common, in the dark early mornings with the dog I always say "morning." Those with the earphones don't respond, of course.

I wouldn't be too sure about the 99% interacting. If you add up the time each individual spends on their screen, it doesn't leave much time over. I think the average for teenagers is 4 hiurs/day as in 8till midnight. Scary!

No really, I work in a place where sometimes we have downtime, waiting for an appointment or something and they actually message each other..
It's rather rude BC you can only assume it's something they wouldn't say to your face but probably better than whispering.

We already have a generation of adults that are antisocial, I've observed whole families not interacting, looking at their phones and children on ipads. We've never been so well connected but people claim to be so lonely, today's young parents are a completely different breed when it comes to bringing up children and their attitude towards relationships, but sitting using devices most of the day is fine.

Perhaps the elderly woman who might have liked to chat to the person next to her who is busy on their phone might think technology has contributed to her loneliness, but her seatmates, an autistic teenage boy chatting to his first ever friend (who happens to live 5000 miles away) about their shared interest, or the mum for whom being able to send her emails while traveling, and thus leave the office half an hour earlier, or do the weekly shop from her phone, makes the difference between seeing her child before they go to bed every evening, or meeting up with a friend for a coffee, thinks it's hugely benefitted them - because it enables them to spend time socialising with people they know and like over chatting to strangers.

This can't be emphasised enough. Great post.

I agree. My son was a quiet child with few friends. He really struggled with making friends in person, smalltalk etc. He found it really hard starting uni in 2020 with the covid restrictions and not having any opportunity to make friends with his flatmates nor do any socialising. Having his smart phone was a godsend as he “socialised” via his phone and bonded with his flatmates whilst at home between Xmas and Easter 21 when uni students were sent home - they’d setup chat groups and really gelled when they weren’t there! Same happened with other interests such as supporting our local footie team - couldn’t watch games in person so loads of web chats were set up where he could join lots of different ones to gain virtual friends. He’s now got friends all over the country and travels around a lot to meet and stay with them, including lots of people he’d never have got to know inreal life only. It’s really good for the ones who don’t make friends randomly in person. Wish we’d had it 50/years ago!

I'm not in the UK but people here do still chat to complete strangers. Not everyone obviously, but social chit chat is a feature of life here.

We pretty much already have one unfortunately 😔

Absolutely right, education and communication begins at home!

This is something I've pondered as well. At a big family party last week 5 kids were sat on the floor next to different plug sockets to keep their gadgets charged! Was a sight that did actually shock me a bit.

Haha yeh I wouldn't be surprised but you can see movement from alot of screens. Netflix or Tt or something similar

The parent may well have been talking to their child all day, the bus is a time they can just have some down time as it's the only time their child will sit quietly.

Nope.

I think we have older generations of people who blame phones for everything.

Back in the day. Before phones, kids were still ignored in restaurants, we just gave them colouring books or toys instead.

When I was younger and out with adults, we were just expected to sit bored out of our skulls, listening to the adults drone on about crap. Thankfully we didn't go out very much as it was less affordable.

Parents can't win, kids get whiny and loud, people complain, kids given tech, people complain.

DD spoke early so we were able to have conversations with her when out, but even then she could only do that for so long. We always had puzzles or colouring for her to do instead.

How about we leave people to do what works for them and stop making sweeping, baseless statements?

But you know alot of them are messaging each other with bitchy comments about their colleagues..

Ow that's harsh, I remember it too. In fact my earliest convos were on random buses with Grandma's and Being allowed to talk to strangers.

My colleague and I were just talking about this. 10 years ago there was so much noise in the work rest rooms, so much laughter and chitter chatter but now silence... everyone is on their phone. It's quite sad how much things have changed. I worry for our children.

I see so many adults and parents out and about looking at their screens, I'm not surprised that young children are doing the same. The children are merely copying the adults' behaviour.

In the past, we hadn't yet tried to emulate America and its car-is-king mentality so it was reasonable to let your kids outdoors to play in the local area. These days, motor vehicles have taken over our towns and cities and the freedom of children has been an externalised cost. What reaction would a parent get if they admitted they allow their kids to cycle on the road, yet that was normal 70-ish years ago?

That has never happened in my lifetime, and I was born and brought up in the north, supposedly the friendlier part of England. Sounds like the romanticised situation in a smal rural village where everyone knows each other rather than the big city I lived in.

Speaking for myself, I have always been shy/introverted and keep myself to myself generally unless the situation dictates otherwise. When I am commuting, I use my phone to play games to pass the time (silently of course). What is the problem with that, I'm on my way to/from work and I have seen the view out of the window a hundred times or more, why shouldn't I idle away a usually unproductive hour? It is no more antisocial than reading a book or listening to music with earphones. I'm not glued to my phone the rest of the time, it is merely a tool to assist with certain things like communication and navigation, much of the time I don't have it on me when out and about. I have hobby and community groups which meet my need for human interaction.