Is this a financial mistake? Help please

Work it out very carefully, most schools take a deposit and then monthly payments. If you think you can afford it without being too hard up, ie you won't have to go without too much, do it.

Make sure the school has good results, prepares children for grammar school places or scholarships when they are eleven. I'd do it in your position. If your son doesn't like it or it doesn't suit him for whatever reason, he doesn't have to stay there.

Consider putting some of it into a pension, but would also suggest speaking to a financial adviser as you can get tax advantages depending on how you invest it into a pension.

At primary level I wouldn't worry about private school. If you can't keep it up until at least 16 what would be the point? anything canchange in your circumstances or your ex's ability to pay the fees and it would be such a shame to have to pull your child out of a school where they were happy and stick them in anywhere that can accommodate them at short notice, which isn't going to be anywhere you'd really want them to go.

I'd focus on finding a decent school and moving house if you have to. As your child is only 2 you could rent your house out and rent a house yourself in the catchment of a school you like but a doable distance from your own house. Then after a year or two, move back to your own house.

Suggest to get some professional advise, there are some great ideas on this thread and some financially illiterate. Using the ISA annual allowance on a mixture of savings and stocks and shares is a good area to look at. Picking the correct ISA is also tricky and you need to understand the risks, for you probably lower risk so tracker funds are good, however you also need to be prepared that you could lose money. You can also pay down some of the mortgage but you need to asses and weigh up the mortgage rate vs expected return on Investments. Primary private schools I think are less valuable than secondary, my husband and I plan to send kids to secondary private school if we can afford when the time comes but we won’t bother with primary.

Personally I’d throw 75% of it at the mortgage (if your mortgage allows it) and invest the rest.

Start going to the nearest catholic church. Their schools are good. Great morals. It will save you money for private education

Don't spend it on private school fees. "State til 8" is a saying in private school circles. If you were considering it at all, save it for secondary.

I think it's worth opening it up to some "unthinkable" suggestions. Visit the schools. A poor reputation can hang about for years after a school has been transformed. Consider going a bit further than ideal for family - is there a compromise place that is workable? What family support do you rely on exactly - could this be fully or partly substituted by paid support? Could your work hours change or someone stay over? How would someone who didn't have your family help get round it? £80k would stretch a lot further on a mother's help and some wraparound than a private infant school.

I don't think you can predict the cost of school fees for the next 18 years, or the relative value of private v state schools. I wouldn't go there myself.
Paying off a big chunk of your mortgage now will never lose its value and your reduced monthly bills will enable you to consider how you can best support your DC's education.

As other have said, you could be starting from a false premise with the sweeping statement “the schools round here are are absolutely awful” , when your child is not even at school yet. How and can a primary school really be? Are you really trying to say that the people who live in the school catchments are not people you want your DD to grow up with? Is it one of those areas where everyone who can afford private school does so, leaving the state schools with a very uneven demographic?

It would make sense to do more research into state schools before you commit to private.

Don't rely on him. He might die or lose his job

I honestly wouldn’t spend it on private school fees. Most bright children will do fine anywhere. You’d be better off using the money to buy her a flat somewhere cheap as an investment! Or saving it for her.

Just a thought -

If your ex is willing to pay an extra £300 a month for private school - would he be willing to put that into a savings account to help pay for private secondary school? Worth asking if you're on good terms.

100% this.

You can do a lot to enrich a child's life outside of their school hours that doesn't cost much E.g. joining clubs, going on day trips to different places, learning an instrument, encouraging hobbies, reading practice, a tutor if need be etc.

Invest the 80K wisely now and then the options will be there later on when the child is older and their financial need greater. That might mean helping them with university fees or with a deposit for their own place.

I wouldn’t. The fees go up 5% per year. And there are lots of extras.

Also a lot of the children will be very wealthy which may cause issues for your child .

I would move to a better area. Then you still have the money. Once private fees are paid they are gone

Personally if you don’t want to move, get some investment advice and then I’d look at

a - getting a tutor to fill in any learning gaps, but I’d hold off until late primary or secondary.

b - reassess private for highschool years after saving and investments, or

c - start building a good higher education fund, uni or if your dc wants to do technical courses have money to fund that.

A clever child with support at home will do well even in a bad educational setting.

I wouldn't do it - as others have said that money will run out and then unless you can find the money each year, you would have to move DD at some point anyway.

If it was me, I would
Take a chunk off rhe mortgage - say £30k
Invest some - say £30k
Then keep £20k away but accessible for emergencies

Then perhaps re assess in a few years...

I would discuss with your ex if he'd pay half for a tutor for maths and English while at primary. If your now 2 year old can get ahead with the basics while at school I think that would be a better spend of some of the money (a lot less ££ and far less commitment than private school), I'd put some by for that perhaps - you have time to consider which tutor gets recommended well in advance etc.

I'd chuck £20k in a tracker ISA this financial year, and keep £20k to chuck in another at the start of the next financial year, ensure all your debts are paid off other than mortgage, put some by for easy access (to cover emergencies eg new boiler, new car, house repairs) perhaps premium bonds? for emergency. From what's left which perhaps won't be much, I'd look to pay down your mortgage to reduce monthly payments, or, if you have a low mortgage rate anyway perhaps consider additional insulation / thermal curtains/ some solar to heat your hot water and reduce fuel costs. Or invest in some training for extra qualifications for you to enable you to earn more in the longer term.

This makes sense.

£80000 won't get you anywhere with private education. You might think about applying for a bursary.

I do think there’s probably a middle ground - £20k a year for a prep school is quite steep (location and reputation dependent obviously) - DD is going from reception and hers is £3.3k a term (although they take the early years funding until compulsory school age so reception is about 2/3 cheaper than a FT nursery place).

In your position I wouldn’t pay 20k a year but I do appreciate if there aren’t many decent schools around, then it’s a tempting option.

If you paid a big lump off your mortgage how would it impact things? Would it reduce monthly payments or your the term of payment?
Private school with an uncertain income isn't a good idea.
Are you already saving and have a pension?

State til 8, at least. Then see how you feel and if you can afford it.

£80k can buy a lot of tutoring if you feel DD needs it - and after school enrichment activities.

I would use the whole £80k to pay more off the mortgage. What would you owe if you did this? Think of the amount you will be saving in interest!

I'd be more inclined to invest so I could pay for secondary school, you can have a significant impact on how your child does at primary, not so much seconday.

Private School may be £20K but what about secondary?

Relying on maintenance from your ex is a very risky in the long term as of course is committing to private schools

Bear in mind as well that there are a lot of pretty crap private schools

I would look at whether it was worth paying the whole lot off your mortgage (given interest rates could go up) or paying some off your mortgage and buying the top amount of Ernie bonds and put any winnings each year towards your mortgage

I know when I have had the top amount of bonds I would over the year get a minimum of £300 per month £400 was very normal and once got £775 and a £625

I would move nearer the time to a better school if no school near you turns itself around in the meantime.