To ask MIL not to use their car seat?

It is less safe though so surely OP is being perfectly reasonable to ensure that her 18 month old baby travels in the safest kind of car seat?

I presume that all the people saying that they have always used FF seats and their kids were fine didn't ever have a serious car accident, so this wasn't put to the test. Why not go for the safest option for your child?

As a paediatric doctor who has worked in a paediatric emergency department receiving toddlers in car seats who were forward facing it is absolutely NOT safe even if you’re using a car seat.

please don’t give advice on something you aren’t certain of. It could put a children’s life and ability to lead a normal life at risk.

We did have a serious accident. 3 kids in back, 5 and 7 year old were in forward facing high back boosters and baby was rear facing in spin 360. Very bad accident, clipped pole at 50mph, sent us spinning across road and landed in ditch on side. Mercifully, all kids were absolutely fine. Not even whiplash.

I know rear facing is safer but for a 5 or 6 year old it seems overkill.

So it's a legally allowed car seat and she's rarely going to be in it?

I couldn't really get too excited about that tbh.

Yes, that’s an interesting suggestion. I know my DH would respond well to that, whereas without it he’d probably just say that we forward faced from before 1 - because that’s what everyone did 20 years ago. I read a post on here from an emergency services person - or perhaps their spouse - about seeing the horrific damage done to a young child in a forward facing seat which could have been prevented by rear facing. That’s the point - a better understanding now of safety. It isn’t acceptable for grandparents to say, well, that was what we did in our day etc.

The seat gives foot space.

Our car is a citroen c4 and would fit three extended rear facing seats in the back.

YANBU 18 month olds should definitely not RF, but if she can still return the seat tell her now, unless she has other grandchildren who will be using it.

They bend

Take a step back and evaluate the types of journeys she will be going on.

My mum had a car seat that was FF from 18 months. Initially I was a bit eeek about it. However I thought about the journeys she will do with my child. All of them involved roads under 40mph, majority 30mph max, and usually lower with parked cars etc. The journeys would be under 10 minutes so I deemed the risk being very very low. She kept the seat and I kept my mouth shut.

How in the world are people fitting 6-8 year olds in a rear facing car seat?! Do they have detachable legs?

for anyone who uses the argument ‘we had our children forward facing and they were fine’, please remember, that’s a rubbish argument if they were fine because you didn’t have an accident, not because forward facing is perfectly safe.

i was a child of the 80s so my parents put me in the backseat in a Moses basket. I was fine. But crucially, I was only fine because they didn’t have a crash. Those babies who weren’t fine aren’t around to make that point.

YANBU. Rear facing until at least 2 is so much safer, and really not difficult to do.

Also, you need a massive car. Cars just aren’t designed for multiple children rear facing till 6. I had three across the back all in car seats and I couldn’t have fitted them all rear facing and I have a massive car. Even now I still have two in car seats and an older child rammed into the middle seat without one (he’s11), it’s a proper squeeze.

If it’s too late to take it back I’d thank them for having a car seat ready in case of them needing to step in in an emergency, but that for trips with time available you would rather they use your higher rated car seat.

Rear facing is statistically safer because most bad accidents involve travelling at a speed and then slowing down quickly - even side collisions often involve hard breaking, which means the child is thrust forwards, which is a problem if they are forward facing and they are better protected if rear facing. Technically if someone crashed into the back of you, your child might be better off in a forward facing seat. This type of accident would happen at a lower speed than most frontal or side on collisions and is less common.

A compromise is the impact shield offered by some of the newer forward facing seats. My children have all had ‘rear facing till 4’ seats, including my eldest back when everyone was moving their child to forward facing from 9-12 months - everyone thought I was weird!) My youngest is only three but faces forward with an impact shield because he could unbuckle himself from the rear facing seats, and kept doing it, which was obviously far more dangerous than forward facing.

The seats sit further back, leaving a small footwell

May I just ask those who reckon their child will still be rear facing when they are SIX, what the hell do you do with their legs? My child is 2 and although we wanted to keep her RF for safety reasons, we’ve had to swivel the seat and FF because her legs were too long and there is no way to adjust the seat to accommodate this that I can see (joie360). She’s not a tall toddler.

That doesn't mean forward facing isn't safe.

My 6.5 year old still rear faces, and will until he is 8. But when we go to MIL's, I don't make a fuss. She drives well and it's not very often.

I would keep them rear facing but then my nearly 5 year old is still rear facing and will be until they outgrow their current seat.

car seat education in the UK is poor. I see coats in cars, front facing seats in the front of cars all the time. i think people just don’t realise the risk. Older children out of HBB too soon. You might be a good driver but sadly there are people who are out there who aren’t so I would do everything to make sure they are as safe as possible in their seat.

Rear-facing is safer than forward-facing.

This is also very true. There are some decent FF seats and some terrible ones, those with white plastic clips are very dangerous.

What car has MIL got? Will the rear facing seat fit correctly in it? FF is safer than a RF seat crammed into a tiny 3 door car where it doesn't sit how it is designed.

Also is the FF seat a decent one or something that cost £25 from Argos?

As a pp says if it's a 10 minute journey into town once a month, never exceeding 30mph, I'd probably let it go (if the FF seat is decent quality) - maybe not straight away but once dd is 2yo. It depends on the type of journey she is doing.

Thanks, will take a look at axkid

My 5.5 year old prefers rear facing as she crosses her legs whereas in forward facing they’re just hanging so not that comfortable for her.