Is this a financial mistake? Help please

You can’t afford private school. Simple as that.

You also can’t afford to make that big of a financial commitment for 13+ years of school based on your ex. His circumstances can change. What if you or he has more kids?

Knock some off your mortgage, start a junior isa/child trust fund for your kid, put some in pension savings for yourself, have a small emergency fund in case you lose your income.

Best savings accounts: 5.1% easy access or 4.77% fixed rates https://search.app/dHpZmQ4A7WpDUDGu8

Chip has a savings account 4.85% with 3 withdrawals a year or 4.71% unlimited withdrawal. The interest will be nearly 4k a year if you put the 80k all in.

Private primary school education is a waste of time- primary school is just t get them reading and writing and adding up, even if they are awful in your area a little extra tuition will bring DD up to speed.
I would invest the money for her future- if the investment goes well you may be able to afford private secondary school for her, if that seems needful, or it could help her onto the property ladder.
Taking home £2400 per month, with your ex paying £1200 in per month means you should be overpaying your mortgage substantially every month already, as you have £3600 coming in and can't be paying much more than £1200 on your mortgage.

Oh, and we both worked full time so no sahp

Don't spend your money on private education - why would you?
Send your kid to the nearest best primary and put your effort into backing them up with reading, homework etc.
Do the same with secondary and you can put that money towards their deposit.
I'm forever surprised at the thing on Mumsnet that private is better somehow than state.
We have 3 kids who all went to state schools, despite an offer from a relative to pay for private.
That didn't sit well with us and our values.
We don't live in a posh area at all, just chose the schools that suited our kids and they were happy with.
They've all done very well, youngest despite all the acronym disabilities you could name, about to get a doctorate.

Agree with PPs - your child will be fine at a state primary. Unless your local schools are full of drugs and violence then I would save your money. If you feel she needs private for secondary then save for that, I think that is where you really get value for the money.

But do look into your local secondary schools in detail. If you have other children by the time your LO starts secondary - then what?

Buy a smaller/cheaper house in a good area/good school area.

Pay down the mortgage - that will increase free income to pay for tutoring.

coukd also consider 6th form for private with longer time frame to save. Whats your postcode- you may find that unis may give lower offer if in a certain quartile.

Minor private school, cost from 10 years old though to sixth form .
close to 350 thousand, including uniform ( endless)
and trips ( regular) all the way out extra costs you can’t even imagine!
wish I’d paid off my mortgage and had a lump sum invested for my son ,
the state school in our area was , is horrendous, drugs knife crime etc
so I felt I had no choice,
it’s left me broke and wishing I had simply moved tbh
the one thing I hadn’t considered in great measure was the fact that my sons class mates where from very wealthy families ,
all holidaying in expensive exotic places
birthday parties lavish etc , still have not had a holiday in 15 years
theres more to life tbh ,
if you can get tutoring outside of school if you’re worried about education standards
id go that route In hindsight

50k in premium bonds, 20k in stocks and shares isa (vanguard or similar), £5k in a decent savings account or cash ISA and £5k in junior S&S isa for your DD. If you’re On a Fixed rate mortgage then next time it’s up for remortgage I’d potentially pay off a chunk from the premium bonds to see if it gets you a better rate. Otherwise drip feed savings into the stocks and shares isa. That’s of course if you’re ok with risk etc.

Your £80000 would pay for four years and what then? Treat yourself and then put it in your mortgage.

We sent our eldest to a private school, he got a scholarship so we paid half fees. It was the same school that DH and DFiL went to. I had no say in the matter. With help from the ILs we could afford it. However by the fourth year he was there (not yr 4 but what we called the 4th form) the fees had risen so much it was difficult to pay for them. DH refused to pull him out as we would have to pay for the next term anyway.

As I result of this we have a son who is angry about going to the school as he felt out of place. Things like other children discussing their ski trips when he stayed at his grandparents for a couple of days.

There will be people on here saying you can only get a decent job if you went to a private school. Bollocks, my private school educated son thinks the world owes him a living whilst my son who went to the local comp is going to start his doctorate this year

I don't think that's necessarily true - I know plenty of people who do or have done private primary and state secondary. Like us. Our sons both went to the same private primary, DS1 has just left a state comprehensive and DS2 will be going to the same comp next year.

There are also lots of people who live in areas with grammar schools who do private primary and grammar secondary.

Enquire about bursaries at the private school now that may give you an idea if they’d offer you a discount based on your income/expenditure and assets

I'd do a combination of what's suggested above by @Lovetoplan2 and @Y737 . Pay down the mortgage with £50k (which will save you a lot of interest payment in the long run), put £20k in a stocks and shares ISA and put £10k in an interest-bearing account you can add to as necessary from your maintenance payment to act as a cash cushion in case your DC needs extra help with maths or English.

If I didn’t like the school, I would put £10k aside for a private tutor in case child if you think falls behind at any stage and needs extra tuition in maths and English in final years before secondary school

I would put 20k in a stocks and shares ISA invested in a fund such as VUSA and use the remaining 60k to pay down the mortgage.

I think I’d pay off a chunk of the mortgage but keep
some in reserve too. Tutors can really help, in our experience we used them for gcse maths and one A Level (for different children). Also if your child goes to uni then accommodation is now crazy and often big deposits need to be paid for the following year house but in the first year. You will need reserves. Then there’s the cost of driving lessons, etc, it never ends!!

Private schools have their advantages but what makes the biggest difference in a child's life is quality time with parents.

Pay off some of the mortgage then when your child is old enough, take them to see the world and do stuff together. Make memories.

I inherited a bit from my grandad and am planning on doing some travelling with my kids.

Private doesn't necessarily mean better

Spend money on tutors instead, when they need it.

Pay off your all or part of mortgage, you will save more than investments can generate.

I think if you want to invest in your childs education it's best to give them a tutor, books, and things you can buy yourself

The fees are much lower in early years..but they go up with age. It's also the extras..I went to private school in 6th form and a friend went on a scholarship. His mum worked all hours for the extra bits..uniform/lots of sports kit/trips/crammer course as one teacher was rubbish and the school knew we'd all fail the subject etc etc.
Maybe see if in time can get a scholarship and then use some money for extras. The money will soon go :(