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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

For keeping an order that I’ve received a refund for?

163 replies

Phallicfriday · 18/01/2025 20:20

Long story short. Ordered DH a fairly expensive tech item for his birthday from large retailer. Item didn’t arrive and when I chased the retailer it was presumed lost and they sent a replacement. It was supposed to be on next day delivery but this didn’t materialize either. Week later I call again to be told the item was detained by customs and it would be returned to the retailer. They point blank refused to send another item and instead only offered me a refund. Feeling very frustrated as I still had no birthday gift, I reluctantly accepted and ordered a replacement on Amazon (which I haven’t received yet either). Since receiving the refund, both the ‘missing’ orders have turned up. I am overseas and so I imagine it would be a hassle/expense for them to arrange a courier to collect them for return? AIBU for just keeping quiet and keeping both? Appreciate that this is morally ambiguous and I am quite sure I will get lots of mumsnetters up in arms at my morally bankrupt thought processes but they are a large company and surely will have insurance to cover such losses? And who really gives a flying fuck if the insurance company are out of pocket a few hundred quid when they rob the living daylights out of us all? My only concern is if they can track / trace that they have been delivered and force me to return / repay? What would you do?

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SpunkyCritic · 20/01/2025 12:06

Glad you've made your peace with stealing.

shinebrightlikeanemerald · 20/01/2025 08:50

The problem is that the orders have been delivered and it will be the delivery company who will be asked to refund the company you bought them from. The delivery company will have proof of delivery and a picture so if it is investigated their legal team will most likely chase you for answers.

You're committing a crime and if you have a job that a criminal record won’t affect or you’ll never need credit again in your life then being caught will not cause you any issues other than a criminal record.

These are the risks you have to accept you are taking should you decide to steal the items and say nothing.

If you do decide to do not steal these items and explain to the company what has happened they may let you keep them anyway.

HappydaysArehere · 20/01/2025 08:48

I expect they will tell you to keep it.

Icanttakethisanymore · 20/01/2025 08:40

kellysjowls · 19/01/2025 23:54

It is stealing.

Same as if you found a wallet with cash & ID in it.
You are supposed to either hand the whole lot in to the local police station or get it back to its rightful owner.

If you pocket the cash and stick the rest in the bin then the law in the uk considers you a theft because you are preventing the rightful owner receiving their property back.

I think the gov are now changing the law so this includes pets too. So if you find a stray dog you can't (legally) just take it home or sell it on, you have to (presumably) take it to a vet's to see if it's microchipped and if not then take other measure to try and find the dogs owner.

What if someone threw their wallet into your garden? (I'm not necessarily arguing the point btw, but I don't think the analogy you have used is correct so I am interested to know if you think the point holds with a better equivalent)

Icanttakethisanymore · 20/01/2025 08:37

I wouldn't imagine there would be any legal recourse. I guess they might contact you and ask for them to be returned but equally they probably can't prove you have them.

financialcareerstuff · 20/01/2025 08:30

These are all business decisions on the part of the company..... calculated ones. Whether to go with more reliable couriers, delivering more on time but cutting into their sales or profits; or whether to go with a cheaper courier and bear the lesser cost of some lost products and disappointed customers.... whether to under or over promise your delivery timelines- trading of extra sales for extra failed deliveries.... whether to bare the hassle and cost of reclaiming goods and repackaging goods, or the cost of simply writing them off.

It really isn't the same as your interactions with individuals or even small companies. As customers our job is to be clear about what we want, give effective feedback, reward great performance through customer loyalty, and hold accountable when what we get is crap. Our job is not to pick up the pieces for huge companies who the majority of the time are making extremely profit-driven decisions about exactly what level of quality and reliability they can be bothered to deliver to us.

This is not a system of personal ownership, it is one of corporate efficiency. The refund is not to transfer ownership back it is to acknowledge and rightly take responsibility for their screw up and failing to deliver what they promised within the timescale they promised.

Anyway, I've said way more than my piece. So will bow out nowGrin

Createausername1970 · 20/01/2025 08:14

Phallicfriday · 18/01/2025 20:51

I’m not justifying it. As I said, I’ve made my peace with it, and don’t really care if anyone thinks I’m morally bankrupt. I’m more concerned if I’m likely to get caught 🤷‍♀️

Then what's the point of this thread? Other than attention seeking?

financialcareerstuff · 20/01/2025 08:10

No not the same as picking up cash on a public street. That is you intervening and taking something that was in no way directed to you, that could otherwise have got back to the owner.

This is an item being put on your property, intentionally. You have in no way intervened or taken action to make that happen. It has happened because the company and the courier have failed to do their job and already caused significant inconvenience to the customer- the stress of not getting the item when promised, the hassle of contacting the company to chase it down, and the hassle of finding an alternative product elsewhere. And now the hassle of receiving something you may not need anymore.

