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AIBU?

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Original poster

To change their surname to mine?

111 replies

Timeisaheala · 17/01/2025 08:22

Long story short but without drip feeding, I have 2 children with my ex boyfriend. We never married, we’ve split 5 years ago and in that time he has married the other woman and has 2 children with her. My children have his surname, as does his wife and his two children with her. It hurts me that she shares the same surname as my children but I never will.

aibu to use my surname for my children? For context dad is not in the picture anymore and has very very limited contact.

OP posts:
NorthernSpirit · 17/01/2025 08:32

No - you can't just change your child's surname without the consent of the father if he has parental responsibility.

You can apply to the court for a court order if you can't get everyone's consent and the father could stop you.

Your post reads that you want to change the children’s name because it hurts you that he didn’t marry you. That’s not a valid reason to change the children’s names just because you are jealous. Let the children decide when they are old enough.

Sunshineandrainbow · 17/01/2025 08:31

Are your children old enough to help with the decision?

Would he have to know, is he on the birth certificate ?

So glad I gave my kids my name Makes things easier.

JandamiHash · 17/01/2025 08:29

You’ll have to get his permission but absolutely do it. Perfectly fine to not want them to carry a name of a man who is not in their lives

CantHoldMeDown · 17/01/2025 08:28

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

Devilsmommy · 17/01/2025 08:26

Definitely change it. My aunt did this and it was so much better them having the same name. Saves alot of hassle with things too

CantHoldMeDown · 17/01/2025 08:26

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

LikeABat · 17/01/2025 08:26

Change it. You will probably need his permission if named on birth certificate as he will have parental responsibility.

Tcsha · 17/01/2025 08:25

I think you might need his permission, but yes change it or add yours to theirs so they have both parents surnames.

Thewrongdoor · 17/01/2025 08:25

How old are your children? Do they have an opinion?

Fontainebleau007 · 17/01/2025 08:23

Change it

iwasntexpectingthatoops · 17/01/2025 08:23

Change it.