Friend asked for money for freezing eggs/IVF. I feel strange/lost.

Tell her No. Don't even tell her why, because she will then be able to retort and manipulate you based on what you say.

Please, don't!

"Don't worry about it. I'm taking the money out of my savings. But IVF might be a different story, so let's just wait and see."

"Let's just wait and see"???? What? Who does she think is "us"?

So she is prepping you to pay for IVF, but oh-so-kindly telling you not to worry yet.

She sounds mad.

Bizarre and very cheeky. If she actually asks, just say no. And distance yourself from her, she’s a user.

What a cheeky cow! Just ignore her and don’t give her a penny.

She isn't your friend. She's a CF and she will ask again so I'd send this whilst phasing her out.

💯 this. People never fail to shock you do they.

You need to reply with something like this.

Dear friend,
I love for you that you are planning a family, and it’s a shame you are worrying about finances!

It’s lovely that you thought of me when you worried about money. I feel quite private about my situation, but can tell you that I do not have money to give away. I must be very clear - I cannot pay for your IVF.

I worry that this news is upsetting, I don’t want you to worry that your dreams cannot come true without me paying. You have time to plan, and I understand that there are loans and grants you might be able to use to fund your journey.

I am here to support you in friendship dnd live, always.
XOXO
OP

This is crazy! How do you know her?

My DH and I went through IVF. We used some savings but also took out a loan which we have nearly paid off. We wouldn’t have asked family, let alone friends for the money. And my parents have cash to spare!

Not trying to have a go just giving a direct reply re why she hasn't put in boundries- is there a history in the friendship re taking of her etc.

I'd be tempted to say sorry I can't help - I'm actually completely broke since my bereavement. Actually, I was hoping you would help me with £5k I need, and seeing as you have savings...

See how cheeky she finds it.

She’s mad. Make sure you make it very clear that it’s a no from the very beginning OP!

This. Absolutely this. She's a right sort.

She's going to ask you for money again at some point, absolutely.

I would nip that in the bud right now, and reply to her text saying that after all you have been through in the last couple of years, you are not, and will not be in the future, in a position to give her any money.

Look after yourself op x

All of this.

In asking you she was completely thinking of herself without understanding what you have been through. She has savings or could get a bank loan herself I would tell her that! Your money is for your future not hers.

It's easy, if she approaches you again, say you'll pay for a psychiatric evaluation and a therapy session as she is coming across as quite unhinged.

Anyway, if you maintain the friendship, just forget about the IVF issue. Drop into the conversation every now and then as to how awful it has been that estate taxes were taken in both UK and US (or wherever) and you have been left with very little at the end of the day. Then ask her for something to tide you over. Hmmm.

Or you could say that the estate was left in trust and you cannot access it unless it is verifiably for your own use and the trustees will require proof of that and will pay for those things on your behalf. So nothing can go to her.

I wouldn't get mad I'd just ignore TBH.

I agree with this! Get her to say where she thinks this money is coming from. Either her or block her. She’s absolutely shameless.

Her message reads that she would ask you again to fund her ivf.

This person is not a friend, but a cheeky f**er. I'm not one to cut friends out easily buy my god, I would not want someone like this in my life. To take your grief and loss and turn it into an opportunity for herself, is callous, entitled and selfish. She may have been a good friend before but you can see her true colours in times of crisis and also as her life turns out differently to yours.

I would actually be honest and tell her how inappropriate her request is, and then just ignore her and cut her out of your life. When people show you who they are, believe them, and don't let past history colour judgement on who she is now.

She texted me last night saying: "Don't worry about it. I'm taking the money out of my savings. But IVF might be a different story, so let's just wait and see."

I'd take a massive step back from this woman. Unbelievable.

I agree. I am saving £3k for a frozen cycle which is a real slog to save for but the actual child is more affordable!

She texted me last night saying: "Don't worry about it. I'm taking the money out of my savings. But IVF might be a different story, so let's just wait and see."

She must keep the local B&Q busy with all the oil she buys to lubricate her brass neck.

Well, she's as unreasonable as they come. How utterly bizarre. I'm sorry for your loss and grief.

This is absolute madness. I cannot believe the audacity of her!

I’m sorry for your loss. And 2 years is no time in terms of grieving.
I think you’re right, your friend thought you’d come into some money, are making mega money so she’d tap you for money.
A previous thread gave a great response to people “ let me know how you get on with that” or you could use “ wish you luck with that”
As far as money goes, don’t get involved. Ignore any requests for loans, gifts etc.