People don't seem to understand that the refund is to compensate for that and acknowledge that they failed to deliver the product in a timely manner. The company are effectively writing this cost off, and taking the financial hit in order to take responsibility for their mistake and maintain customer loyalty for the next time and hopefully avoid a stinking online review, they don't care about the product. Any decent company have a budget line for dealing with these situations, and if the cost of all these screw ups grows beyond what is tolerable for them, then that pushes them to make improvements - eg to adjust their time promises to be more accurate or employing more reliable couriers, or improving their processes so they are shipping things more reliably. It is not for the customer to 1. Take the hit if their inefficiency, then 2. proactively help them get their property back!

Yes, if the company explicitly said on offering a refund, that if the customer accepts, and the item turns up they would need it back , then fine , customer should accept it turn down these terms and stick to any agreement. And no, if asked if it turned up, customer should tell the truth. But companies don't do this because they don't care. It's more hassle than it's worth: (instructing customer in returns/ sending courier, risking pissing of already badly served customer, receiving and repackaging goods etc). When a delivery goes wrong, it's a sunk cost and the priority is to maintain customer loyalty for the long term.

It is not the customers job to bear the hassle of their screw up.

kellysjowls · 19/01/2025 23:54

financialcareerstuff · 19/01/2025 12:57

It really isn't the same as stealing.

The definition of stealing in the uk is: "the dishonest appropriation of goods" the OP has done nothing dishonest and has not appropriated anything. There was no plan, no deception in order to receive the item, and if the company cared, they could ask if she has received it, but guess what? They don't care! She has had something dumped on her property which she had already cancelled, which she never had the intention of receiving for free, never mind steal.

The difference between that and going into a shop and shoplifting is glaringly obvious.

Can't find a reference in the uk, but in the US the law, via the Federal Trade Commission is super clear: consumers have no obligation to return and every right to keep items delivered to them in error, including items that are cancelled and still delivered.

It is possible the law is different in the country OP is in, but it's a question of consumer rights. The firebrand moralising is ridiculous.

It is stealing.

Same as if you found a wallet with cash & ID in it.
You are supposed to either hand the whole lot in to the local police station or get it back to its rightful owner.

If you pocket the cash and stick the rest in the bin then the law in the uk considers you a theft because you are preventing the rightful owner receiving their property back.

I think the gov are now changing the law so this includes pets too. So if you find a stray dog you can't (legally) just take it home or sell it on, you have to (presumably) take it to a vet's to see if it's microchipped and if not then take other measure to try and find the dogs owner.

SpunkyCritic · 19/01/2025 17:51

How is this "morally ambiguous", OP??
It really isn't.

CovertPiggery · 19/01/2025 17:38

I also think it depends on the tech. If it's something like a laptop, phone or games console, the company might find out once it's connected to WiFi.

Youcancallmeirrelevant · 19/01/2025 16:52

Phallicfriday · 18/01/2025 21:30

Delivered by local postie, no signature and left in an open garage

Yeah I'd keep, if the company ever challenged just say it must have been stolen as not left with anyone

DubLass · 19/01/2025 13:21

Amazon used to be incredible for this .
However, before Christmas I ordered a birthday card worth 5 euro . It did not arrive in time and Amazon sent me an email telling me to assume it was lost and request a refund .
I did .
A few days later the card turned up . I then received an email from Amazon telling me to return said card within 30 days or they would charge me !!!
The cheek of them when they initially didn't deliver the item AND told me to request a refund .
Wanted me to return the birthday card ( at my own cost ! ) .

BeAzureAnt · 19/01/2025 13:15

I do think the OP should contact the retailer. They may say, it is fine, keep it. Then the problem is solved. Or they send a courier to retrieve the item, and the problem is solved. Either way, the OP has a clear conscience and doesn't have to worry.

financialcareerstuff · 19/01/2025 12:57

It really isn't the same as stealing.

The definition of stealing in the uk is: "the dishonest appropriation of goods" the OP has done nothing dishonest and has not appropriated anything. There was no plan, no deception in order to receive the item, and if the company cared, they could ask if she has received it, but guess what? They don't care! She has had something dumped on her property which she had already cancelled, which she never had the intention of receiving for free, never mind steal.

The difference between that and going into a shop and shoplifting is glaringly obvious.

Can't find a reference in the uk, but in the US the law, via the Federal Trade Commission is super clear: consumers have no obligation to return and every right to keep items delivered to them in error, including items that are cancelled and still delivered.

