Baby announcement gone wrong

Very good point. FIL was robbed! If only you'd stuck the scan picture in a bottle of scotch rather than on the toddler

I think the whole waiting until 12 weeks it’s a silly tradition. You’re not the first woman to get pregnant. I told people as soon as I found out, so that I wouldn’t have to faff around trying to pretend. The only times I would consider delaying telling is at work and wait for the right time to maximise my advantage, if there was any to be gained.

Not sure what you expected them to say OP?
Surprise! - yes, we already knew!
Which they clearly did already know. They were never going to be "Omg, we had no idea". 😅

I understand your disappointment but you are hugely overreacting. They should have asked how you were, but did you want them to pretend they didn’t already know you were pregnant? It must have felt very humiliating for your in-laws to be told about your pregnancy by virtual strangers and even though I realise you didn’t intend it that way it would have been thoughtful if you’d realised that once others knew or guessed the news it was likely to get out so you should tell in-laws too.

The childminder in particular was very wrong to talk about it when you’d told her to keep it quiet, but the fact that she obviously assumed that that didn’t include your in-laws as you would have already told them should tell you something.

I would just explain that you weren’t intending to exclude them, you’re sorry they felt hurt, and then move on.

Of course she is.
All MiLs of DiLs on MN are. It's the law.

I'm just curious to know when "fuming" is actually the mot juste?

fuming was an understatement at one point, To say I was fuming, was an understatement at another, but woke up this morning and I am STILL fuming.
So, are you just "fuming" this morning and were the times when fuming was an understatement worse?

What is meant to be a happy moment has been taken away by their "poor me" reaction

"Poor me" reactions: they're just the worst, aren't they?

Your CM and cleaner were wrong to blab and your MIL reaction was ridiculous but you’re a bit overdramatic yourself

I can see why you are upset, they shouldn't have had an arsey reaction. Though I don't think anyone's particularly at fault.

If you are telling the cleaner/child minder, I think unless you explicitly tell them not to mention it, they probably just assumed family would be in the know - for me, accross my family and friends it is the norm to tell close family very early on. For example if my sister or sil was pregnant, I'd be surprised if i wasn't told at 5-6 weeks.

I know its pointless to suggest things in hindsight, but I think the best approach is when the child minder dobbed you in, would have been not to lie and just say "sorry I only mentioned it as I know availability is poor, I don't like to get family excited by announcing too soon, before im more confident its going to stick, so ideally you didn't find out this way - but here you go".

They are also not unreasonable to be underwhelmed in their reaction as it obviously isn't a suprise, and I get being disappointed as they knew but were lied to, so may be hard to muster up suprise and enthusiasm, but anger doesn't seem the right response.

All in all, I'd just see the announcement as a fail, but its no big deal. A shitty underwhelming announcement shouldn't ruin the overall excitement for you and your fam

This is eerily true.

They go for what feels familiar.

There seems to be lots of RSD /Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria/ going on. You explained where your comes from and they will have their own story.

I think the way to go is explaining why the childminder and cleaner knew and how they where supposed to be queit until you were ready to announce the news to grandparents as you wanted to make it special. I would concentrate on how you wanted it special for them.

And deal separately with the childminder and the cleaner.

I don't blame them for being pissed off! You told the childminder when you're only 5 weeks pregnant, you left your maternity notes lying around (do you even have notes at 5 weeks?) and then your husband lied to his parents.
Oh and you then flounced off to the bathroom with your son.
This is batshit orhopefully completely made up

She DID KNOW because her DH was there when MIL was told by the CM!

MIL is not stupid and saying “it’s someone else with the same name”, is ridiculous! Don’t treat MIL like a bloody fool.

You should be angry with the childminder and the cleaner!

Sulking in the bathroom is quite attention seeking behaviour.

Pot calling kettle black 👍

It's the cleaner and the CM that are at fault here. As your employees they should regard confidentiality.

Since you knew full well they'd blabbed the birthday reveal was rather pointless.

As to your in laws and your reaction, seriously you need to all grow up a bit.

Yes she did. Childminder told MIL, who asked DP, who lied to her

Not sure if anyone has mentioned the OP’s other posts but she seems to hate her MIL because it seems the MIL would quite like to spend some time with her family and help out. But doesn’t hate her so much because MIL provides childcare for their son 2 days a week. Imagine seeing her twice a week, a woman who must save them hundreds of lines a month and lying about a pregnancy whilst some random women are in the know.

You booked a childminder at 5 weeks pregnant before you even told your PIL? Yeah,my nose would be out out of joint too.

@RosesAndHellebores

Off at a tangent but why couldn't you climb on a chair when you were pregnant?

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Oh I just chose not to, as a teacher you can find yourself in a classroom, on your own balancing on a chair trying to staple things to the celiling or whatever. It's usually a good idea to tell your TA in case you need a little back up.

I don't think the why is particularly relevant. I actually swore the TA to secrecy and she still told people. Unfortunately the one person she told decided to tell lots of people.

The OP is feeling hurt at a time which should be special. I get that, though I'm surprised to find myself in the minority.

She did because they had said " why does the cleaner say you're pregnant?" And the op and her dh lied! An then someone else told them too!
The inlaws aren't stupid!

The silliest thing about your post is you telling your child minder at 5 weeks!
I'm not surprised MIL was upset...you lied to her.

Good message. I’d be inclined to have laughed it off on the day with an ‘omg the gossip in this town’ shared exasperation and moved on immediately, but as everyone is letting this escalate I think @Spirallingdownwards has written a good message.

They are being quite childish to ignore the announcement but I also think you should be angry at the cleaner and childminder for gossiping.

Oh babes.....men get with women like their mothers 😅

You're not coming across as much better OP.