To ask MIL not to use their car seat?

@BarbaraHoward probably safe to cycle without a helmet, as long as you don't get knocked off your bike. Bit like rear facing. Bet you make the kids wear helmets though 🙂 Enjoy the park!

Given your update, I think that you are very restrained and tolerant with your MIL. Surely, even as a former nurse who doesn't agree with updated NHS advice, she must know that it's not a great idea to stuff an 18 month old with junk food.

Definitely stick to your guns about the car seat. She's your daughter and you decide which car seat is suitable.

That was uncalled for. Did it make you feel better? A little frisson of 'aren't I edgy?'

No - that's because there's a shocking lack of car seat education in the UK and not enough public awareness to make this an issue. I'm more focused on the fact that the government have publicly accepted that rear facing is safer.

For what it's worth, I'm not sure I'm in favour of mandating rear facing until 4 given the issues that some parents have with sickness and escapees, but I repeat, posters shouldn't be shaming OP for wanting to keep her child safe.

My goodness! Absolutely shocking that you think it’s safe for under 4s to face forward! You need to do your research.

The whole point of rear facing is to protect the neck and spine. In a collision a front facing child will get flung forward whereas rear facing get forced back in the seat hence reducing neck and back injuries.

And how big do you think the risk of internal decapitation is?

Anyway, need to go - cycling with the kids to the local park. Something that I suspect poses a much higher risk of injury than any trip in a correctly fitted car seat! Terrible mother that I am and all that.

@StacieBenson it didn't exactly get an overwhelming response I notice.

My kid is a screaming mess rear facing and a chilled-out angel front-facing when he can look at the view. You may not think that a good enough reason but it's certainly a reason. Dunno if you've ever had a real car-hater but it makes life v difficult and isn't very safe either (distracting.)

Last year, there was a petition to ask the government to mandate rear facing seats for children under four. The government responded saying that "a rear facing child restraint system is likely to offer better levels of protection than its forward-facing equivalent in a frontal impact". Despite this, it decided not to change the law, because rear facing seats are 'larger and often more difficult to install'. It also went on to say that parents can 'consider the relative benefits' of purchasing and using an extended rear facing seat - basically, up to the parent.

So in short, the government accepts that rear facing is safer with a correctly installed car seat, but doesn't want to mandate it.

https://petition.parliament.uk/archived/petitions/640558

The petition also directs people to ROSPA (Royal Society for the Prevention of Accidents) for advice on selecting a car seat. Their page is linked here: https://www.rospa.com/policy/road-safety/advice/vehicles/car-seats

It says:

"Rearward-facing seats provide greater protection for the baby's head, neck and spine than forward-facing seats."

I agree that we shouldn't be judging people for forward facing - there are a lot of factors for parents to consider including travel sickness etc. - but we equally shouldn't shame people for wanting their kid to travel in the safest way possible or imply that they are overreacting because they don't want their child FF.

I would have loved to have kept mine rear facing but by the time they were 2.5 they could undo the clasp and would climb out or worse, just take the straps off and sit still so I didn’t notice!
I figured it was safer to have them forward facing than not strapped in at all. They didn’t undo them when FF. I’m guessing because they could see more and felt more occupied.

@BarbaraHoward cool, good for you. Maybe watch some of the crash test dummy car seat videos and google internal decapitation before you do your 'risk assessment'

I'm glad you don't care about my opinion of you. Because I think you were really shitty to another person, and I also think you have a poor grasp of risk assessment.

I never FF any of them in a HBB in that car, so no idea. I vaguely remember reading that it's vanishing unusual for a normal road car not to have the survival gap though.

The seat was safe to FF in that car, obviously.

In case helpful my child is 7 and still comfortably rear facing. She will probably fit her seat for at least another year. She's normal height, and within normal weight range (albeit on the lower side). Personally I don't understand why you wouldn't choose the safest option for your child, and require family members to do the same. It's a safety device not a fashion accessory. You can have the conversation with relatives in a grown up but frank way; it doesn't need to turn into a drama. Things have moved on since the 80s or whenever they had young kids. And it really does not need to be an emotive topic or something that sets off delicate MILs; it's a car seat.

@BarbaraHoward I could not care less if you think I'm a good person. It's important to me that I do everything in my control to keep my child safe, if someone doesn't want to do that then that's their decision but they should expect to be called out for bullshit claims that it's 'safe as long as it's a modern car seat'

Asking again....is there a FIL?

If she lives an hour away, how often is she realistically going to drive your daughter around?

If you don't have space to rear face chances are you don't have space to forward face safely if in a seatbelt and hbb.

You need a certain distance between them and the seat in front as a survival gap. Can't remember what it is exactly but when their heads are thrown forward they can smash into the seat in front.

Many RF seats take up the same amount of space as the survival gap

What an absolutely shitty low blow.

I didn't FF as early as @Babyybabyyy but I know which of you I think is a bad person and it's not the one who FF.

They cross them

My child rearing years are passed and it was front facing after about 9 month in my day so, can I ask a stupid question? Where do their legs go when they're 3 or 4 but still rear facing?

You're wrong

www.gov.uk/child-car-seats-the-rules

Well, you're wrong

I read the guidance and it's safe for her to forward face. I wouldn't let her ride a bike without a helmet. That's like letting her sit in the backseat without a seatbelt.