To ask MIL not to use their car seat?

While I agree fully that rear facing is much safer, I really do hate seeing people drag others for forward facing. There isn’t enough education for parents and there is so many forward facing seats out there, that of course many are going to think they are just as safe. I have had to rear face 2 of my children way before I wanted too, after spending a lot of money on rear facing car seats it was gutting. They are both neurodivergent and could escape any car seats straps. Being able to see them and pull over when needed was much safer for my children.

OP just be honest about your feelings with them. The car seat can always be used for when your child is older. 18 months is very young.

There are many exclusive rear facing seats available that will support your child up to 36kg. My child is small and he should last in his 25kg rear facing seat until he reaches 6-7years. Look into Axkid minikid and movekid seats or Britax max safe pro as examples.

How do we know whether her child will be 'absolutely fine' being driven around by grandma? Don't shame OP for wanting to keep her child safe.

It is a choice, it's legal. You also have a choice whether to allow your child in it, though. I'd be buying MIL a rear facing one myself if she was doing lots of childcare. If she isn't, then it's unlikely to be used anyway as I would always transport my own child.

508 are not tiny though. If it was a 208 id be more in agreement about working in smaller cars

"As far as I'm concerned, DD's safety comes before MIL's feelings, but DH feels awkward about it."

He'd feel more than awkward if there was a car accident! I bought a car seat for my first grandchild and my daughter insisted I change it for one she recommended so I did. Just stick to your guns and don't be railroaded out of it.

'Your child your rules' - I was mainly referring to something as important as safety, not granny allowing more TV than you are happy with but didn't make that clear, sorry.

When I was born, cars didn't legally even have to have seatbelts fitted. I was transported in an unrestrained carry cot on the back seat. Cars weren't as fast and there wasn't as much traffic but still I shudder at the thought of the outcome of an accident.
Our children were always in car seats, although only rear facing in the tiny baby seats you'd carry them into the car in.
We didn't have any family nearby so we had no grandparent car seat issues but I did frequently see grandparents transporting children on their laps. Horrific.

I do agree with listening to latest research,

and this thread is a reminde to check with my DCs before buying anything at all when they have childen- but you as parents do need to be patient and be prepared to educate us oldies on current thinking. I will try to educate myself but can't be 'up' on everything. Probably like me very very few of your parents / ILs will be aware of any child being harmed, even after an accident, in a forward facing chair so it wouldn't cross our minds.
Same with weaning - it was ok to start weaning at 3 months when I was a baby and even when I had my DC, 3 months was OK but we were encouraged to try to leave it to 4.
So please don't assume we know what is right and wrong by today's standards.
I know some grandparents will have the awful 'well it was ok when we did it this way' attitude (our parents also did!) and not be prepared to educate themselves or listen to current thinking. But most people I know want to do the best for their grandchildren , we. maybe just need some help keeping up to date

Incorrect. Your 18mo may prefer it just as she may prefer riding her bike without a helmet when the time comes. It's your job as her parent to make the safest choice, however unpopular.

Please read the safety guidance for your DD's seat for her weight/height and do exactly what it says.

And FF car seats are much safer than none at all. It's all perspectives. If all FF seats were so dangerous every kid who had been in an accident ip to the last decade should be dead or severely injured from it as nearly ALL kids were forward facing from 9 months or a year

I've no doubt that rear facing maybe slightly safer in certain situations but saying FF is UNSAFE it's exaggerating

People are so evangelical about bloody car seats and make rear facing their child a major part of their personality

Your child will be absolutely fine in the car with their grandma. Don't cause a problem.

Yes we have a besafe stretch. My son is projected to be 125cm at age 8, and well under 36kg.

We also have an axkid one, which is good for 23kg/125cm so the younger sibling has that one.

Clearly your child, your rules. Best way of dealing with it is to buy another car seat yourself for her to use - imagine the embarrassment if your MIL bought a rear facing one and there was something else about it you weren't happy with.

Cot bumpers are available to buy.

I travelled from Lancashire Dover then Calais to Spain in the tailgate of my dad's car.

I was fine because we were not involved in an accident.

It’s not safe to rear face that young.

Thank you! These are all the reasons I forward face my 18 month old. I'm following the law and her car seat is safe. The women having a go at me should never put their child in a car full stop due to the small risks of being in car accident.

You need to go back to medical school if you're really a qualified medic. Forward facing is less safe but it isn't unsafe. Being in a car full stop is unsafe. Hopefully you tell your patients to never go in a car.

Which car seat do you have that lasts until age 8, please? Our nearly 5 year old is rear-facing in a BeSafe Stretch, which I expect to last until she's about 6.5 as she's very tall. Thanks x

RF being safer (data pending) doesn't make FF unsafe, it makes it less safe. Every parent has to choose for themselves which risks they are willing to take, and where the line is for them personally. Life is inherently risky, we cannot eliminate all risk from every activity.

I feel the same too, mine are 16, 13 and nearly 9, we did have a 360 spin for the youngest and he stayed rear facing to maybe close to 2, so I do know things changed on rear facing, but both my older ones forward faced around 9 months and I remember someone I knew putting their 5 month old forward facing when my eldest was a baby because he was big.

Like you, reading this thread does make me feel a bit like the grandparents who rolled their eyes at baby led weaning when I did it 16 years ago, because I had no idea rear facing longer was now so common, and my instant reaction was the occasional trip with a grandparent was fine. So I definitely agree to handle it sensitively with her, don’t go in all guns blazing about it. Will she realistically be taking her out any time soon or very often? Would there be an age in future you’d be happy for her to use the seat with your MIL, eg over 2, so you could say you’d prefer your own seat until she is a bit bigger but her seat would be great when she is older, or would it never be suitable (and if so could she still return it?)

About being closer to home - you (and everyone else) are often travelling 15-20 mph, there is less chance of a high speed and therefore impact collision. I FF my 3 yr on trips to nursery / the supermarket but RF (in an ispin) if I am driving on dual carriageways / motorways etc.

If you already have a RF seat she can use in her car, then just give it to her to use. Otherwise, buy another seat that is RF for her car. The FF seat your MIL got, either donate it or keep it for when your DC is older.

A Peugeot 508 is a relatively large car, not like a ford fiesta or Citroën c3. Of course it can fit 2 seats.