To ask whether you're turning (or have turned) into your mother?

mumofoneAlonebutokay · 2025-01-17T17:09:39+00:00

I caught myself today repeating one of my cockney mums sayings to dd Although we're estranged, I'm definitely turning into mine. Fingers crossed I don't get her early menopause 😩 Edited to add that I was so happy about getting 4 x steaks from lidl today and planning tonight's dinner. My dm would be the same about a bargain 😄😄

dizzydizzydizzy · 18/01/2025 11:32

Glad it's not just me @Thepeopleversuswork 😊

Thepeopleversuswork · 18/01/2025 11:00

dizzydizzydizzy · 18/01/2025 10:48

I look more and more like DM and her DM. However, I like to think that I am a much better listener than both of them (probably put together). If I try telling DM my troubles, her usual response is "there's nothing I can do about it" and then will change the topic of the conversation to something mundane like she managed to plant out her tomato seedlings. I feel like shaking her and saying "there is something you can do, you can damned well listen."

DM is in most other respects a great woman.

Are we sisters? My mum was exactly like this and it was awful: it left us feeling unheard and powerless.

My mum just hated talking about anything serious or important so would always bring the conversation back to safe territory. I have resolved never to do this.

Thepeopleversuswork · 18/01/2025 10:57

I am much more like my dad than my mum in my personality: she was quite shy and introverted and not very good at advocating for herself. I have defined myself in opposite to this because I could see it didn’t work out well for her. So if anything I am turning into my dad.

That said I have definitely inherited my mum’s obsessive cat lady thing which gets more pronounced the older I get.

Beamur · 18/01/2025 10:56

I see my Mum in me more as I get older. It's not a bad thing.

harriethoyle · 18/01/2025 10:55

I looked at my eyes the other day when I’d finished my make up and I SWEAR late DM was looking back at me. Same eyes, same eyelashes, same eye make up. It’s just crept up on me! It’s nice to feel her with me though, I miss her.

Scirocco · 18/01/2025 10:55

I can definitely see similarities with my mother and my grandmother. Some are things I'm happy with and some I'm not. My DH, meanwhile seems to become more like my grandfather over time. They both 'engineer' things a lot. I'm waiting for the day I'm greeted with "Don't touch me, I'm live!" again, or for a garden shed to explode.

DrunkenKoala · 18/01/2025 10:52

No and hopefully the one thing my mother has taught me is how NOT to behave towards my kids.

olderbutwiser · 18/01/2025 10:51

My favourite fridge magnet. Enough said.

To ask whether you're turning (or have turned) into your mother?

dizzydizzydizzy · 18/01/2025 10:48

I look more and more like DM and her DM. However, I like to think that I am a much better listener than both of them (probably put together). If I try telling DM my troubles, her usual response is "there's nothing I can do about it" and then will change the topic of the conversation to something mundane like she managed to plant out her tomato seedlings. I feel like shaking her and saying "there is something you can do, you can damned well listen."

DM is in most other respects a great woman.

JustHavinABreak · 18/01/2025 09:59

Well sometimes I open mouth to speak and she comes out! Does that count?

I think when you become a parent, you look at your own childhood and make a decision about whether or not that's what you want for your own childhood.

In my case, it's not at all what I wanted and my DH was in full agreement. Some terrible experiences that have had lasting damage. To be absolutely clear though, it wasn't just DM, it was also DF and perhaps him even more so.

So we're massively different parents. I love her very much but I can't depend on her and it's not really a maternal love as such. I think she loves me but I'm so different that I don't think she really likes me as a person.

menopausalmare · 18/01/2025 09:49

Yes, because I have inherited her long, middle aged curly random eyebrow hairs. I also keep a box of cards under the stairs and buy cheap Christmas cards and crackers in January.

Cynic17 · 18/01/2025 09:45

I hope not - she's an awful woman. Occasionally, I catch myself being like her, so I do work very hard to correct myself.

Nerdynerdynerd · 18/01/2025 09:42

Ew no.

StrictlyAFemaleFemale · 18/01/2025 09:11

Plastictrees · 17/01/2025 17:14

Not yet, I’m hoping I can avoid the one-way monologues for another few years at least!

You must be my sister.

Pat888 · 18/01/2025 09:09

That's not singing that's shouting - about modern singers, I say the same now - some of it is dire.

THisbackwithavengeance · 18/01/2025 08:59

@KnopkaPixie your mum's hilarious. 😂😂

ssd · 17/01/2025 22:59

If i could turn into my mum i would in a minute. She had such a great way about her, not a worrier or a procrastinator or an anxious sort. Just always calm and level headed.

I wish i was her.

Goody2ShoesAndTheFilthyBeast · 17/01/2025 22:48

MissMoan · 17/01/2025 21:14

No - I've accidentally turned into my dad, minus the beard

You're lucky.
I got my dad's.

MissMoan · 17/01/2025 21:14

No - I've accidentally turned into my dad, minus the beard

Greyish2025 · 17/01/2025 21:11

mumofoneAlonebutokay · 17/01/2025 20:45

I share this sentiment - people fear single mums because tbh life is better this way, with no man in my house 🙄

*for me

Edited

Show quote history

After a certain age, I think more and more women just want to live on their own and not cohabit, maybe men are the same

Greyish2025 · 17/01/2025 21:08

No, we are very different women

AffIt · 17/01/2025 20:50

No, we're incredibly different people.

I am, however, increasingly beginning to resemble my grandfather (on a personality level at least), which is a slightly weird turn of events.

Original poster

mumofoneAlonebutokay · 17/01/2025 20:45

Catza · 17/01/2025 20:26

I am turning into mine right now. My mum never wanted to share a house with another man after separating from my father. So much so that her boyfriend of 10+ years has never spent a night in her flat. I find their relationship cute but strange. Fast forward to now.. I separated from my partner not long ago and I am in the process of buying a property and last week I had a thought "I never want to live with another man again. I just want my safe little flat and a long-term date on a side". Whoopsie

I share this sentiment - people fear single mums because tbh life is better this way, with no man in my house 🙄

*for me

OP posts:

Original poster

mumofoneAlonebutokay · 17/01/2025 20:41

Gothzilla · 17/01/2025 19:31

No I’m the opposite of my mum. I made sure of it.

She was always judgemental, always “right”, hard, just never an accepting easy going woman.

Edited to add: apologies I just realised it’s meant to be a lighthearted thread.

Edited

No worries, every experience is valid x

OP posts:

Ohshutupcolinyoutwat · 17/01/2025 20:37

I wish I was just half the woman / person my Mum is but alas I will never be like her.