To change their surname to mine?

Just to add we had no problems using a known as name with the GP’s and therefore the NHS as a whole.

You do not have to change their name legally at this stage. Just use a “known as” name for the GPs and school. When they are 16 change by deed poll and catch everything up then.
I did this with my DD who was born just after the law change in 2003 which meant I couldn’t change it legally without Dickhead’s permission. The only thing she had to put up with was her passport has to be in legal name but she was okay with that. We did deed poll on her 16th birthday and applied for bank accounts, driving license and everything else after with no issues and her latest passport has her new name too.

This is the easiest and simplest way to do it.

No, you can get a court order. I think double barrel is more likely to be agreed to than a change to yours only though. Go for it!

If he doesn't consent it's unlikely the courts would give you permission to do this.

Yanbu. But if he's on the birth certificate you need his permission. Which you probably won't get and can't argue against, because patriarchy.
You can't even double barrel it without permission which is especially galling.

My kids have my surname added on everything non-official. But for school register, passport, nhs and bank accounts it's just their dads name.

I don't think it's pathetic, anyone who asks just say I want to have the same name and my children, and the father, who isn't involved with them, won't allow the change.
I'd be applauding and championing any mum who did this, not thinking you were pathetic

If he doesn't allow the change of children, tell him you are changing yours to match the kids, if hands tied otherwise I think that's what I'd do

How would they know? To anyone but your ex and his wife you’d be changing yours to be the same as your children’s. He doesn’t own the name, it’s legitimately theirs. And presumably hundreds of thousands of other people’s unless it’s very unusual.

I know a child whose documents all say "Anna White" and she went by that until she was around 7 and then she changed to use her mum's name so she was known as "Anna Brown". When she started high school she reverted to "Anna White" because that's what she is legally called and her Young Scot Card which is used for school lunches and for free bus travel is in that name. I have never heard her mention her dad so I don't know if he is on the scene.

Another young person I know uses his mum's name. Dad is on the birth certificate and his name is what the young person is registered with (the parents were married). He desperately wants to legally use his mum's name as he doesn't want anything to do with his dad but it's the one hold that the dad still has over them and he refuses to give permission for the name change. He is counting down the days until he is 16 and can change it because school has to use the name on the birth certificate and it is a constant reminder to him of his dad.

Hope this helps. https://www.gov.uk/change-name-deed-poll

Not without father’s permission. It has to be agreed by everyone with parental responsibility. DHs ex tried this but DH complained to LEA and school had to change it back. Tbf he had joint custody and very involved (50/50 with each parent) but ex simply wanted all her children to have same surname ( as her new husband). She should have got him to change his surname to DHs really! Or not married DH in the first place which would have made my life so much easier

Did you put your name last and do it without a hyphen?

As most places in the UK get confused by double barrel names in this format and just use the last name.

If you can't change their names without his permission, and he won't give it....you can change yours. You don't need his permission to use the children's surname. Marriage or divorce has nothing to do with it. Obviously not so good if you hate the name...or you could ask to change their name legally and if he refuses tell him that you will have his name instead...he might not like that idea!

If the father’s name is on the birth certificate you cannot change the child’s surname without permission from the father. It’s the law.

I've done this (but we were married and got divorced, I went back to maiden name). You'll need him to agree. We agreed to double-barrel child's last name.

Unless you're sentimentally attached to your name, why not change it to your children's? Might be easier.

She can't without the other parents consent.

You need to be 16 to do a deed poll without parental permission.

BTW some of my friends changed their last names when their were 9-13 years old. Then when they got older they had to do a deed poll to stop questions being asked about their name change as various laws had changed over identity and it was the easiest way to deal with it.

I changed my sons name.

His dad has parental responsibility but hasn't seen him since he was 6 months old ( now nearly 16 ) He was arrested for DV against me when DS when 6 months. He never paid a penny, even after chasing through CMS, he just disappeared off the face of the of the earth.

I just did a deed poll before son was starting school as he didnt want to be questioned about his name and no dad, I ticked the box that said he didn't have PR and then changed it everywhere.

The only place his 'old' name is is his passport and that will be until he's 16 and can legally change it himself.

Was it right, no, but it was what my son wanted and there was no way I was looking for him to seek permission after the DV.

You'll need your ex's consent to change their surnames legally. Will he do this?

His wife would be silly.

Plenty of people have the same last name and are not blood related or related in anyway especially if is a common name like Smith, Brown etc.