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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

For keeping an order that I’ve received a refund for?

163 replies

Phallicfriday · 18/01/2025 20:20

Long story short. Ordered DH a fairly expensive tech item for his birthday from large retailer. Item didn’t arrive and when I chased the retailer it was presumed lost and they sent a replacement. It was supposed to be on next day delivery but this didn’t materialize either. Week later I call again to be told the item was detained by customs and it would be returned to the retailer. They point blank refused to send another item and instead only offered me a refund. Feeling very frustrated as I still had no birthday gift, I reluctantly accepted and ordered a replacement on Amazon (which I haven’t received yet either). Since receiving the refund, both the ‘missing’ orders have turned up. I am overseas and so I imagine it would be a hassle/expense for them to arrange a courier to collect them for return? AIBU for just keeping quiet and keeping both? Appreciate that this is morally ambiguous and I am quite sure I will get lots of mumsnetters up in arms at my morally bankrupt thought processes but they are a large company and surely will have insurance to cover such losses? And who really gives a flying fuck if the insurance company are out of pocket a few hundred quid when they rob the living daylights out of us all? My only concern is if they can track / trace that they have been delivered and force me to return / repay? What would you do?

OP posts:
pincklop · 19/01/2025 04:13

It's theft. If it's Amazon then keep it. I'm ok with that theft . Anyone else then would be inclined to do the right thing. Small businesses wouldnt consider ripping them off

EliflurtleAndTheInfiniteMadness · 19/01/2025 04:10

parietal · 18/01/2025 20:49

I'd tell the company. 99% of the time they will tell you to keep the item, even expensive things. If this is Amazon, think of the value of the company compared to you £2k laptop or whatever.

Amazon isn't just the one big company, individual traders who may well be small businesses use it as a platform to sell. If ifs Amazon OP could be stealing from a small business rather than a big company.

This isn't morally ambiguous OP, you've shown that you're only concern about committing theft is getting caught. The size of the company doesn't make a difference to morality and other shoppers ultimately the cost of theft not the company. More theft leads to higher prices.

maybelou · 19/01/2025 04:06

I'd definitely keep it and I'd be proud of my bargain 🤣

Mikiamo · 19/01/2025 04:02

I'd keep them. No qualms at all. After watching that documentary showing all the brand new things Amazon burns and trashes, they wouldn't give a crap about some random items.

Oakcupboard · 19/01/2025 04:01

Please don’t do this, I’m an online retailer. Once the delivery company provides evidence that it was delivered and not lost, the insurance will not cover it. (Like all regular insurance they are very strict).

They will find out as soon as they go to put a claim in (if not before) and I would imagine they follow it up - especially for a tech item. I know I would. I would call local police as it is theft and they have all the digital proof. You don’t want your name splashed over the local papers

aramox1 · 19/01/2025 03:53

It's wrong, and it's a present- why give someone a present that you didn't pay for?

Needspaceforlego · 19/01/2025 01:10

I'd get in touch with them. You never know if you'd want to do business with them again.

The other fear is the courier is the person who gets the blame - some poor sod could loose their job over it.

Clafoutie · 19/01/2025 00:22

Phallicfriday · 18/01/2025 21:29

Shops in every part of the country and huge online presence. Fairly large business 😂 Yes it is morally questionable but seriously is there really a victim other than the fat cat CEO who might get a few pence less in his enormous bonus?

Of course there is a victim. Someone, somewhere has to ‘pay’ for it, usually all the rest of us in price rises because so many people seem to think that if it is a’big business’ then it doesn’t matter. And, as others have said, the term ‘ morally questionable’ is disingenuous.It is theft, but since you’re ok with that, why not just own it, rather than suggesting there is ambiguity there.

PeppyGreenFinch · 18/01/2025 23:46

Phallicfriday · 18/01/2025 20:51

I’m not justifying it. As I said, I’ve made my peace with it, and don’t really care if anyone thinks I’m morally bankrupt. I’m more concerned if I’m likely to get caught 🤷‍♀️

That’s not what your OP said.

Karma will get you, you will lose MUCH more than you’ve gained here.

Curtainqueen · 18/01/2025 23:43

Obeseandashamed · 18/01/2025 20:32

My friend did this with a Dyson air wrap and they never contacted her 😬

Wonder what happened with that thread lol

user243245346 · 18/01/2025 23:38

It's stealing. Stealing a substantial amount from a business. That means they put the prices up for everyone else.

