Does anyone wish they hadn’t had a second child (despite obviously loving that child now they are here)

My son is an only and had friends here a lot, went to their houses and always made little friends at soft play etc. We were always happy to participate, climb with him in parks, do activities and so on, too if there were no kids to play with. He was and is very confident and great at making new friends. I think that's a skill many only children have. I have noticed that in families where there are 2 children are more they can be quite insular and closed off in general and at activities like soft play and only want to play with their sibling/s the entire time, not mixing with other children. Obviously they are not all like that and the opposite can also be true.

DC2 was much harder work as a baby than DC1, and it was a bit of a shock going back to the baby phase. I did have times when i thought to myself “what have we done”! Once they got to the playing together stage it was great. Of course there are the occasional fall outs but, on the whole, they’re there for each other and look out for one another. I hope it’s a lifelong closeness like I have with my own Dsis.

My child's sibling ended up being twins. Destroyed my marriage but I don't regret it. Yes it's bloody hard work. But the relationship between my eldest and the twins is lovely - and it's my job as their parent to ensure this relationship endures Into Adulthood by raising well rounded happy and kind children. I do personally find being deliberately one and done for material reasons a tad selfish. But maybe because my ex husband was an only child and he very much has all of the negative personality traits of not having grown up with a sibling.

@NeedthatFridayfeeling said it all! Exactly what I was going to say. Having one is absolutely gorgeous, I love it. I didn't really want another one, but went through a lot of soul searching anyway, because I felt guilty. It's ridiculous. Guilty about what?! A sibling is no guarantee of anything and in our case would have meant a very different life for all of us. I don't just mean financially. I would have had to change my job, DH and I would have been even more exhausted and the benefits our daughter enjoys (e.g. time, space, choice) would have been largely wiped out. One has been great for all of us and she was never remotely interested in having a sibling. Look hard at your own life and desires and honour them. If you long for another child for that child, iyswim, go for it. If you think you 'should' have another, for whatever reason, I'm not sure that's enough.

I stuck with one.

I always wanted 2 but husband wanted 1.

The more I thought about it and the older DD got, the more i realised 3 things:

1. I wanted 2 because that's what I'd been brought up with (until parents divorced- I lived as an only for my teens and honestly never thought about not having a sibling around. I do remember the endless child squabbles and competitiveness though). I am glad to have a lot of step siblings becauseni love big loud gatherings. 2 kids wouldn't have given me that and DH would not have been onboard for 3 plus!

1. I don't want less time with DD. The older she gets, the more time and patience I have to do homework with her, go on daytrips, gossip, watch her clubs...it's easier earlier and its higher quality time.

1. I'm more uptight than I thought i was and probably had some undiagnosed pnd. I personally would have been half as good a mum to both for a number of years. The tradeoff didn't work.

Lastly, I'll ignore any comments saying I'm horrible, but if I'm honest, I wanted a daughter and I got one.

Same here, she's 8, we have regular playdates at each others house, meet up at the park etc, she's very confident and social, on holiday will go chat to any other kids, go to kids club and make friends, can play happily independently.
It's nice and easy with one, days out are easy, holidays are easy, it's easy for us to have 1-1 time with her, she gets to go to various clubs etc as can afford it.
A sibling isn't a guaranteed friend, i hated mine growing up and a lot her friends with siblings seem to argue a lot (not saying they don't have good times!)
It's whether YOU want another OP.

Ah they constantly play together - they’ll just argue about who’s getting to the car first and all the stupid things!
When theyre making breakfast for each other or drawing together I melt (and try to hide with coffee in bed!)

Yeah I imagine having friends with same age kids made all the difference. Like family.

It depends on personalities too as DS2 is more sensitive and it really helped with things like school transitions to know his brother was there. I know they’ll always be there for each other. My brother and I are so close as adults and moved out together into our first flat years ago.

Just all depends on individual situations and do what you want to do OP.

Not regret but I did have moments of sadness about a few things I couldn't do with my DS when we had DD because I was heavily pregnant and then had newborn.

Pretty short lived though as now we've left baby days they play together really well and get on well. They always want to sit next to each other and it's great they always have a playmate on days out. Really lovely to see.

I'm an only child and always played very independently at home, it's seems quite lonely looking back now when I see my too giggling together or giving each other bedtime cuddles.

I feel the opposite - I genuinely can't imagine the work in having one because my two play together constantly. Often when they're playing together at the weekend I am massively grateful I don't have to join in with imaginative play 😂 But I suppose it's luck of the draw to an extent whether your two children get on as I imagine some siblings spend very little time together.

Yeah same. And my child is quite happy to run round soft play or the park pleasing herself. She's not attached to me as some sort of clingy child people will have to believe that only child are. She's independent and confident.
No way in hell would I have a second, life is great with one.

we can go to soft play or the park now and off they go to play together and we don’t have to be climbing with them.

I've one child (now a teenager) but I had lots of friends with same age kids, so spent a lot of time in soft play and parks. They all played together, didn't bicker, then I could go home to my nice calm bicker free house. Win win

I would hate to just have one as I feel they get so much out of having a sibling.

Two is so much more work though - the bickering over nothing etc but on the other hand we can go to soft play or the park now and off they go to play together and we don’t have to be climbing with them.