To ask if you’ve ever regretted no contact?

I went very low contact with my brother over 15 years.,then no contact the last 6 years. It was absolute heaven not having to deal with a mentally abusive narcissist. Cut to now...my parents have recently relocated near him,5 minutes away and I'm likely to bump into him in future. Fuck!! 🤬🤬🤬

I am very sad that NC is necessary but that is just me wishing that the person had a different personality really, which is ridiculous of me. It all still makes me sad though.

It seems you don’t have to do anything as your brother isn’t going to be in contact with you until you apologise for saying how you felt when SIL revealed her homophobia. She’ll accept you so long as you aren’t in a relationship, which isn’t accepting you at all.

If your parents pressure you into apologising for the sake of family harmony ask them to explain specifically why it isn’t your SIL who needs to apologise and why what they want is more important than who you are

Don’t blame you at all for wanting NC and if your parents, after knowing what was said to you, are annoyed with you for making that decision for yourself and your partner, then…tough shit.

As you can see by my username, I certainly do not regret going NC. It has greatly improved my life.

I went no contact with a relative for a year. Stated my boundaries first which just made them more angry. Did the no contact, then asked them to put it behind us with my boundaries in place. They agreed and dispite being low contact they still went back on the boundary thing snd got angry with me.

I think low contact is better. There's no big announcement or drama. People either change or they don't.

For me it was mil. She never seems to speak to her son about problems she makes me talk to him / do her telling her off. So when he doesn't go grovelling to her I get the flack and blame. Just should inhindsight said "I'm sorry to hear that" and left it there. Too late now. Feeding drama with drama was a mistake.

You can block them for a month. And breath and think. Just say if your parents ask why they can't phone your reception is terrible suddenly I think there's a local fault. Or go no contact and give a one sentence reason. Or no reason. Don't do a massive explanation as I got a 'your dead to me' reply. I was hoping for some eureka moment. There wasn't one

Don't burn bridges as you might find a way back. I think my mil hates uncomfortable conversations with people she loves as she recently is avoiding directly talking a close relative who has lost a child because she is so sad. Whereas she is OK taking that on me as there's no love there. So I do regret it. I wish I'd just ignored her for that year

@PumpkinSpicedLatte I'm NC with most of my immediate family and I must say apart from the fist couple of weeks when they were constantly ringing my landline (blocked on mobile) which I just ended up unplugging and a few random visits where they were told to fuck off and had the door shut in their face, it was the best thing I could have done the peace, quiet and lack of abuse is bliss.
I can honestly say that after more than a decade the only that that I regret is not doing it sooner

the boy who cried wolf - this is the story in action

I definitely have regrets but I still think it was the right decision. I do wish things had turned out differently.

I think you can just stop replying to any messages? Sounds like it's a relationship that's going to fizzle out any way. You don't have to make a big "I'm going no contact" gesture. Although if you've now blocked the people concerned, won't they know? I've no idea as I've never blocked anyone.

Your explanation is very confusing but if it boils down to your sister in law being homophobic then that is reason enough if your parents ever question you.

No regrets, bit of sadness but mostly a sense of relief
I didn't visit my Father in hospital when he was dying (claimed he was so many times before) and I didn't go to his funeral.
Absolutely the right decision

Are you saying she is homophobic and is he enabling her bigotry? Then yes, go no contact and tell them why 💐

My thinking is even if you do have the odd pang of regret, it will be less than the trauma and angst of continuing a toxic relationship. Your regret may well be more like wishful thinking and not based on a reality anyway! More like how you wish things would have been. All the best to you. Be firm and don’t explain too much as you don’t need to justify your choices. X

Do what is best for you. Simple as.

This. Absolutely this.

Nope. My only regret is that I didn't do it sooner. I put up with that shit for far longer than I should have.

Just because you're related to someone doesn't give them carte blanche to treat you like shit.

YANBU OP

You know your own mind better than anyone !

I agree with this.

The chances of regretting it very much depends on what the person did.

I occasionally have a wobble and think about contacting my dad. Then I remember what a narcissistic, lying,self serving,neglectful asshole he is.

I have been nc with my (I call her) ex sister for about 9 years now. She didn't even come to our mothers funeral as she knew what she'd done.
I do feel sad when I see my friends and their lovely positive sister relationships , but she caused so much damage that I can't justify ever seeing her again.

Also, it made me understand how revolting my female cousins are - they took her viewpoint as gospel so they are no longer in my life.
Sad my kids don't have an aunt or a cousin anymore (adult nephew equally awful), but I have a great family, and that's how it is

Can relate. You've tried people pleasing and it ended up with you needing therapy. If they don't take care of your feelings, cut them off. They're not on your committee any more. Don't look back. Good luck (10 years NC here and best thing I did)

I did go no contact for a little while with one of my siblings. It was to do with how she behaved when she had a really horrible partner whom she started emulating. She broke up with him and we became friends again.

My point is that people can change. I'd go v low contact / grey rock them and be less available instead of making a big statement burning all your bridges. But depends why you need to go no contact. Sexual or serious physical abuse for example I don't think I'd forgive ever

It is difficult, and you will get push back from other family members but you have to look after your own mental health. You are an adult and your parent can't control your relationships with other family members.