Shocking that you can pretend that it's "morally ambiguous". Stealing is obviously wrong.

tellmesomethingtrue · 18/01/2025 23:02

Do they have a photograph of the item having been delivered? A photograph of the package on your doorstep for example.

Quiinkong · 18/01/2025 22:54

Phallicfriday · 18/01/2025 20:26

I guess I’m more concerned with whether or
not I’ll get found out? I’m close to making my peace with keeping them but I don’t want to get in trouble. Obviously my response would be very different if it concerned a small business / retailer or someone who couldn’t afford the loss / didn’t have insurance to cover such things.

If they do come back to you about the items being delivered, just say you're not aware of it and you will check with DH. Then get back to them a day later to say "oh DH received and hadn't told you, you can pay for one item and they can come pick up the other" simples.

Frostynoman · 18/01/2025 22:52

Tell them. Morally ambiguous this is not.

Crazyworldmum · 18/01/2025 22:49

We had this in November order from an abut retailer something around £150 was supposed to arrive in 7 days it arrived a month after . In the meanwhile everyone assumed it was lost and refund was made . I kept the item , didn’t even occur to me to return it after all the hassle of having to chase them and going out to buy a last minute replacement .

Whydoeseveryonewanttoargue · 18/01/2025 22:48

Stealing isn’t morally ambiguous no matter the circumstances. You want us to justify your stealing. Yeah they made a mistake but it’s still stealing.

Huskytrot · 18/01/2025 22:47

tweedledee12 · 18/01/2025 21:07

Definitely, 100% keep it - see it as compensation 😆
It's happened a few times in various forms to me, and we've always kept it...I too am morally bankrupt

I'd keep it too.

So would most people I think (despite what the thread says!)

Divebar2021 · 18/01/2025 22:43

I’ve had this with a camera lens and they contacted me and asked me to return it which I did. ( this was following the issue of a refund following non delivery). Big companies are able to justify “ripping off” their customers ( if that’s what they do) because they’re dealing with a certain percentage of people who steal from them. Includes staff in the warehouse, couriers, customers. Every one of them justifies it the same way so you’re in good company.

lovelysunshine22 · 18/01/2025 22:42

GogoGobo · 18/01/2025 21:35

I think you are 99.9 % likely to get caught out because if an item is left in a safe place by the courier they take a photo of the item in the safe place.
They will only use a safe place if you have designated one.
if the items are over a certain value then the company will claim against the courier - who will provide evidence/tracking info. I think if it was just 1 item you might be ok but as it’s two I think it will get looked in to. Clearly not for a £10 Amazon order but for a tech item worth a few hundred pounds they will want to know there isn’t a theft issue with the courier firm….

Absolute rubbish! My parcels get dumped all over my property and I've never designated a safe space!

Growlybear83 · 18/01/2025 22:41

@Phallicfriday I've just read your later post saying they'd been left in your garage and you hadn't been asked to sign for them. In that case I don't see how you could possibly get caught out if you keep them. People follow couriers around all the time and steal parcels that they leave on doorsteps, in porches, and in garages. I had several Amazon parcels stolen just before Christmas which were left on my doorstep. They had photos from the driver showing they had been left, but they refunded me without question when I told them they had been stolen. I had cctv footage of someone walking up to the door and taking them but amazon didn't want to see it.

lovelysunshine22 · 18/01/2025 22:40

AgnesX · 18/01/2025 21:32

If you want to be no better than a thief with the morals of an alley cat knock yourself out.

Not that give you appear to give a flying fuck about that anyway.

How very dramatic 🙄

lovelysunshine22 · 18/01/2025 22:38

I would definitely keep it 🤷‍♀️

Growlybear83 · 18/01/2025 22:36

dancingqueen345 · 18/01/2025 20:44

I'd probably leave them in the packaging for a month or so and if I'd not heard anything, keep them tbh.

I'd definitely do this, maybe leave them unopened for a little bit longer.

fiorentina · 18/01/2025 22:36

I had this happen and I told them. I also had four of one item instead of 1 arrive, and I did tell them. Mainly as I was worried about bad karma if I kept them and felt better returning them/telling them.

Tel12 · 18/01/2025 22:34

Happened to me. I contacted them as I am not a thief. They said it's your lucky day.

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