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Original poster

Friend annoyed at me for this

56 replies

OneBrightAzureBiscuit · 17/01/2025 15:55

i have a best friend who I get on so well with, she’s like a sister to me and we have known each other years. Anyways, we were talking over the past month about seeing a certain film at the cinema. She loosely mentioned it a few times but plans never materialised. I was waiting for her to get back to me about it.

anyways, yesterday me and my partner went to see the said film and she found out that I went and watched it with him. She texted me today in an ok mood but kind of passively aggressively confronted me about it- she was like “I see you saw “said film”
I explained and said “sorry if I upset you, you didn’t make plans with me and I was invited so I went, I would of gone if you had arranged it with me”
she then said “I see you’re sorry, I was just shocked but it’s ok now”.
we have now planned to see it next Thursday but I just don’t understand. I could definitely understand her emotion if it was another woman like in the sense of replacing her but it’s my boyfriend! We been together 6 months!
I apologised a few times but my boyfriend said I need to stop defending myself

any advice/ what are your thoughts? X

OP posts:
JLou08 · 17/01/2025 17:06

Why do you keep apologising? She said it was okay. You seem to be over thinking this. I can't see what the issue is, just move on from it.

sonjadog · 17/01/2025 17:04

This happens with me and my friends all the time. It goes: we talk about going to see a film, we never quite get round to planning it, one of them goes and sees it with their partner, we go and see something else at the cinema instead. I don't think it needs to be harder than that? It's just a film, not a once in a lifetime experience. If you wait long enough you can probably watch it together on Netflix.

biscuitsandbooks · 17/01/2025 17:01

Hmm, I'm torn here.

While I think your friend has overreacted, you knew she wanted to see it - so in your shoes I'd have asked her if she wanted to join you, I think.

Spirallingdownwards · 17/01/2025 16:59

Stop apologising to her.

It was mentioned loosely. She never got back to you. That's on her. Don't let her make you feel bad when she is the kne who didn't get back to you

MassiveSalad22 · 17/01/2025 16:59

WhenTheyComeForYou · 17/01/2025 16:28

If she mentioned it a few times, why didn’t you make any steps to plan the trip? Why were you waiting for her to do it?

If I knew a friend wanted to see something, personally I’d check with them before I saw it with a boyfriend - although to be fair you’re fine seeing it twice so I guess it doesn’t matter.

I wouldn’t make this into a big deal if you otherwise get on well.

Because OP had tried making plans and friend hadn’t got back to her, and it had been a MONTH. Cinema plans shouldn’t be such a slog 😂

From the OP: we were talking over the past month about seeing a certain film at the cinema. She loosely mentioned it a few times but plans never materialised. I was waiting for her to get back to me about it.

If friend wanted to go and see it so bad (let’s face it, it’s probably Wicked), she could/should have done so by now.

PuppyMonkey · 17/01/2025 16:58

I’d have checked with her first too - she might have been waiting for you to get back to her about it?

IWasBornIn1989 · 17/01/2025 16:57

God I can’t be bothered with people like that. So high maintenance.

dizzydizzydizzy · 17/01/2025 16:56

It sounds like a simple case of miscommunication. I wouldn't worry about it. It happens.

Maboscelar · 17/01/2025 16:56

I also would have checked in with your friend and made arrangements to see it with her. You could have seen something else with your boyfriend, you had already told her you would go with her.

I don't agree with her being passive aggressive, but she perhaps didn't know how to say how she felt.

MumblesParty · 17/01/2025 16:56

In your situation, I think when my boyfriend suggested seeing it, I’d have said “I’d love to, but I sort of said I’d watch it with my friend, so I’d better check with her if she still wants to see it, before I watch it with you”. I would then have contacted friend, asked if she was still up for it and booked a date.

couchparsnip · 17/01/2025 16:55

You had planned to see it together and then you went without her. I'd be annoyed but I probably wouldn't go as far as being shocked. I'd put you down as a bit flaky and not rely on you in future perhaps

Boomer55 · 17/01/2025 16:53

Too much drama. 🤷‍♀️

Scout2016 · 17/01/2025 16:52

I would have checked in with the friend I agreed to see it with before going with someone else.
Either to check they still wanted to go and pin down seeing it with them, or to invite them along.

Is your friend worried that now you have a boyfriend you'll stop being available to hang out? That does happen, friend is no longer single and suddenly they drop off radar or (worse?) only go to stuff as a couple.

user2848502016 · 17/01/2025 16:51

Hmmm I think i'm with your friend actually. You said you would see the film with her then went off and saw it with someone else without checking with her or inviting her along? Why was it up to her to organise it?
Maybe she had other people she could have gone with but turned them down because she had already said she'd see it with you

Poppyseeds79 · 17/01/2025 16:49

Was the film Wicked? Has she made herself a costume?

abracadabra1980 · 17/01/2025 16:48

How old is your friend? She sounds about 5.

Nogaxeh · 17/01/2025 16:45

You knew she was interested in going, so could you not have invited her along when you went with your boyfriend?

That would have seemed like the obvious thing to do.

DinaofCloud9 · 17/01/2025 16:43

Lol at her being shocked you went to see a film. This is really your best friend?

SunshineAndFizz · 17/01/2025 16:41

I'm sure she'll still want to sit next to you at school tomorrow.

saveforthat · 17/01/2025 16:34

Calmhappyandhealthy · 17/01/2025 16:32

I agree with this ^

If you'd wanted to, you could have said to your boyfriend "Friend wants to see this movie, I'll let her know we're going, she might like to come along"

Show quote history

Me too.

saveforthat · 17/01/2025 16:33

Anyways, it's anyway.

Calmhappyandhealthy · 17/01/2025 16:32

WhenTheyComeForYou · 17/01/2025 16:28

If she mentioned it a few times, why didn’t you make any steps to plan the trip? Why were you waiting for her to do it?

If I knew a friend wanted to see something, personally I’d check with them before I saw it with a boyfriend - although to be fair you’re fine seeing it twice so I guess it doesn’t matter.

I wouldn’t make this into a big deal if you otherwise get on well.

I agree with this ^

If you'd wanted to, you could have said to your boyfriend "Friend wants to see this movie, I'll let her know we're going, she might like to come along"

MounjaroOnMyMind · 17/01/2025 16:31

She was shocked? God help that woman.

HeffalumpsAndWoozlesAreHoneyRobbingTwats · 17/01/2025 16:29

Tell her to fuck off and get a grip. Also, why are you paying to go see it a second time? Was it marvellous enough for that?

WhenTheyComeForYou · 17/01/2025 16:28

If she mentioned it a few times, why didn’t you make any steps to plan the trip? Why were you waiting for her to do it?

If I knew a friend wanted to see something, personally I’d check with them before I saw it with a boyfriend - although to be fair you’re fine seeing it twice so I guess it doesn’t matter.

I wouldn’t make this into a big deal if you otherwise get on well.