Does anyone wish they hadn’t had a second child (despite obviously loving that child now they are here)

Whereas my experience is the opposite - I’m one of 4, my dad just died after a long period of illness/infirmity and it would have been considerably easier to deal with if I hadn’t had to involve my siblings in decision making. They were no support whatsoever and my friends and DH have been my support network completely.

Do not use misplaced guilt as a reason to have a second child, please only have one if you both want one, and have the capacity to parent more than one child well. It’s really a throw of the dice whether siblings would enhance or negatively affect your child’s life.

Don't have another if you don't want to.

I personally found having two fine, but I was lucky - both were pretty easy newborns/toddlers and have never rowed or wound one another up much. It's a roll of the dice but I imagine most people are fine with having had a second, even if it was more of a challenge.

At a different life stage to you but so happy I have siblings now my parents are elderly and need support. No guarantee a sibling would step up but it would be daunting as an only child. Not saying that's a reason to have more than one but that is my experience

i like having 2 , wanted 3 or 4 at one point and now im peri menopausal v glad i stuck at 2 !!!

No, I have three and they are a gift each one

they are late teens now and I love being a family of 5

It certainly helps to be close in age if you want them to be close in childhood. However, my sister is 12 years older than me and as adults we are very close (as a child I adored her and she was very sweet to me when she wasn't off to school/with friends etc etc which wasnt often)

One was very hard. I found two easier than having one, it was perfect. Then two to three was unexpectedly really difficult again.

I'm desperate to have another but can't be bothered to spend time with men and I don't want two without a partner /one having a dad and the other not having one! If I had a nice partner I'd have three more

Absolutely not!

I adore having 2.

I am an only child and having 2 just brings so much more variety to everyone's lives.

All I can add to.this is if you want grandchildren, the more children you have, the more you have a chance of grandchildren.

I have two and sometimes I do think wistfully about only having one. But then other times I think wistfully about having 3 😂 (not happening for us)

Then I think of the relationship I have with my lovely brother, and also my DSIL, and my nieces/nephews and I’m happy my two have each other.

My two adore each other and would be HORRIFIED at the idea of life without each other. I don’t think they’d even understand the concept. They are part of each other’s identities.

Yes life might have been easier in some ways only having one - but then I’m guessing id be wistfully thinking about having two.

Ultimately you are probably ok whatever you decide - there will be good things and bad about either.

Having an only child has only been positive for us. No bickering; all activities and days out to suit DD's current age; obvious financial benefits; more time to support DD with transition to secondary school, homework etc, only one set of sports, clubs etc to arrange and ferry around to. She's never wanted a sibling and we are a close team of three. I don't feel she has missed out on anything but has gained so much from the amount of attention and support we are able to give her.

I'm one of two children who loathed each other and made each other's lives miserable. I hope my mum had a second because she wanted another child, because if she had him for my benefit then she actually ruined everyone's life for no gain .

We have an only and we're very happy with that choice. I find he's a lot more socially able than a lot of his peers with siblings, as he's had to learn to socialise properly rather than using a sibling as crutch. My husband is one of six siblings who all get on pretty well and still didn't think a second child was necessary.

I had three, with a three and a half year age gap between each of them.

I don't regret any of them and really can't imagine or remember life without them.

I do think though that it is perfectly normal to have doubts and also "oh my god, what have I/we done!" moments too. I know I did. With all of mine, even the first after she was born. It's just such a culture shock.

Mine are all in their twenties now, all very different and they get on pretty well, all things considered.

They might get on better when older...

actually still waiting

Or not!

Only child signing in. It's swings and roundabouts. Some things you miss out on, other things you gain. There are no guarantees for them getting along. Or not being disabled.

I "needed" two. It was hard work. Still is. Did want a third but glad I didn't in the end.

I wouldn't have had 2 had I known they'd both have ASD and I'd be a single parent! I'm an only child and thought it'd be great for my first child to have a sibling, to be a lifelong friend, entertain each other, all the things I never had and so on. Instead it's a battle between them every day and the fallouts over literally nothing are mind boggling. Sometimes I wish I'd just stuck at one so could give that dc full attention, but instead I'm split between 2, both with very high needs. They rarely get on and both being on the spectrum means it's hard for them to read each other and social cues are easily missed, so they often unintentionally upset each other.

However to give the opposite scenario, my partner (m) has a sister a few years younger and they are such good friends, are very close and supportive and have been good friends throughout their childhoods too. So it's all just a gamble!

Love having two. Same sex close in age so played together really well. Now they are late teens they have a lovely sister relationship despite the odd scrap over nicked clothes. Hear gales of laughter from upstairs. We get on very well as a family have a real laugh. So for us it has been wonderful having dd2.

I have 3 and I agree with you in a way! I don't regret any of them, but I can definitely see why people choose to have less too.

DC1 is 6 and still pretty clingy, always has been.

DH took the two oldest to soft play recently - 6 and 3- and it was a total disaster tbh, definitely won't be trying that again any time soon. He certainly wasn't able to just sit and have a coffee.

Depends a lot on the kids' ages, age gaps and most importantly personalities.

The single best part of parenting has been watching my two interact and share experiences growing up together.
22 and 19 now. Never a single regret.

The decision really is so personal OP, you need to think about how you imagine your family in 10 years time.

We have a baby and a 3 year old so it's very full on. I'm on mat leave so we have less money. But seeing their relationship develop and adding a new little person to the family has made it 100% worth it.

The only good reason to have another is if you (and the baby’s father of course) want another. Do not do it out of some misplaced “giving them a sibling” thing. There’s no evidence that only children are unhappier or worse off in any way for not having siblings, all the claims that this is the case have been debunked.

This is what I found too.

No, not for a second. She is the purest joy and absolutely doted on by her older brother (and us). They're best friends - except when they want a toy the other one has - and as an only myself I don't want that burden on my children.