It is possible the law is different in the country OP is in, but it's a question of consumer rights. The firebrand moralising is ridiculous.

CuriousGeorge80 · 19/01/2025 12:42

Not sure why lots of people are justifying stealing from Amazon when these aren't Amazon parcels.

It's clearly theft, as you now acknowledge. You are either a thief or you aren't. I wouldn't (I would contact and explain and see what they say, if theydon't sort it for you that's a very different situation) but as this post shows loads of people would. You do you.

That said you are coming across more generally on the post as incredibly unlikable. To the point where I suspect the post isn't even true.

Areolaborealis · 19/01/2025 09:37

You might end up being charged for both. I'd keep them in the packaging and contact them immediately. Stress that its up to them to arrange the return if that's what they want. I highly doubt they are going to say just keep two expensive electrical items for free.

Hipalong · 19/01/2025 09:35

DarkForces · 19/01/2025 07:28

It's no trouble for them to report you for theft as the police will handle the investigation and prosecution. No one on here can possibly tell you how likely it is this will happen.

She's in another country. So it's a lot of trouble.

Lambington · 19/01/2025 09:18

This isn't "morally ambiguous". It's stealing.

PeppyGreenFinch · 19/01/2025 09:14

financialcareerstuff · 19/01/2025 08:29

OP, I think I am very strict morally, with stuff that is about communities and individuals and not hurting people etc.

But. Having worked in big business, I do not think it is theft when they have failed to deliver correctly what you needed, when. And then, effectively dumped something on you that you did not ask for. If when they refunded you, they asked you to inform them if it turns up, or requested you return it, that's one thing. But I suspect they didn't. Because it's pretty irrelevant to them. The hassle and extra people they'd have to employ to follow up and manage returns of stuff that had been refunded but later delivered probably isn't worth it to them. Neither is it fair to ask good faith customers, who have already gone through the hassle of delayed items, to go through the hassle of returning stuff. They will have budget lines for such losses, and decided that how they run their business/ which couriers they use /what they do and don't do when stuff gets lost etc is how they want to run things - balancing economics with customer satisfaction etc.
Fact is, they failed you, which caused hassle and stress. You told them the truth about it not being delivered. They refunded you without, I assume, making any request about what to do if the item turned up. It turning up delayed is a very likely, obvious possibility- but it doesn't matter to them. It's not the item alone you paid for. It's the item within a certain timescale. They failed to deliver.

You didn't make this happen. You acted in good faith. Their systems failed. It's Not on you.

Is this a joke? You are not ‘very strict’ morally if you would steal. It doesn’t matter if you steal from a small business or big business, stealing is stealing and fucked up.

westisbest1982 · 19/01/2025 08:45

Why are you even posting? It would be theft. Even a child would know this. If you think it’s fine then why not go to your nearest Tesco and join the other low-life’s shoplifting.

financialcareerstuff · 19/01/2025 08:29

OP, I think I am very strict morally, with stuff that is about communities and individuals and not hurting people etc.

But. Having worked in big business, I do not think it is theft when they have failed to deliver correctly what you needed, when. And then, effectively dumped something on you that you did not ask for. If when they refunded you, they asked you to inform them if it turns up, or requested you return it, that's one thing. But I suspect they didn't. Because it's pretty irrelevant to them. The hassle and extra people they'd have to employ to follow up and manage returns of stuff that had been refunded but later delivered probably isn't worth it to them. Neither is it fair to ask good faith customers, who have already gone through the hassle of delayed items, to go through the hassle of returning stuff. They will have budget lines for such losses, and decided that how they run their business/ which couriers they use /what they do and don't do when stuff gets lost etc is how they want to run things - balancing economics with customer satisfaction etc.
Fact is, they failed you, which caused hassle and stress. You told them the truth about it not being delivered. They refunded you without, I assume, making any request about what to do if the item turned up. It turning up delayed is a very likely, obvious possibility- but it doesn't matter to them. It's not the item alone you paid for. It's the item within a certain timescale. They failed to deliver.

You didn't make this happen. You acted in good faith. Their systems failed. It's Not on you.

mummyh2016 · 19/01/2025 08:27

If they've sent you two I'd own up to 1 at the moment and see what they say.

CatJ21 · 19/01/2025 08:24

I’d keep them without a second thought. It will be fine

Didimum · 19/01/2025 08:15

This sort of thing happened to me twice, funnily enough both times with rugs, different companies.

First time wrong rug arrived, they resent the correct one and cocked up the collection of first rug so badly they just told me to keep it.

Second time, rug didn’t arrive so they sent another, then two arrived. I’d paid for one. I just kept them both.

I’d cancel the Amazon one and keep the two you have, but I have no loyalty or care for big corporations.