Needing to make up work hours - should I leave?

If you can afford it then yes, definitely quit. Your baby is only 11 months old and it's not really much good financially because of the childcare. The gap on your CV would be for a reason. Does anyone even notice gaps on CVs anyway?

If your husband might lose his job then he needs to work with you to make a plan so you don't lose yours too.
Can he take annual leave to cover some days ?

Any option to do some training/additional qualms while they are little to avoid the CV gap?

Hi OP, I totally sympathise and you couldn't stay awake during the day if you did nights.
You have had a particularly rough time with both being unwell and it is likely that this won't be a reoccurring matter. Your 4 year old will be going to school soon and it seems you have some backup with grandparents.
I think that you should hang on in there right now and don't make any major decisions.
Not sure if you work for the NHS but there is a carers leave policy which permits some days off for sick children and breakdown of cc arrangements .
And jobs that you enjoy are worth hanging on to if you can.
Don't make any rash decisions and take care

If the job is fundamentally a nice one then I would try to muddle on through. If it was terrible/stressful then, in your position, I’d probably take that as a hint from the universe and leave!

But I definitely second the idea of lining up some alternative paid childcare. I had a real wake-up call when I had to miss an interview because my usual family options were not available. I found a lovely retired lady and used her for regular babysitting, so knew that DC was familiar with her and she could be called upon if needed.

It’s really hard, we have two young DC and no grandparents close by to help. We take a mixture of annual leave and u paid leave when they are ill, with a bit of leeway with working from home when dd is sick as she’s 4 so it’s a little easier then the 1 year old. We split the time off equally between me and DH.

Wouldn’t it be better for your DH to look for a more accommodating job so you can keep working, since his company isn’t thriving anyway?

Not making much money while the kids need childcare (or even losing out) isn’t unusual, childcare is expensive, but keeping working increases your future earning potential. In 10 years time it can make a big difference. If you can possibly make it work it’s worth some struggle - especially since you sound like you really like the job.

But it is hard, employers are not generally very flexible over it (often understandable but, along with expensive childcare, the main reason it’s so hard). Lots of women end up being off a lot longer than they wanted to. I hope you find a way to make it work.

If you have set working days then they cannot ask you to come in on your non-working days to make up time (you might need the money/want to be flexible so will agree to it anyway).

When mine were little ( I'm a HCP) we used our babysitter ( over 60 - granny who liked some extra £££) who would cover at short notice until one of us got home . I have 3 kids and only took time off for elective surgery for one child once . Can you get a grandparent to help for the surgery convalesces ?

Nights and weekends.
It’s tough but better than unemployment

You don't realise just because your a nurse doesn't mean you have to work f2f. I wfh attend clinic one day a month. You could also be a pip assessor

At my job I have to take the time unpaid or work it back. I can't work back really as similar issues to you re childcare. They are already in wrap around full time and my DH works 40 hour weeks too. So I have to take the days/time they are ill unpaid and it's a nightmare as money is already tight.

Could you work nights and book the children into childcare for the following day whilst you're asleep? Then if they're ill you miss out on sleep rather than work (and can probably nap with them anyway).

If your husband’s job is looking shaky it is worth sticking it out and switching to nights just to make sure that your household retains an income.

I don't have advice for you tbh but just wanted to reply that I sympathise so much. My kids are older now (8 and 4) but I remember thinking life was like a house of cards, ready to fall down round about me if anyone became ill. I'm out of those trenches now but remember it so well. I also work in healthcare and used to compress full time hours over four days which newly broke me. I work part time now in a job that can be done largely from home (which would have been even more idea years ago!)

I work night shifts and weekends. I have 3 children 8, 4 and 8 months. I stay awake after nights to look after the baby and am around for school runs, school events and if anyone is unwell. Means I never miss work. It’s bloody hard and I do get very tired but I only do one night shift at a time and only 2 shifts a week. We have absolutely no family or friends to help with childcare so it’s the only way we can work it. And I’m grateful that I get to be around for the children as much as I do, I count myself very lucky to not miss anything and to have the flexibility of working shifts.

Husband has been covering it. Plus, I assume he might works full time so they would miss his wages

I don’t know, but I have a very flexible job and two children with additional needs.

There have been months where I’m barely at the office but I’ve been able to wfh, work evenings, take leave etc to cover (although it much better now the youngest is 7) and if I’d had a job with zero flexibility I’d have had to leave.

This

Your husband needs to step up and do half. His job is at risk - what about yours? why is yours less important?

Split nights or at least 1 weekend ( Fri / sat) works well if your partner works Mon/ Fri . I eventually just moved to 1 night and the odd bank shift . Are you a qualified nurse as you could always just do bank and agency for a few years .

Could you work on the bank for your trust and still work the same days but not on a contract? You wouldn’t get sick pay except statutory but you might still accrue holiday pay .

It’s not a “you” issue. It happens to us all when they start nursery as they pick up bugs but you just have to wing it with other half and grandparents. Can you not take it as leave instead? Either holiday or one of the family friendly types like carers or emergency leave?

I worked nights when mine were little as it was the only way we could make things work with limited childcare. I did send the kids to a childminder during the day so I could sleep, but on the days when they were sick or childminder on holiday I'd just have to stay awake until DH got home.