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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be pissed off that he didn’t offer?

134 replies

PB96 · 17/01/2025 11:42

I’ve been with new boyfriend around 3 months, known him around 6 and he has been regularly staying around my house for the last 2 months. He has his own place but I have a dog that I don’t like to leave and he lives in a flat whereas I have a house and garden.

He stayed over the other night. We both didn’t sleep all that well for different reasons. He is pretty used to not sleeping very much due to work and was absolutely fine, whereas I have a chronic health condition and if I don’t sleep well, I felt absolutely rotten the next morning (severe headaches, feeling sick, struggle to get out of bed sort of thing).

I do all the cooking for us both, as he doesn’t like doing it but does it absolutely fine for himself at his own house, and I don’t know if he feels 100% comfortable cooking at my house. So we woke up the next morning, and I was really really struggling, it got to around midday and we were both hungry however he didn’t once offer to get up and make breakfast for us both even though he knew how awful I felt, he just waited until I was up and out of bed to cook something (for him too).

AIBU to be pissed off about this and that he could have made the effort as a one-off?

OP posts:
owlexpress · 17/01/2025 11:54

PB96 · 17/01/2025 11:49

I had… but a quick 5 minutes is different to cooking over a stove a proper hot breakfast which is the only thing he eats when he is here.

Oh right, is he under the impression it's a B&B?! Sounds like a CF, dump

ForRealCat · 17/01/2025 11:54

PB96 · 17/01/2025 11:49

I had… but a quick 5 minutes is different to cooking over a stove a proper hot breakfast which is the only thing he eats when he is here.

Well you're making a rod for your own back with this one. If this relationship lasts you aren't going to want to make a cooked breakfast for him every day. Next week, don't buy any bacon and just get some pastries in. Kill this expectation quick.

StopGo · 17/01/2025 11:52

Proper hot breakfast! Wonder what he manages at home? He's rather cheeky and expensive.

PB96 · 17/01/2025 11:50

owlexpress · 17/01/2025 11:47

Did you ask..? Three months is a fairly new relationship so you're right, he might not feel comfortable cooking in your kitchen without you. Equally, it's a fairly new relationship for him to be staying over 'regularly', and as an adult it doesn't really matter if you like cooking, you just have to do it! Maybe you both need some more space. I don't know, it shouldn't be this hard this early?

Edited

It’s not normally hard, and he doesn’t stay over regularly, it was the first time I had seen him in over a week because of his work hours. I didn’t ask, which I perhaps could have done, you’re right

OP posts:
ExtraOnions · 17/01/2025 11:50

Why does he needs to offer ? How about “would you mind making me a brew & some toast, I feel dreadful”

PB96 · 17/01/2025 11:49

ForRealCat · 17/01/2025 11:46

Surely you'd already got out of bed to let your dog out for the toilet and feed it?

I had… but a quick 5 minutes is different to cooking over a stove a proper hot breakfast which is the only thing he eats when he is here.

OP posts:
Lifestooshort71 · 17/01/2025 11:49

New relationship, staying over in your house so perhaps still feels a guest. Would he have got breakfast (of sorts) if you'd asked him to?

owlexpress · 17/01/2025 11:47

Did you ask..? Three months is a fairly new relationship so you're right, he might not feel comfortable cooking in your kitchen without you. Equally, it's a fairly new relationship for him to be staying over 'regularly', and as an adult it doesn't really matter if you like cooking, you just have to do it! Maybe you both need some more space. I don't know, it shouldn't be this hard this early?

ForRealCat · 17/01/2025 11:46

Surely you'd already got out of bed to let your dog out for the toilet and feed it?