To think we're going to have a generation of adults unable to socialise?

Completely agree, I try not to judge people from one snapshot of their day. You don't walk in their shoes, nor know what is going on in their lives. Sure, it may just be ignorant, or it might be due to a whole host of other reasons. Life isn't black and white, please look for the grey.

Before electronics, I'm sure the older generation judged parents (probably some posting on this thread) who used colouring books/toys to entertain their children in public.

@Ladyluckinred observing my own child, the only screen-related thing I have observed which I am not happy about (and unsure how to manage in the longer term) is accessibility.

I agree when we had 5 channels it was easier - and there was a natural ‘end’ to the experience when whatever kids stuff was on ended.

Netlfix etc, with the ability to watch all 9000000 episodes of peppa pig, is more complicated because… it never stops does it. Theres no end other than you stopping it, the next one just starts. That’s the only time I’ve experienced difficult behaviour around screens.

I also think some of the kids programmes are nonsense and designed for the dopamine hit. I’m not a fan of coco melon etc for this reason. YouTube Kids terrible as it seems to revert to this kind of content.

If we do any TV now, it’s usually CBeebies but live tv. This means the programmes change (less obsessional?) and they don’t just get transfixed.

To me it’s very different. A knock on the door could be someone who then invades your personal space at an inconvenient time, a call you don’t answer could be your boss calling outside of work hours etc . That’s a communication deficit of the person who is trying to initiate contact inappropriately not a negative on the person who has boundaries and isn’t afraid to say no to maintain those and to avoid being a yes person who then gets overwhelmed.

Always the same the world moves on regardless.

@Posithor oh bless you, you take that ten minutes unapologetically. Let’s face it, if iPhones were around when I was younger, my Mum would not have hesitated to give it to me. The previous generation were not morally superior, they just didn’t have the technology. That’s my hot take anyway!

Maintaining boundaries isn’t the same as not socialising.

What's the difference?

If it's acceptable to ignore someone knocking on your door, why can't it also be acceptable to ignore someone talking to you in person?

Well, quite.

I find threads like this amusing - they're full of grown adults who spend hours on the internet complaining about children spending hours on the internet 🤦‍♀️

Let's face it, there have always been shit parents who ignore their kids. Screens are just a quick and easy thing for other people to judge.

My two kids go to restaurants quite regularly - sometimes they colour, sometimes we play games.
Yesterday they had both been, for want of a better word feral. Had we not already booked I'd never have taken them out. I was at the end of my tether, as was my husband (he was also having to put up with his incredibly short tempered 38 weeks pregnant wife, poor guy). They sat quietly and played on their tablets with headphones on while we hardly spoke to each other and definitely were on our phones for a good ten mins decompressing.
When the food came all electronics were away and we spoke to each other again like normal unzombified family who had an amazing night's sleep.
You don't know what people have been through before they go out. I felt guilty in the car on the way home, thinking about how people like you would have judged me (and I in a previous life would have judged too) and then I realised just how much I'd enjoyed sitting in blissful silence, sue me 😂

Maintaining boundaries isn’t the same as not socialising.

I didn't say I was dissatisfied or wanting for anything, did I?

I agree, there was no such thing as screen time limits when I was young. However, we were also very limited with what we could watch with only 5 channels and no chance of instantly watching what we fancied. A lot more boredom and so kids would naturally meet up with friends, find other activities to do. Now parents have to be very intentional with screen time limits and as you say, many parents are very conscious about this and keep a firm boundary.

Ironically, it’s the previous generation who were a lot more social (because of lack of technology), that pass phones, iPads etc. to their kids. So it’s certainly not the next generations fault, it’s ours. I include tech firms, big advertisers etc. in that too who target this age range.

Parents who manage their child’s tech exposure are often in the minority, as are their children. Everything advances whether we want it to or not. My children are still quite young so far easier to manage, it’s the parents of pre-teens/teenagers that are really fighting that battle at the moment.

I think society has just completely changed. My dd aged 21 rarely goes out. She has friends but they all talk to each other via social media, messaging etc. It’s rare that they actually make plans to see each other. They don’t really date, don’t even seem all that interested in relationships / sex etc. These are all academic people in their early twenties at university. You’d think they’d be out socialising / networking all the time. It’s just so different to when I was that age. Everything has moved online, dd has managed to do most of her university studies (Nottingham) online and hardly ever physically went anywhere. It’s so easy to just shut yourself off now. And that’s what everyone she knows seems to do. They’re not depressed about it, it’s just normal for them.

When I was a teenager my DM would threaten to cal the fire brigade because my head would be stuck in a book too long. DF would sit whilst DM watched tv and read n a world of his own. Now we have phones.

The only thing I find anoying is when parents are clearly not paying attention especially near busy roads.

Considering the amount of people on here who won’t answer a phone or door, confirms it has already happened.

No one knows what is going on and what you see is a snapshot of that day.

I used to do alot with my dds when they were young, my husband worked long hours and it was just me doing the lions share of childcare. If we went to a park and they were playing, yes I sometimes sat on my phone to connect with people online as I otherwise might not have spoken to anyone other than my dd that day. And we often used to spend time watching films together which is still screentime. That still is something we all enjoy doing together now. So not all screens are bad.

My dds are now teens but if anyone sees us travelling to days out or home again you might think we only use screens and ignore each other. The truth is after being around people all day it can be exhausting and over stimulating so we each take our down time on screens/with headphones while travelling. Everyone is much happier that way

Parents like that would have ignored their children either way though, I've seen it myself where even if they're not on their phone they barely mutter hello to their child.

@Nothatgingerpirate you seem to come on every thread to say how you have made great life choices, no?

I think my son's would get on well with yours!
My 20 year old wishes he was an 80's kid & my 14 year old wants to live on the moors off grid with his mates in a little community!😂

You are right, OP.
However, this situation doesn't bother me at all, for many reasons.
No children of my own, no pension needed to state just two.
Very fortunate and "lucky", or maybe practical and foreseeing.
It's easier as a PP said to communicate with virtual people and for the flakers to cancel on
the phone.
I'm at the age when I think if the future implodes onto itself, I won't be able to change it a bit.
😐

I hate this! I remember seeing parents plugged in, pushing prams when my child was a baby. It always seemed rude to me!

I think on the whole kids do more hobbies than they used to, though, so have a wider range of friends and acquaintances and get used to chatting with new kids.

Also parents at parks with toddlers just sitting on the Bench face in phone
sad

Before phones I remember when everyone would speak to each other on the bus regardless of whether they knew each other.

It's because of this that I will look at my phone or listen to music through headphones. I don't want random people talking to me on public transport I just want to be left alone.

Babies in buggies staring at iPads
kids coming out of school to be greeted by a parent with their face in their phone, barely even says hello key alone hugs them…..

dread to think what the future will be like tbh !!!!

makes me feel sad

Nobody is ignoring their child 24/7 for a phone.