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AIBU?

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Original poster

To not want my 2.5yo staying overnight without us

131 replies

Bounty9 · 17/01/2025 22:33

DD is 2.5yo and MIL is always asking to have her overnight. I have said yes a couple of times in the last year for our anniversary and a big birthday, but apparently it isn’t enough.

It’s not that she’s a bad sleeper, or I don’t trust MIL. I just hate being apart from her at night. I don’t really have a better excuse than that.

MIL looks after DD one day a week (which we are of course very grateful for) so it’s not like she doesn’t have time with her. Her argument is SIL (her daughter) allows her boys (4yo and 6mo) to stay twice a month.

I appreciate the thought behind it, and she did stay over for a night last August, but I didn’t enjoy being away from her and said to DH that I didn’t feel comfortable doing it again until she’s older and asks for it herself. DH (and others) think I’m crazy for turning it down.

YABU - let MIL have her overnight more often
YANBU - waiting a few more years won’t hurt

OP posts:
sesquipedalian · 17/01/2025 22:40

If you don’t feel comfortable, or would rather your DD didn’t stay overnight, don’t let her - she’s still well young. It’s supremely irrelevant what SIL allows to happen with her children: you are your DD’s mother, and MIL can want all she likes: she had her turn being a mother, and as a grandmother, she needs to take her cue from you (and I write this as a grandmother myself). I’m sure when your DD is a little older, you’ll jump at the opportunity, but for now, it’s fine to prefer not to let her sleep over.

TheWhoBird · 17/01/2025 22:40

Your kids, your choice (and theirs to a certain extent when they get older and actually ask).

Emilianoo · 17/01/2025 22:40

Your choice but I think YABU. You obviously trust MIL or she wouldn't mind her at all. This is your issue. Sleepovers are an adventure for kids.

Springflowersmakeforbetterhours · 17/01/2025 22:37

Never needed a break myself.. Youngest dc is 10...slept out about 5 times. His choice.
Remember mil had her dc.... She doesn't need to replay motherhood with your dc... And you don't need to allow it.

Most likely it's to tell her friends she is invaluable to you....

PurBal · 17/01/2025 22:35

Totally your choice!

Thiswayorthatway · 17/01/2025 22:35

YABU, I would have loved this opportunity, take some time to yourself