To ask MIL not to use their car seat?

We have an Axkid mini kid 2. There are some great extended rear facing car seats out there.

Axkid seats go up to 125cm and 25kg or 36kg depending on model. They're also Swedish plus tested and among the safest on the market. My almost 3yo is only about 85cm and 13kg so we'll get a good long time out of her minikid 2!

Carrying a baby in your arms in the back of a taxi is legal. Yet if that taxi was involved in a crash, it wouldn't have to be going very fast for that baby to come to serious harm very quickly.

My DC are in their 20s so I'm very much out of touch, but how on earth does a 5yr old fit in a rear facing seat? Where do their legs go?

Many things are unsafe - baby walkers, smoking, driving when tired. But they are legal.
Unfortunately in the UK we have a very lax approach to car seat safety, and working in a paediatric trauma unit, I often saw the sad consequences of this.

Is it possible to have a rear facing one at that age? DS3 just outgrew his 360 seat and the options available to us because of his height are booster seats (the type with the full back)

Or am I missing something? It does feel a big jump from 5 point harness, to seatbelt all of a sudden!

What kind of paediatric health professional?

This is one of those topics where the overwhelming position on MN seems completely removed from real life, I think it's because a small number of people feel very strongly about it and therefore always post.

On MN, you are the most irresponsible parent alive for allowing a child to front face before 6. Akin to smoking 20 a day in their face or letting them cross the road alone at 2 (as PP seemed to use as ludicrous comparisons above).

In the real world, I don't know a single person who had their child rear facing beyond 2. And I don't know a single child who was injured as a result of this decision.

That said, if you feel strongly about it OP then you should stand your ground. Perhaps share the research you have and say you would be really happy for your child to use the seat when they are x years old, but not before.

Rear facing is safer.

But more important is the car seat being properly fitted (and fitting g the car) plus the child being properly secured into the car seat (properly adjusted straps, no coat etc).

You can have the safest car seat in the world, but not doing that renders it useless.

100% don't let her. Tell her about the safety apologetically, say it's lovely she has the seat and it will be brilliant to use when DD is old enough to forward face

I'll give you bumpers and nests, but plug sockets aren't "high risk" - the likelihood of a child turning them correctly to make the socket live is miniscule. Yes it's safer not to use them but it's a long long way from high risk.

This is one that completely blows my mind, unless your child is horribly car sick or 8 years old and being laughed at at school drop off, I don't see what benefit front facing is. My mum asks everytime she sees my 2.5yr old when I'm turning him, he literally doesn't know that front facing is an option and sits quite nicely RF, so what would be a single positive reason for turning him?

It's not hard to be respectful and just do it like anything else op can ask. This is not being precious.

It absolutely is safe. That doesn't mean other things aren't safer (safest of all being not getting in the car in the first place).

OP YANBU at all to prefer rear facing, many parents do, especially at that age.

Personally I'd get DH to deal with it, but if he won't, I'd thank her profusely for buying the seat. It's not right just yet but it will be so handy to have it at her house down the line. You're so excited to see them, etc etc etc. Make it clear it's about the seat and not about her or her gesture.

My child is tall for her age (95+ centile) she still rear faced.

Kids just cross their legs or have knees up, they're fine..

Don't make out that it was unreasonable if the man, when really it was just the fact you didn't think it a good idea. Your child would have been safer rear facing, even if his legs were "squished up".

None of this really matters for this op, it's her preference that her child is in a particular type of seat.
Op you said your mil is sweet can't your dh very diplomatically tell her to use the car seat you want.

Say you just don't want to be worrying unnecessarily and it's a simple solution and see what she says.

Unfortunately I think people who have blind spots over this stuff instead of just doing it have other stuff going on.

I smoked in the house with my kids for 20 years, and they're all perfectly fine.

I also let them cross the road on their own from 2, and they're all perfectly fine.

Then they turned 7, they were allowed to drive the car to the local shops and back, they're all perfectly fine.

Were they in car crashes?

How many serious crashes were they involved in during that time? If none then saying they were fine is missing the point isn't it? You could have popped them in the footwell.

They were all perfectly fine.

Did you actually crash? If not they you'd have no idea if they were fine or not until it was too late

We rear faced until 4.5, when we were actually given a new car, and I couldn't get the rear face in properly or safely. And as we're low income, we have to save up for a new RF seat. So we have to put her FF at the moment in her old car seat (it is designed to FF and RF)

Unpopular opinion here, all four of my children sat forward face, except as small babies.
They were all perfectly fine.
It’s only a fairly recent thing to rear face.

I think with my last one, a ridiculous man in Halfords, forced my child into a rear facing chair to test the size.

Because my child was really tall for his age, there was no way he could squeeze his legs into that space, and be comfortable and I refused, and also didn’t buy the car seat from him.

You say ' they' so i assume there is a fil too?

Get your dh to talk to his sad about the car seat and the technicalities. I guarantee this will go down a lot better than you talking to his mum.

The law in the UK hasn't banned baby nests, plug socket covers or cot bumpers. But they're still high risk. Why you'd forward face an 18 month old i have no idea.

As a parent you need to actually research things not just blindly follow "the law".

Your child’s safety comes before your MIL’s feelings. Obviously say it nicely, maybe that you’ve only recently found out yourself. But it’s literally x5 safer for children to rear face and could literally mean her life is saved if the unthinkable did happen.
Show her videos if you need to on the difference it makes in a crash test. The law is ridiculous on children’s car seats, and definitely needs changing. Some of the most flimsy car seats are allowed to be sold and children legally allowed to forward face years before they should be allowed.